Does repentance Always require a full (tear jerking ) breakdown ?

[fredconk]

I have been lately asking the Lord to show me what makes him unhappy in my life . I knew (or thought I knew) that when he showed me then I was most probably going to be a basket case as far as being able to control my feelings. Then this past wednesday night ; just so happened we had a lesson on mercy. How in order to receive mercy you must also give mercy.
By definition Merriam-Webster says # 3. compassionate treatment of those in distress . Happens to be that there is someone in my extended family who is in bad health . I have attempted to witness to him but met a cold heart. This man is in the truest form EVIL HATEFUL . In turn I do pray for him but have also (in my mind) washed my hands of him. There is much much more to this story than I need to put out here .
​ The thing is , last wednesday when I realized I needed to be more merciful than I have been . I thought about when praying (now this is serious) if it would be ok or enough to admit that I have been short in that area and say I will try to do better and get up and go my way . Or is it necessary that we have a full breakdown acknowliging we see our sins for what they are and ask for help in getting better. I have already asked for forgiveness for having the attitude I do .
Due to things that happened in the military I am a disabled vet and I see a counselor regularly . My counselor said that the feelings I had toward this guy was natural and that God gave us these feelings . I do not accept his reply . Or rather accept his reply as someone who does not have a relationship with God. I have that opinion only because of the comments he has in the past had to say about God.
Am I thinking wrong ?

 

[Angelina]

I thought about when praying (now this is serious) if it would be ok or enough to admit that I have been short in that area and say I will try to do better and get up and go my way . Or is it necessary that we have a full breakdown acknowliging we see our sins for what they are and ask for help in getting better. I have already asked for forgiveness for having the attitude I do

Hi fredconk, Welcome to CyB.. :)

Your post reminded me of the story in Mark 9
23 “‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.”
24 Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”
25 When Jesus saw that a crowd was running to the scene, he rebuked the impure spirit. “You deaf and mute spirit,” he said, “I command you, come out of him and never enter him again.”

We need to understand that we are in the process of becoming more like Jesus...we are not there yet but determine ourselves toward that end. I had a friend who was [and still is] married to a guy who was a womanizer among other things. She came to me one day distressed and ready to divorce her husband because he stepped over the line and she could not forgive him for it. As we discussed this situation, I said that she was absolutely right to be angry and right to want to divorce the guy. However, if we want to move on with God, we need rid ourselves of the things that hinder us from doing that. Unforgiveness is a terrible thing to hold against someone, even if you are in the right. God says that if we do not forgive others their sins against us, he will not forgive our sins....Why should she "the victim" be the loser in a situation like this...As we continued in this conversation and I suggested that she be honest with God and tell him that she cannot forgive him and that he will help her to forgive...She asked God to take her position as the forgiver on her behalf because she could not. This was not about who was in the right or who was wronged but about forgiveness...God broke through on their behalf and she was able to not only forgive him but their marriage is an awesome one....and he never did that again... Also, all his other vices were broken off as well..."Praise the Lord"

I hope this helps....

Blessings!!!

 

[John S]

1. Welcome to the site.
2. NO - It's not necessary to have a tearful breakdown.
3. You shouldn't minister to anyone unless they show a desire for you to talk to them about religious matters. Instead, if you wanted to talk to the man, you should have talked to him in a non-religious manner - like sports, the weather, or some other topic of conversation. Get his trust first.

 

[HammerStone]

Funny how the same themes come up. Yesterday, I read an article by a man who is now Eastern Orthodox. He journeyed from Methodism (as a youth) to Catholicism, and later he became disillusioned with Catholicism and went east. He has written a story about his sister (and his family) who died of cancer, and they remained both local and Methodists, the title of the book is the The Little Way of Ruthie Lemming.

On his blog, he made this comment. The context was that he returned to his home to live, and he was speaking at a local Methodist church:

"Life is hard and long, and I’ve come to the conclusion that most people in church are trying to do the best they can. That doesn’t make us all correct, nor does it mean the things that divide us aren’t important. But it does put them in perspective, at least for me, and make me try to be more merciful, because I need mercy too."

One of the things that Eastern Orthodox do get much, much better than us westernized Protestants is that our salvation is a journey. We are saved, yes, but we are also being saved. We are being sanctified. This is an ongoing process, and it doesn't end until we die and return to Jesus. We simply do not have that cathartic moment of salvation where all becomes crystal clear and we lead a perfect life.

