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Featured Domestic Violence

Discussion in 'Ethics & Morality Forum' started by TLHKAJ, Sep 15, 2020.

  1. Taken

    Taken Well-Known Member

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    Already did.
    God wants people to be at peace.
    There is nothing specific in Scripture for an, ah-ha one liner.

    Individuals are accountable for their own Freewill decisions, and the Consequences for those decisions.

    Laws in the US provide a reprieve from abusive spouses.
    That is every spouses option...
    Not sure why that is a hot topic, it's not something new.

    Glory to God,
    Taken
     
  2. TLHKAJ

    TLHKAJ Well-Known Member

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    Man's law doesn't always line up with God's law. That's why we need this thread.
     
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  3. Taken

    Taken Well-Known Member

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    Marriage between a man and a woman...
    Is not Always Blessed by God...
    Because not every man and woman who enter into a marriage, are IN Christ, or marry under the Knowledge or understanding of Biblical Principles.

    So while man's laws do not always line up with Gods laws...neither do people.

    Marriage is a Trial run...for the big picture, of being Joined with Christ for life.

    Looking from a biblical Concept ... we all start out on the Left...some stay there a long time, make errors, make regretful decisions...
    And Jesus is there saying..."leave there" ...come to my way of RIGHTeousness.

    Glory to God,
    Taken
     
  4. farouk

    farouk Well-Known Member

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    @TLHKAJ Good always to search the Scriptures.
     
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  5. Enoch111

    Enoch111 Well-Known Member

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    And that should suffice. The issue is really a spiritual issue, and unless both husband and wife are genuine Christians, there will always be such issues. So how can this be addressed?

    1. All churches should urge their young people to have spiritual counseling BEFORE marriage, so that they avoid marriage partners who are of questionable character. And if people will wilfully ignore such advice, then they have already set themselves up for problems later on.

    2. All churches should have discipling programs so that every couple has a mature Christian watching over them. Problems within marriages should be addresssed at the outset.

    3. All women must honestly ask themselves if they are choosing to be victimized, since it would appear that many make the same mistake over and over again in this regard. There are also female abusers, so men must also ask themselves if they enjoy being victimized. All this should happen BEFORE marriage.

    4. There must be solid biblical teaching in the churches so that both men and women clearly understand their God-given roles in the home and in the local church. Feminism has tried to emasculate men, and evangelical feminism has tried to put women in roles that do not belong to them.
     
  6. DNB

    DNB Well-Known Member

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    No TLHKAJ, the Bible does not explicitly state what the obligations are of an abused spouse.
    But, neither does it prohibit smoking, driving too fast, walking too close to the edge of a cliff, eating junk food, or wearing a seat belt.
    God, in the beginning designed it that a man and woman will leave their parents, and become united into one. This is the entire objective of marriage.
    If someone is being abused, they should get out of that situation IMMEDIATELY and into a safe place where the threat is gone, and where they can at least make a decision not under coercion or duress. It is a no brainer, AVOID THE CONFLICT AND ABUSE at any cost. For clearly, God does not honour the institution of marriage over the life or well-being of a human created in his image, does he?

    Genesis 9:5-6
    9:5. "Surely I will require your lifeblood; from every beast I will require it. And from every man, from every man's brother I will require the life of man. 6. "Whoever sheds man's blood, By man his blood shall be shed, For in the image of God He made man.

    Don't be too self-righteous by trying to avoid the perceived guilt of divorce. For battering a person does neither victim nor culprit any good at all, also the scars take years to heal and affects not just the two immediate parties.

    Ecclesiastes 7:15-16
    7:15. I have seen everything during my lifetime of futility; there is a righteous man who perishes in his righteousness and there is a wicked man who prolongs his life in his wickedness. 16. Do not be excessively righteous and do not be overly wise. Why should you ruin yourself?

    Only if there is a wise enough person that can determine if the issue is resolvable, and that the abuse will stop, tell every battered person that you know to get out of that situation immediately, and then to ask questions later. What affects God more, a wedding ring or a corpse?

    Ecclesiastes 9:4-4
    9:4. For whoever is joined with all the living, there is hope; surely a live dog is better than a dead lion.
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2020
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  7. Enoch111

    Enoch111 Well-Known Member

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    True. And this is another aspect which should be honestly addressed. Those women who went whole hog for the #MeTooMovement knew exactly what they were getting into by associating with scumbags. No one forced them at gun point to go and party with predators.

