Dementia: Dealing with an aging parent

[VictoryinJesus]

Dad is doing ok. I saw him this morning. Kind of groggy. I think the antibiotics are hard on him.
He told me he wanted to go home. I said they had to finish fixing him up first.
So weak he couldn't feed himself,so I helped him eat scrambled egg and some jello.
I had to leave early as we lost power yesterday afternoon and I didn't remember what was left on or not.
So,power came back on about 6:30 tonight. Good thing, it was starting to get cold.
No damages, lots of trees down behind the house. I slept pretty good last night, regardless of the wind.
I only lost the milk and I'm not crying over it. :)
Even the icecream survived.
He wasn't much up for company.After he ate he just wanted to lay back down. So I figure the more sleep the better.
I'll go again in the morning. The hospital he is in is only 15 minutes away, so that makes it easier than the one he was in before which was almost an hour away.
He said he was cold, but the hospital was on emergency backup due to the storm. He likes it 80 degrees. And I think they were running like
65-68.
Hopefully there will be some improvement tomorrow.
They don't have him walking yet.

Thank you for asking.
HUGS

So glad to read your father is doing better. Sounds tough with then the power went out too! Goodness! When it rains it pours but it sounds like you a looking at the better side of it.

You know how small things speak in times of troubles. It may not be that significant to others but to me last night…I was stunned by it so I want to share it with you.

Matthew 15:30-31 And great multitudes came unto him, having with them those that were lame, blind, dumb, maimed, and many others, and cast them down at Jesus' feet; and he healed them: [31] Insomuch that the multitude wondered, when they saw the dumb to speak, the maimed to be whole, the lame to walk, and the blind to see: and they glorified the God of Israel.

Consider the above with the passage where He unrolls the scroll and reads to them Luke 4:18-21 The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, [19] To preach the acceptable year of the Lord. [20] And he closed the book, and he gave it again to the minister, and sat down. And the eyes of all them that were in the synagogue were fastened on him. [21] And he began to say unto them, This day is this scripture fulfilled in your ears.

What jumped out last night was a little further down…to me a prophecy (that I had not noticed before) He gave to them telling them (Imo) that they would see those things “deliverance of the captives, sight given to the blind…” and they would surely say this Proverb to Him, saying “Physician, Heal yourself.”

To me it’s jaw dropping that He forecast the very words they say in Matthew and Luke when He is on the cross …and that He told them they would say to Him “Physician, Heal yourself!” Way back when He sat in the temple and read from the scroll. They did say it “He healed others, Heal yourself! Come down from the cross!” And again “He healed others but He can’t heal Himself. If you be the King of Israel, come down from the cross!” It is in the proverbs too! Just as He told them they would surely speak the proverb
to Him “Physician, Heal yourself!” You would think when they were mocking Him telling Him that He saved other’s and to save Himself…they would remember His prophecy that they would speak this proverb to Him of “Physician, Heal thyself!”

 

[Ziggy]

So glad to read your father is doing better. Sounds tough with then the power went out too! Goodness! When it rains it pours but it sounds like you a looking at the better side of it.

You know how small things speak in times of troubles. It may not be that significant to others but to me last night…I was stunned by it so I want to share it with you.

Matthew 15:30-31 And great multitudes came unto him, having with them those that were lame, blind, dumb, maimed, and many others, and cast them down at Jesus' feet; and he healed them: [31] Insomuch that the multitude wondered, when they saw the dumb to speak, the maimed to be whole, the lame to walk, and the blind to see: and they glorified the God of Israel.

Consider the above with the passage where He unrolls the scroll and reads to them Luke 4:18-21 The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, [19] To preach the acceptable year of the Lord. [20] And he closed the book, and he gave it again to the minister, and sat down. And the eyes of all them that were in the synagogue were fastened on him. [21] And he began to say unto them, This day is this scripture fulfilled in your ears.

What jumped out last night was a little further down…to me a prophecy (that I had not noticed before) He gave to them telling them (Imo) that they would see those things “deliverance of the captives, sight given to the blind…” and they would surely say this Proverb to Him, saying “Physician, Heal yourself.”

To me it’s jaw dropping that He forecast the very words they say in Matthew and Luke when He is on the cross …and that He told them they would say to Him “Physician, Heal yourself!” Way back when He sat in the temple and read from the scroll. They did say it “He healed others, Heal yourself! Come down from the cross!” And again “He healed others but He can’t heal Himself. If you be the King of Israel, come down from the cross!” It is in the proverbs too! Just as He told them they would surely speak the proverb
to Him “Physician, Heal yourself!” You would think when they were mocking Him telling Him that He saved other’s and to save Himself…they would remember His prophecy that they would speak this proverb to Him of “Physician, Heal thyself!”

