Here's a repost of mine on this subject.
Marriage: What is marriage and when do you really become married? Is it after some formal or elaborate ceremony or process, such as when a justice of the peace, ordained minister or “priest” of some church mumbles some words in front of you both while holding a bible or some other “religious” book, after which he says you’re now married, or what?
Such things as mentioned above are man-made traditions which have evolved over time and may in fact be
what’s commonly done and accepted by society for a variety of reasons including satisfying society’s legal process, but although society, including the church and religious bodies in general, may tend to consider or discuss marriage from man's point of view based on such worldly, legalistic, and/or ceremonial perspectives, do these processes really constitute marriage or being/becoming married according to the scriptures? At what point are you considered married in the eyes of God since you won’t find any ceremony required or sanctioned by
God in the bible? When do you become married from God’s perspective and what does the bible say and teach regarding this subject?
So, what does the word “marriage” mean? What does “marry” (verb) or “to marry” mean from which it’s derived? Aside from the commonly accepted use and understanding (by man) today of the word “marriage” in the human sense of joining 2 people together in marriage as noted above through some ceremonial or otherwise accepted legal process, the word also means (according to Webster), “combine”, or “unite”, “merge”, “blend”, and so on, such as when (in non-human terms) considering the joining together physically of, for instance, 2 pieces of metal by welding, fastening, soldering, etc., or 2 pieces of wood by gluing them together, or by the use of screws, nails, or a variety of other means, as well as all other previously separated objects that are joined together through some process by which they become physically one. But in all cases whether applying the word to people or inanimate objects or ‘things’, the end result is the physical joining together of the 2 previously separate pieces so they then become united as one! This is what happens when 2 people are joined together in “marriage”; they become one physically, but when does this really occur?
Gen 2:24
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
Comment: Here, at the very beginning, in the second chapter of God’s word, there was no ceremony, no man-made traditions of any kind, yet God speaks of the man and his wife, and further that “they shall be one flesh”.
So, at what point did they become “one flesh” would be the logical question to ask? The answer should be obvious: when they are joined together sexually!
So were Adam and Eve married? I’d say that they were at this point as further documented below. She was his wife, but they were not one flesh until they were joined together physically (“married”) by having sex.
Gen 4:1
“And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the LORD.”
Comment: Here in this passage, Eve was considered Adam’s wife, after which he “knew” her, which is the common word and phraseology used in the bible to denote that sexual relations occurred without there being a ceremony, and without having yet engaged in sexual intercourse, which is at the point they became “one flesh” and were “married”, or joined together.
A bit later in Genesis, chapter 38 (below), you find another instance that clearly defines the point at which people become “married”, also with no ceremony and without the man and woman in this case even being man-and-wife. If this instance, the man was told to “go in unto” (which is another common phrase used in the scriptures meaning to have sexual intercourse with) his deceased brother’s wife and “marry” her so she could bare offspring through her brother-in-law on behalf of his deceased brother, which was the tradition at that time sanctioned by God, as a means of carrying-on and perpetuating the family. The key here is that this was considered “marrying” (the joining together physically of the two individuals).
Gen 38: 1-10
6 And Judah took a wife for Er his firstborn, whose name was Tamar. 7 And Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the LORD; and the LORD slew him. 8 And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother. 9 And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. 10 And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him
Mat19: 5-6
"And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."
1 Cor: 15-16
"Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.
“What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.”