    But they had their own selfish motives, and then exposed themselves to get male attention. Hollywood is all about how naked you can get, and get away with it. And let's not forget that Harvey Weinstein was everybody's darling (including hypocritical Oprah and Michelle Obama) until it became popular to attack him.
     
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  8. TLHKAJ

    TLHKAJ Well-Known Member

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    But honestly, this isn't about those women who make false accusations. This us about those women who are experiencing real domestic violence. I hope we can stay along that topic.
     
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  9. Mayflower

    Mayflower Well-Known Member

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    Ditto
     
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  10. Prayer Warrior

    Prayer Warrior Well-Known Member

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    Wow, Enoch, I think you totally missed the main point of the #MeTooMovement! It wasn't only about the experience of Hollywood actresses trying to make a name for themselves on the casting couch! I have no doubt that many women who came forward had been sexually abused as young children and were dealing with the shame of that abuse!
     
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2020
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  11. TLHKAJ

    TLHKAJ Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for this. I am.not really familiar with that movement. But what you said is true. Goodness, the huge majority of those who are in the entertainment industry are victims of SRA/MK. Of course, they've suffered sexual abuse and much much more.
     
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  12. charity

    charity Well-Known Member

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    Hello @TLHKAJ,

    Both men and women suffer domestic violence, and it is inexcusable.

    The perpetrator of it needs to seek help, in order to break the cycle of violence or abuse ( either physical or psychological ), discover it's root cause and seek help in solving it.

    I know of no Bible passages that deal with this: however, as a human being I would suggest that the one suffering it should seek advice, both medical and legal.

    If there is love there for the person perpetrating it, help for him/her should be sought: and a place of safety found for the victim(s), before it leads to long term trauma, severe injury or death.

    The children of such a relationship should be considered too, because of the psychological effect upon them, and the effect upon their future relationships.

    This is a criminal act: and this response of mine is simply common sense, which thankfully God gave us to use in such cases.

    Thank you
    In Christ Jesus
    Chris
     
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2020
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  13. TLHKAJ

    TLHKAJ Well-Known Member

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    I so appreciate everyone who has responded and given thoughts and heartfelt sentiments, and especially Scripture.
    This gives a lot for one to chew on and pray about. Every person's situation is different... there may be some commonalities, but there will also be aspects that are very unique to every situation and family dynamic. So that is why I specifically requested Scripture ... because when all is said and done, that is what is most important... to know what God says and follow it.

    Blessings,
    TLHKAJ
     
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  14. quietthinker

    quietthinker Well-Known Member

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    Don't abuse your wife, don't abuse your husband, don't abuse your children and don't abuse your animals.....that's the scriptural tenant.
     
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  15. Instant

    Instant New Member

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    There is no scripture that I am aware of that says that a man or woman who is suffering physical or mental abuse should leave their spouse. To me, there is no one size, fits all, answer to this question. There are different degrees of abuse. My personal feeling is that we should not be quick to leave our spouse. That should be a last resort. Divorce and re-marriage is only permitted Biblically if there is fornication involved, so if you are advising someone to leave because of domestic violence, they should understand this.

    I guess this is how I look at it. I would advise the couple to seek counseling first. If this does not work, or the one who is guilty of being abusive refuses counseling, and does not stop the abusive behavior, and this is at the level where the other person is winding up with serious injuries, or perhaps even the children are being harmed, I would advise separation, but not divorce. That is not because the Bible says this is the right course of action, but because it is a matter of self-preservation, and perhaps necessary to protect the children. The Bible tells the husband and wife how they are both supposed to behave in the marriage, but when one or both do not follow God's teachings, decisions must be made on what to do.
     
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  16. DNB

    DNB Well-Known Member

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    Very well said. I just think that you didn't stress separation enough, or at least regarded it as a last resort. I think once abuse enters a marriage, then the couple are not abiding by the principles of marriage as stated in Genesis 2:24, and therefore, are not necessarily bound to such an institution? Now, I don't mean to be frivolous about the sanctity of marriage and responsibilities. But, as equally as David and Jesus defied a capital crime by eating bread reserved for the priests, or breaking the Sabbath, respectively, it appears that it is less egregious to transgress a law for the sake of one's well being, than to uphold it simply on the rigid grounds that it is a precept.
    I quoted Ecclesiastes in a previous post: 'a live dog is better than a dead lion', or 'why die prematurely by being overly righteous' (paraphrased). Meaning, what affects God more, a wedding ring, or a corpse?
     