Mat 5:17
Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.

Mat 5:18
For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.

Hugs

 

[amigo de christo]

March on ziggy . the LORD is our hope and our salvation .
While reading through your responses i could not help to notice something you said about your dad .
he just wants to go home
Though i myself at not in the hospitial or etc , Believe me i can understand and still long for HOME .
The HOME that cometh at the COMING OF THE KING JESUS . Hope that cheers you up my friend .
CAUSE a wonderful HOME does await the lambs at the end of our faith .

 

[Ziggy]

Dad was looking better today. They had him up sitting in a chair for lunch.
I told one of the nurses: This happens every winter for the last 3 years. Don't know why it always comes round this time of year.
She asked me something I thought was odd, but made sense.
Did he lose anyone around this time of year?
I thought, my mom died in March, His mother died in February, his 2nd son died on Easter Sunday so between march and april.
But my oldest brother died in the early fall. And he was with him when he passed away.
So I thought, maybe some kind of loss or trauma could bring this on?
I don't know, I just thought it was an odd question, and yet makes sense.
Dad's a tough cookie mentally. I just don't know how much more his body can take.
He was sharp and in a fair mood today. I think if he could just put up his feet and give up the ghost, he would. And I couldn't blame him for wanting that long awaited rest. But he's stubborn lol. I don't think he wants to leave me alone.
And I'm not alone, and I know he knows that too.
Hospitals are such cold places. Not uncaring but, what's the word... medicinal?
I try to bring in a little bit of sunshine even if it's gloomy outside.

I think they'll be moving him to rehab soon. It's usually a little warmer there. But not like home.
I want him home too. And maybe I'm not ready to let him go.

Anywho...
Was a good day and I'm thankful for that.
Praise God!
Hugs

 

[Rita]

Pleased to hear he is feeling better Ziggy xxxx

 

[Ritajanice]

Dementia, has got to be one of the cruelest diseases, I worked in dementia care for a number of years...

It robs them of who they are and much more!!.....

What the families of their loved ones have to witness is heartbreaking.....my thoughts and prayers are with there families as many of them are also the caregivers ,.....

I’ve witnessed my friend caring for here husband with it....I saw the toll it took on her, in the end...he had to go into care....as he was a danger to himself and wife.....he received 24 hr care...in the EMI unit he was placed in.

 

[Angelina]

I just finished working in a Dementia unit this year after spending 10 years there on nightshift. It has been the most rewarding place to work in second only to palliative care. I miss my residents but also know that they are in good hands. There have been many amazing and wonderful moments as well as sad times. I still wonder why this happens particularly towards ministers of the Lord who need care and support after many years of service. It happens though, more often than we realise and one day my questions will be answered.

 

[VictoryinJesus]

I just finished working in a Dementia unit this year after spending 10 years there on nightshift. It has been the most rewarding place to work in second only to palliative care. I miss my residents but also know that they are in good hands. There have been many amazing and wonderful moments as well as sad times. I still wonder why this happens particularly towards ministers of the Lord who need care and support after many years of service. It happens though, more often than we realise and one day my questions will be answered.

You are amazing for working with so many with Dementia. My sister and I talk about this often how exceptional people are who willingly fill this role as caregiver to so many. she is our mom, so we do it. But the times she has had to the hospital and the nurses come in to care for her…my sister and I say “you deserve to be paid more.” I get it’s not about that but as you said the rewarding moments you have shared with them and their families. Once I had to take mom to the hospital because she could not go to the bathroom. I had tried to handle it at home, but I couldn’t. I had given her a suppository and when it didn’t work…big mistake…she used another. she was wailing and trembling from the pain. So I took her to the hospital. When we got there it wasn’t long before she couldn’t stop using the bathroom. She was on the toilet when I got this bright idea that I would do a flush while she was sitting on it….nurses are coming in and out. The smell was so bad. Well…The toilet overflowed while mom was sitting on it. It was my fault but it overflowed a whole corner of the bathroom and nurses had to come in to help clean mom up. Mom doesn’t remember it…thank God in this one instance her forgetting what happened. But the caregivers were amazing. I asked them “how do you do this?” They said “it doesn’t bother me. I love my job.” It’s like parents taking care of their kids, because it’s their kids it makes it a little easier. When others do it, willingly, for those who are not their own family…that blows my mind! On top of that having multiple patients at one time! You are a special breed to fill that role (Imo)! I don’t think I could.

