Anyone

[DHCHARLES]

Did anyone read any of my "Reasons to Believe"
I have learned trough this work. How me, or anyone, can put I on the throne and even to the extent, of being so-full-of-myself and MY own thoughts rater than giving it all to the Lord. I could have saved a lot of time.I felt that I had went trough so much, and I did, that I mistakenly thought I was left alone to solve it all.
Still, though, I give God all the glory that HE leads me until August 4th when I became a heart Christian.
I do have one quandary; Ok, forgiveness is sssooooo important. I get this. However, what do you when an Uncle sexually abuses you? Should I forgive him then and then welcome his next opportunity to abuse me? He is dead now and I have forgiven him now, but what about then?
What should I have done when I was 9 or 10? What do I do with negative thoughts of the past? To keep me from thinking too much?

 

[Giuliano]

What do I do with negative thoughts of the past? To keep me from thinking too much?

I suggest making a list of good things you want to do. When you get negative thoughts, go do one of the good things. You can use those negative thoughts about the past to remind you to do good things now. If you sit and say, "I don't want to think about that," it could make the thoughts persist.

For example, if you're married or have a girlfriend, go kiss her if you can every time you think about your uncle. Remind yourself of what you have now. If she's not around, thank God for her or something else good you have.

What about the past? You were a child. Don't blame yourself. It's over. Think about the future, make it better by doing things that make you feel good about yourself and other people.

 

[DHCHARLES]

I suggest making a list of good things you want to do. When you get negative thoughts, go do one of the good things. You can use those negative thoughts about the past to remind you to do good things now. If you sit and say, "I don't want to think about that," it could make the thoughts persist.

For example, if you're married or have a girlfriend, go kiss her if you can every time you think about your uncle. Remind yourself of what you have now. If she's not around, thank God for her or something else good you have.

What about the past? You were a child. Don't blame yourself. It's over. Think about the future, make it better by doing things that make you feel good about yourself and other people.

My wife read what you said. It was very helpful and I will heed it. God Bless people like
you. In fact my wife is writing this because I am in the middle of cataract surgery. But I just wanted to reply to your post. God Bless DHCharles

 

[Giuliano]

It sounds as if you have both found treasures in each other. God be with you.

 

[amadeus]

@DHCHARLES

May God richly bless you and keep from being bothered by an evil past that cannot be changed. He is always able!

 

[quietthinker]

Did anyone read any of my "Reasons to Believe"
I have learned trough this work. How me, or anyone, can put I on the throne and even to the extent, of being so-full-of-myself and MY own thoughts rater than giving it all to the Lord. I could have saved a lot of time.I felt that I had went trough so much, and I did, that I mistakenly thought I was left alone to solve it all.
Still, though, I give God all the glory that HE leads me until August 4th when I became a heart Christian.
I do have one quandary; Ok, forgiveness is sssooooo important. I get this. However, what do you when an Uncle sexually abuses you? Should I forgive him then and then welcome his next opportunity to abuse me? He is dead now and I have forgiven him now, but what about then?
What should I have done when I was 9 or 10? What do I do with negative thoughts of the past? To keep me from thinking too much?

I have found persistence in forgiving whenever the unwanted or painful thoughts enter even if my feelings don't immediately change.
I ask God for strength and courage. They will loose their power either sooner or later. Don't give up.
It also becomes valuable experience knowing that in all things great or small God is willing and able to help.

 

[shnarkle]

what do you when an Uncle sexually abuses you?

Scream, fight, yell for help, run etc.

Should I forgive him then and then welcome his next opportunity to abuse me?

Forgiveness isn't just about forgiving those who ask for it, but so that we can heal as well. If they don't ask for forgiveness, don't bring it up with them. Forgive them in your heart so that you can heal. Forgiveness is not an invitation for abuse. In this case, I would remove myself from the situation altogether. If a parent or guardian cannot be trusted, I would go straight to child protective services and ask for assistance. Granted, every nine year old isn't going to know this, but most know enough to call 911 and scram into a phone for help.

What do I do with negative thoughts of the past? To keep me from thinking too much?

This is going to sound counterintuitive, but it worked for me. I set aside at least 20 minutes twice a day to observe my thoughts. I start by taking a few deep breaths, followed by simply focusing on my breathing. As thoughts arise, I simply observe them, and let them go so that I can return to focusing on my breathing. Sometimes a thought or feeling will pop up, and I forget to just observe it, and let it go so that I may return to focusing on my breathing. This can go on for quite a while until I finally become aware of the fact that I haven't been focusing on my breathing for a long time. This spotlights that I don't really have any control over my own thoughts. I am literally unconscious most of the time.

Regardless, the point here isn't just that we're not always in control of our thoughts, but also to show that as we let these thoughts go, and this includes all thoughts, feelings, etc. regardless of whether they're good, bad, etc.; we get better at this process until it becomes something that happens during the normal course of the day.

This technique also allows one to see that the feelings and thoughts that one has are not who one is. It allows one to stop identifying with thoughts, feelings altogether. This doesn't mean that we can't enjoy pleasant thoughts or feelings. We can select those thoughts and feelings we want to think or feel. It puts us in control rather than having the thoughts and feelings controlling us.

 

[farouk]

Did anyone read any of my "Reasons to Believe"
I have learned trough this work. How me, or anyone, can put I on the throne and even to the extent, of being so-full-of-myself and MY own thoughts rater than giving it all to the Lord. I could have saved a lot of time.I felt that I had went trough so much, and I did, that I mistakenly thought I was left alone to solve it all.
Still, though, I give God all the glory that HE leads me until August 4th when I became a heart Christian.
I do have one quandary; Ok, forgiveness is sssooooo important. I get this. However, what do you when an Uncle sexually abuses you? Should I forgive him then and then welcome his next opportunity to abuse me? He is dead now and I have forgiven him now, but what about then?
What should I have done when I was 9 or 10? What do I do with negative thoughts of the past? To keep me from thinking too much?

Hebrews 12.2