I'm sure you're familiar with the old saying "different strokes for different folks?" We may not come to Jesus in the exact same way. There is a Biblical requirement for repentence, but the amount of emotion at that moment is not something that needs to meet a requirement. I've seen and heard of a number of Christians who underwent a very gradual process in their salvation. I myself cannot really point to a singular moment in time when I was saved. I have no exciting story of repentence, other than the story that the same grace and mercy I received is available to everyone else.

Every Christian's story is different. That's the beauty of a God who works it together in one brilliant, eternal mosaic.

 

[AndyBern]

Some people are more 'wired' for tears than others. I am not.

It is tempting to look at others who have experienced tearful repentance, and then think to myself, "I haven't cried yet... have I really repented?" But that is not what repentance is about. Even if I did have a break down, tears don't have to be evidence of repentance. They could be just remorse, like with Judas.

Repentance is a change of heart and mind. It is humbling oneself toward God, turning from your sin (however imperfectly) and surrendering your will to His. This results in a change of actions, the 'fruit' of repentance in Luke 3:8. Emotions, if any, are just a side-effect.

 

[horsecamp]

hi friend

the best fruit of repentance is never wanting to do the crime again because were in love with Jesus

and not wanting to ever do it again shows thanks to him for dying in our place for our sins..

human emotions may or may not always be part of repenting of a certain sin each time..
only God sees the heart men can only judge by our confessions or by our out side appearance


what is always part of repentance is that one knows and trusts in the forgiveness Jesus has won for them..

Gods objective justification accomplished by Jesus

ANY ONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD WILL BE EASIER TO LOVE ONCE YOU wrap your mind around the fact God has declared
the whole world righteous for the sake of His son who died for the whole world that includes guys like hitler or some other we think God could not have justified ..yet the bible says he did. Romans 5:18

in Gods eyes every one who ever lived are just as right with God as we are because of Jesus .


our faith in Jesus ------subjective justification--- accomplished by The Holy spirit working through Gods word..-- Romans 10;17

faith in Jesus is Very IMPORTANT for a person BECAUSE ITS THE HAND THAT REACHES OUT AND RECEIVES the benefits Jesus won FOR ALL.

 

[fredconk]

WOW OUTSTANDING responses Thank YOU ALL !
You know ; ONLY because of Jesus Christ can I even pray sincerely for this guy . Last wednesday eve I knew I needed to ask for forgiveness and right off I knew I had to admit I have not really given this guy a fare shake . ( It is hard enough admitting it here ) When I first began this thread I had in my mind that I was going to say to God I am sorry please forgive me and I admit I have been wrong and will certainly try to do better from here on out , and leave it at that . I still mean that sincerely but now I am still a little confused because I do not know what I need to do now . Other than have a huge change of heart . I guess what I am saying is CAN I JUST have the change in my heart and mean it but not verbaly to anyone else ?
I sincerely do not believe he would know what I was talking about and furthermore I really am not in the mood to hear a sarcastic response .

 

[clark thompson]

Repentance can be a happy experience if we are happy that we will be closer to Jesus.

 

[Angelina]

I have split "John S" reply and created it as a topic of it's own because I think that it deserves further discussion. It also keeps this O/T on track.
http://www.christianityboard.com/topic/18607-split-from-does-repentance-always-require-a-full-tear-jerking-breakdown/

Blessings!

 

[fredconk]

Well thank you ALL again for your very insightful replies. Today at church I asked a friend in my SS class , he too replied rather quickly with a resounding NO it does not ALWAYS require a full breakdown .
You know at the moment he said that and after reading all the post here it hit me EXACTLY THAT ! I remember many times in fact many many times I would ( to me it meant repent ) as in asking forgiveness . For things like taking a second and sometimes a third look at a beautiful woman . I believe you may see an attractive woman and in your mind say something like wow she is pretty. But , IF you look / check her out again and again it is stepping on the threshold of lust . Therefore you must ( provided you want to strive to keep a clean mind ) seriously take a look at yourself and see where you are possibly heading. I had honestly forgotten about times like that when I posed this question . I guess I knew where my heart was and the unforgiving feelings I harbored is where my main problem lay . Again thank you all for your helpful comments and concerns .

Sincerely
Fredconk