 

[St. SteVen]

My Mom has now deteriorated to the point where they need to put her in "Memory Care".
Another new term that doesn't seem to indicate what it is.
Pretty sure it doesn't mean that they will help her with her memory issues.

It's locked ward to prevent her escape.
She's been trying to get out of the building late at night.
This is Minnesota in the winter. Good thing she didn't succeed.

Reminds me of mental asylum horror movies. (sigh)
Not cheap either. Funds are evaporating fast.

/

 

[amadeus]

I just read through this thread and I am feeling very thankful for all of the sons & daughters caring for parents and other caregivers giving so much for those in need. I am praying for all of you.

 

[Ziggy]

Dad had a couple procedures done yesterday. He had a colonoscopy and an EGD, which was to see if he had an ulcer in his stomach.
The first came out good, but they did find a small ulcer in his stomach.
He was groggy when I got there at 9am. Seems his room mate had a really bad night and dad didn't get much sleep.
He went in for the tests around 11:30.
When he came out of the procedures he was still under anesthesia and he wasn't making any sense.
He kept saying, I got 10,9,8,7 but no 6.
What you talking bout dad? On the back, ok i got 6. 4,3,2, no ten.
Finally he said, Queen, Jack....
Oh ok he's playing solitare on his laptop. His fingers were moving as if manipulating the mouse.
I left around 3:30 in the afternoon. He was sleeping pretty sound.
Around 6pm I got a call from the nurse asking me about his meds. She said he couldn't remember what he was taking.

Usually he is the one reminding me.

So I'm going to head back over this afternoon, I got my lawncare guy John coming over today to help cleanup some of the branches and tree trunks that fell during last weeks storm. Seems like yesterday but I guess it was Tuesday. I have a very large treadmill in the livingroom neither one of us uses, so I'm going to have him move it to the garage, so dad has more room to walk around.
He isn't up and walking yet though.
If all go wells then by Tuesday they'll be taking him to rehab in Bangor, which is about 45 min. from where I live.
They said he would probably stay there for a week or two.
I hope it don't snow. I can't drive in the snow. Rain ok.
And I can't drive at night. I have no night eyes and I get a little anxiety and stressed driving at night.
So the next couple weeks may be interesting.

I hope when I visit later today he won't still be playing solitaire. I can't help him find what I can't see. lol

One day at a time sweet Jesus.

Hugs

 

[amigo de christo]

Dad had a couple procedures done yesterday. He had a colonoscopy and an EGD, which was to see if he had an ulcer in his stomach.
The first came out good, but they did find a small ulcer in his stomach.
He was groggy when I got there at 9am. Seems his room mate had a really bad night and dad didn't get much sleep.
He went in for the tests around 11:30.
When he came out of the procedures he was still under anesthesia and he wasn't making any sense.
He kept saying, I got 10,9,8,7 but no 6.
What you talking bout dad? On the back, ok i got 6. 4,3,2, no ten.
Finally he said, Queen, Jack....
Oh ok he's playing solitare on his laptop. His fingers were moving as if manipulating the mouse.
I left around 3:30 in the afternoon. He was sleeping pretty sound.
Around 6pm I got a call from the nurse asking me about his meds. She said he couldn't remember what he was taking.

Usually he is the one reminding me.

So I'm going to head back over this afternoon, I got my lawncare guy John coming over today to help cleanup some of the branches and tree trunks that fell during last weeks storm. Seems like yesterday but I guess it was Tuesday. I have a very large treadmill in the livingroom neither one of us uses, so I'm going to have him move it to the garage, so dad has more room to walk around.
He isn't up and walking yet though.
If all go wells then by Tuesday they'll be taking him to rehab in Bangor, which is about 45 min. from where I live.
They said he would probably stay there for a week or two.
I hope it don't snow. I can't drive in the snow. Rain ok.
And I can't drive at night. I have no night eyes and I get a little anxiety and stressed driving at night.
So the next couple weeks may be interesting.

I hope when I visit later today he won't still be playing solitaire. I can't help him find what I can't see. lol

One day at a time sweet Jesus.

