Have True Faith, and do not doubt. I can assure you that the God of the Bible is real. He encountered me in the middle of the Arizona Desert and presented Himself to me in the most Powerful way, to the degree that if I had felt more of His Holy Peace and Love, I would have been physical altered somehow. Believe me . . . our Powerful God knows exactly where we are at all times, knows what we are thinking, doing, feeling and desire to do. There is nothing outside of the scope of your thinking that He is not aware of. More than this . . . He Truly Loves anyone who devotes their life to Him in proper balance.
When the Bible suggests that we ask, seek, and knock . . . nowhere does it say that we are to stop asking, seeking, and knocking. The idea of hesitantly stepping to His door, almost hoping that He will not answer, turn and run away after waiting for five seconds . . . the Lord will not open the door. He will likely make you wait a while to see if you're persistent; to see if you're serious (this time). We cannot give up . . . no matter how bad things might become, or how difficult this world seems, we cannot ever give up. If life were meant to be easy, why would we consistently read about the word "Endure" in some form or another?
So do not worry. Do not doubt. And if you do doubt, retrain your brain to no longer doubt . . . find a way! Those who live with fear, shame, and doubt, struggle the most (I lived that way for nearly fifty years). As Christians, we don't play Satan's evil game of doubt . . . even self-doubt. If we doubt ourselves, then we'll likely doubt the existence, or reality of God. But it is when we strip away self-doubt, and even self-hatred for many of us, these most evil emotions can be stripped away and when they are, they are replaced with a much more healthy, balanced sense of self-confidence. True self-confidence is balanced, meaning that we don't think we're the gift to God's Creation, nor do we hate ourselves at all . . . any . . . more. Believe in yourself . . . no matter what you have done. Christ died so that you would no longer need to live in shame and guilt, and when those emotions are put to death, you/we won't suffer as much from fear. Alleviating ourselves of fear, shame, and guilt, allows the mind to open up and receive life in a more balanced way. A more balanced mind is more capable of receiving, and understanding, the Holy Word of God.
So even if you have not felt the Lord in a most Powerful and Almighty way, trust that others have . . . and do your best to believe the rational and reasonable stories that you hear. If anyone ever speaks to you about the measurable Power of the Lord . . . pay attention. This is a Power that does not come from this place called earth. These people are known by God, so listen carefully when you meet them, and if possible, hang on to them. Only believe what seems reasonable and rational. Our God is exactly that . . . all things will make perfect sense to you one day.
And when the Lord opens His doors to you, that doesn't mean it's time to no longer ask, seek, and knock. Once the Spirit is within you, and the True restoration process has begun, you will ask and seek the Lord more and more. And don't worry . . . you will be enabled to do so. You will know that you have been enabled to seek and obey Him, when those attitudes and behaviors become a way of life if they aren't already.
Believe in yourself. I do!