God's love is the most real thing in the world to me. I cannot adequately express his love. It is palpable.I once took God's love for granted. I thought, "Sure. God loves me." When I thought about it, it just seemed like a no brainer, but I never got past the obvious. Then I got sick. I was healthy all of my life, but all of a sudden I was very sick. And I did not know how to be sick. I did not know how to ask for help or even prayer.That was over 18 years ago. I have never been well since. I have not worked in over four years. Before that I wasn't very effective for many years. I could not face up to my illness and lived in denial. I felt sorry for myself and lapsed into depression.Corrie Ten Boom once said that you don't know who Jesus is until he is all you have. I reached that place and it isn't very pretty. The view at the bottom is worse than you can imagine. I became angry and did not go to church for two years after my younger brother died of cancer. I felt like Job who lamented that he was ever born.God snapped me out of my depression, but did it in such a way that glorifies him and blessed me in a mighty way. I can thank him for emotional and spiritual healing. Some day I hope to thank him for physical healing as well, but that will have to wait.I am a better person since I became sick. I am more sympathetic of others. I can ask for help now. I have no more pride to lose. I can live transparently, sharing my story with others. But most importantly, I learned something about God's love.God loves us even when we don't love ourselves. He sees value in us when we don't. The magnitude of his love is so great than we cannot comprehend it. God never stops showering us with his love and most of the time we never stop to thank him or give it back to him, but he still does not let up. It is always there.I no longer take God for granted. I do not doubt him. Ever. I know he is real and nothing could ever change my mind. Nothing. It is like a second reality to me, one that I feel privileged to experience. It just goes on and on.I live with constant pain and tiredness and sometimes I find myself feeling discouraged, but then I just instantly know that life is good. But no more pity parties. They don't work. I just instantly know his presence and love. I cannot explain it. If I tried someone might think that I was nuts, delusional. They might think that I was possessed and I could only say that they were right. I would wish everyone felt as I do.Blessings,Dunamite