Hugs

I believe that with the effects of the anesthesia , as it causes one to sleep . Upon waking up
the drug is still affecting the brain and that what is occuring is they are partially dreaming
while being awake . Folks will see things too . I bet pops was probably seeing a dream of him playing
solitaire . I think this is because the drug is still at work and even though they are waking up
still part of the brain might be in dream mode . Just a guess my friend .

 

[Ziggy]

I believe that with the effects of the anesthesia , as it causes one to sleep . Upon waking up
the drug is still affecting the brain and that what is occuring is they are partially dreaming
while being awake . Folks will see things too . I bet pops was probably seeing a dream of him playing
solitaire . I think this is because the drug is still at work and even though they are waking up
still part of the brain might be in dream mode . Just a guess my friend .

He stopped playing on the laptop about a month ago. His hands were bothering him with the arthritis.
And the anesthesia they gave him was supposed to be mild. He likes the solitaire called Klondike.
It's 730 am. John is coming over around 10. Debating if I want to go over this morning or this afternoon.
I'll probably wait, then I won't feel rushed.
Taking over his shaving gear. He starting to look like santa lol. Got his newspaper. Don't know if he'll be up to reading it.
I just hope he is a bit more focused today.
My mother in law, sharp as a whip one day, and not knowing where she was another. It can happen quick.
I'm just keeping an eye open. I don't know what triggers it. It might be infection or depression.. idk.
Thank you friend.
Hugs

 

[Ziggy]

What a rollercoaster ride this is turning out to be.
Dad was looking better last night when I left.
This morning the doc called and told me dad got some bleeding and they had to do a blood transfusion.
Seems he lost a lot. But they don't know where it's coming from.
When I got there this morning he was white and pasty. He wasn't talking much just sleeping.
They think he may have an upper GI bleed, but this hospital isn't set up for that kind of procedure, so they may have to move him to another hospital.
I just got home a few minutes ago. He was looking better and talking a bit.
Please keep dad in your prayers.
He's still playing solitaire, because they keep giving him anesthesia for these tests.
He can't find the 2. I'm debating on whether to bring a deck of cards with me tomorrow for christmas.
He can't handle the cards but I can. And I can't see the cards but he can. So maybe tomorrow we could win that game together.
LOL

idk what's going on. He told me this morning he was done. I hope he has a change of heart tomorrow.
Thank you all for being here so I have a place I can talk to about this.
I know when it's the Lord's time to go, you go. And he's ready.
I don't know if I am...

anywho...
much love
Hugs

 

[amadeus]

What a rollercoaster ride this is turning out to be.
Dad was looking better last night when I left.
This morning the doc called and told me dad got some bleeding and they had to do a blood transfusion.
Seems he lost a lot. But they don't know where it's coming from.
When I got there this morning he was white and pasty. He wasn't talking much just sleeping.
They think he may have an upper GI bleed, but this hospital isn't set up for that kind of procedure, so they may have to move him to another hospital.
I just got home a few minutes ago. He was looking better and talking a bit.
Please keep dad in your prayers.
He's still playing solitaire, because they keep giving him anesthesia for these tests.
He can't find the 2. I'm debating on whether to bring a deck of cards with me tomorrow for christmas.
He can't handle the cards but I can. And I can't see the cards but he can. So maybe tomorrow we could win that game together.
LOL

idk what's going on. He told me this morning he was done. I hope he has a change of heart tomorrow.
Thank you all for being here so I have a place I can talk to about this.
I know when it's the Lord's time to go, you go. And he's ready.
I don't know if I am...

anywho...
much love
Hugs

Praying for you and your Dad.

 

[VictoryinJesus]

What a rollercoaster ride this is turning out to be.
Dad was looking better last night when I left.
This morning the doc called and told me dad got some bleeding and they had to do a blood transfusion.
Seems he lost a lot. But they don't know where it's coming from.
When I got there this morning he was white and pasty. He wasn't talking much just sleeping.
They think he may have an upper GI bleed, but this hospital isn't set up for that kind of procedure, so they may have to move him to another hospital.
I just got home a few minutes ago. He was looking better and talking a bit.
Please keep dad in your prayers.
He's still playing solitaire, because they keep giving him anesthesia for these tests.
He can't find the 2. I'm debating on whether to bring a deck of cards with me tomorrow for christmas.
He can't handle the cards but I can. And I can't see the cards but he can. So maybe tomorrow we could win that game together.
LOL

idk what's going on. He told me this morning he was done. I hope he has a change of heart tomorrow.
Thank you all for being here so I have a place I can talk to about this.
I know when it's the Lord's time to go, you go. And he's ready.
I don't know if I am...

anywho...
much love
Hugs

I’m sad to read about the change that happened so quick. Because the last time you shared he was doing well. Your card idea is sweet and thoughtful for him. I hope you two get this time together. I don’t want to scare you but my brother passed at 58. When you said your father was bleeding I suspected the cause before you said what they think it is. My only advice is not let your father leave the hospital or try to take him home. My brother signed himself out. He wanted to go out of state with his girlfriend. He never came home from his trip. It wasn’t the bleeding but his neglecting treating the bleeding that turned really bad. He became septic. He may have done okay if he would have allowed the doctors to stay ahead of any infection. Thinking of you and your father.

