It has not been my experience that fighting to not react outwardly makes any difference at all. I already murdered in my mind and heart whether it proceeded outward or not. Wasnt the apostles point that he could NOT do what he wanted? Wasnt his point that he seemed to have no choice but to do what his sinful nature dictated? Can a leopard change his spots by simply choosing to do so? Life in the Spirit is not the outside of the cup and it is those who see their poverty who will ask for what they lack.
It is true as you say that the flesh and the Spirit will fight until the day of your death. That is why one struggles so hard to give up their life to find it.
You are right about the outward appearance ; You can outwardly seem holy - yet inwardly be vicious and hate - murder like you said.
Believe that communion with the Father, and the Lord Jesus Christ causes santification.
See here if you read the bible in Colossians 3:
5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.
Verse 5: if you desire to know about all of these words according to the greek please click here:
Colossians 3:5 Greek Text Analysis and click the word under the greek tab and then click on Strongs Greek - Concordance Enteries.
6 Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.
Verse 6: (Children of Israel whom were disobedient - God's wrath coming upon the nation of Israel - in context!!!)
7 You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived.
Verse 7: You use to walk in these ways, your earthly nature: until you found the truth about God and the Lord Jesus Christ bring brought out of darkness from your former life, transferred by the Father into the kingdom of His Son - Heavenly Kingdom.
8 But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.
You must also rid yourself of these things - anger, rage, malice, slander, filthy language from your lips. (anyone interested in deeper understanding of these words according to the greek language:
Colossians 3:8 Greek Text Analysis - Click on the word listed under Greek -> then click on - Strongs Greek - Concordance Entries)
9 Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.
Verse 9-10: Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self - with it's former practices, and have put on the new self which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of it's Creator.
11 Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.
So basically when we are renewed in knowledge of our new identify yourself in knowing that Christ is with-in you -: You die to your old self in Christ Jesus - and become the new creation that is all coming by and through God, through the spirit - through faith - that is gained by reading the word, and hearing the word that builds up faith in a believer.
These are my own thoughts on the subject based by using the bible and what it says:
@stunnedbygrace thank you for your post and may God give the increase to you and your family, and others.