 

[Ziggy]

Still riding the rollercoaster but it looks like it's almost over.

So Friday they found a lot of blood, so they did scopes to see if they could find where it's coming from.
They found a small ulcer in his stomach but it wasn't bleeding. And he kept passing blood.
So Sunday they scoped him again, and still they couldn't find anything. So they believed it was coming from his upper Gi.

I asked the doctor if I could toss a hypothetical out there and see what he thought.

I said, dad had no bleeding before he came to the hospital. When he arrived they began administering blood thinners through his belly.
I know they were doing this at least 2 times a day, not sure if there was more.
So I asked...
Is it possible this ulcer in his stomach had been bleeding and somehow coagulted and when they administered the blood thinners, it some how dislodged a clot and that what was exiting his body?
The doctor said, it's possible. We took him off the blood thinners, we thought maybe the same thing.
But we're going to schedule him to go to another hospital and have the GI procedure just incase. We're waiting for a bed.

Yesterday, there wasn't hardly any bleeding. They took him off the transfusion to see how his levels would hold.
All looks well. No bleeding today.
And if no bleeding tomorrow then they won't give him that procedure, but may send him there for rehab instead.

So it's one day at a time. Today he was sitting up in his chair watching tv, waiting for his liquid lunch.
So he went to take a nap and I came home to get some rest.
Been running a lot lately and my own health is a little shaky right now.
Have to give my body time to bring that blood flow level back up to drip drip speed.

I got a bit lightheaded today so I gave the girl my daughter's phone number. Took a nice hot shower to get rid of the chills.
Feeling better now. I'll be going back again tomorrow.
Praying there is no bleeding and it was just the blood thinners after all.
Looks that way anyways.

Thankyou for your prayers
Much love
Hugs

 

[amadeus]

Still riding the rollercoaster but it looks like it's almost over.

So Friday they found a lot of blood, so they did scopes to see if they could find where it's coming from.
They found a small ulcer in his stomach but it wasn't bleeding. And he kept passing blood.
So Sunday they scoped him again, and still they couldn't find anything. So they believed it was coming from his upper Gi.

I asked the doctor if I could toss a hypothetical out there and see what he thought.

I said, dad had no bleeding before he came to the hospital. When he arrived they began administering blood thinners through his belly.
I know they were doing this at least 2 times a day, not sure if there was more.
So I asked...
Is it possible this ulcer in his stomach had been bleeding and somehow coagulted and when they administered the blood thinners, it some how dislodged a clot and that what was exiting his body?
The doctor said, it's possible. We took him off the blood thinners, we thought maybe the same thing.
But we're going to schedule him to go to another hospital and have the GI procedure just incase. We're waiting for a bed.

Yesterday, there wasn't hardly any bleeding. They took him off the transfusion to see how his levels would hold.
All looks well. No bleeding today.
And if no bleeding tomorrow then they won't give him that procedure, but may send him there for rehab instead.

So it's one day at a time. Today he was sitting up in his chair watching tv, waiting for his liquid lunch.
So he went to take a nap and I came home to get some rest.
Been running a lot lately and my own health is a little shaky right now.
Have to give my body time to bring that blood flow level back up to drip drip speed.

I got a bit lightheaded today so I gave the girl my daughter's phone number. Took a nice hot shower to get rid of the chills.
Feeling better now. I'll be going back again tomorrow.
Praying there is no bleeding and it was just the blood thinners after all.
Looks that way anyways.

Thankyou for your prayers
Much love
Hugs

Continue to take care of yourself while doing for your father, dear sister in Christ!

 

[St. SteVen]

Continue to take care of yourself while doing for your father, dead sister in Christ!

Ahem... better fix that typo, friend. - LOL

/

 

[amadeus]

Ahem... better fix that typo, friend. - LOL

/

Yes, thank you.