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  17. Enoch111

    Enoch111 Well-Known Member

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    If you are going to discuss a topic, then all factors should be taken into account. There are abusive and manipulative people within both sexes. There are also many (on both sides) who voluntarily choose to go into abusive situations. There are many who avoid, or refuse, pre-marital counseling. There are many who reject Christ, and reject Christ's teachings on relationships within the home and the church.

    In the end it all boils down to the sin question. Unless there is genuine repentance and genuine conversion, these issues cannot be resolved properly.
     
  18. TLHKAJ

    TLHKAJ Well-Known Member

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    I see what you're saying, but my original question was in regards to a very specific scenario involving real and actual ongoing physical trauma, domestic violence.

    Go ahead and discuss what you/all want. I think it has been adequate to this point to see what one should do from a Biblical standpoint.

    Thanks
     
  19. 101G

    101G Well-Known Member

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    two words, GET OUT,
    there is no guilt. God is a God of "LIFE", he can forgive anything. if one hit the other, you better believer another hit, or slap or even (the worst scenario) a shot is coming. Domestic Violence starts out small, and the next thing you know, you got the devil himself on your hands. I personally saw it myself.
    I place Domestic Violence in the same category as spiritual deception, you never see it coming until it's too late. and it's usually the victim who thinks she or he is believe that they did something wrong.

    as I said, I saw it for myself. I had an older sister who was in an abusive relationship. she called me to come and get her out of the home, I did, but warn her is she go back she's on her own. and she knew I ment it. sure enough, she returned to him, thinking it was for the children benefit to have both parents in the home. well the abuse happen again, well she didn't call me but got a taxie and GOT OUT AND NEVER WENT BACK. she though he would not do it again, she found out that she was wrong.

    but for some it too late, and that's the problem with Domestic Violence .... YOU. that's the spiritual deception, YOU.

    now if you want to save your marriage, fine, do it from long distance counseling.

    GET OUT NOW.



    PICJAG
    101G The "Spiritual Saboteur"
     
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  20. OzSpen

    OzSpen Well-Known Member

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    TLHKAJ,

    This is a practical and honest question. I consider there are some general principles in Scripture for us to follow.

    This is the biblical teaching on how husbands and wives should live together:

    In the same way, you wives should be willing to serve your husbands. Then, even those who have refused to accept God’s teaching will be persuaded to believe because of the way you live. You will not need to say anything. 2 Your husbands will see the pure lives that you live with respect for God. 3 It is not fancy hair, gold jewelry, or fine clothes that should make you beautiful. 4 No, your beauty should come from inside you—the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. That beauty will never disappear. It is worth very much to God.

    5 It was the same with the holy women who lived long ago and followed God. They made themselves beautiful in that same way. They were willing to serve their husbands. 6 I am talking about women like Sarah. She obeyed Abraham, her husband, and called him her master. And you women are true children of Sarah if you always do what is right and are not afraid.​

    7 In the same way, you husbands should live with your wives in an understanding way, since they are weaker than you. You should show them respect, because God gives them the same blessing he gives you—the grace of true life. Do this so that nothing will stop your prayers from being heard (1 Peter 3:1-7 ERV).​

    Jesus gives further instruction in Matt 20:26-28 (ERV):

    So Jesus called the followers together. He said, “You know that the rulers of the non-Jewish people love to show their power over the people. And their important leaders love to use all their authority over the people. 26 But it should not be that way with you. Whoever wants to be your leader must be your servant. 27 Whoever wants to be first must serve the rest of you like a slave. 28 Do as I did: The Son of Man did not come for people to serve him. He came to serve others and to give his life to save many people.” ​

    However, if emotional, physical and verbal abuse happens in the marriage, I consider that spouses should contact various DV helplines. In the USA it is the National Domestic Violence Hotline. In my home country of Australia, it is 1800RESPECT, i.e. 1 800 737 732

    Prior to my retirement, I was a family counsellor with a national organisation that has a 24/7 phone counselling service, Lifeline.

    See the article: What is the biblical perspective on domestic violence? | GotQuestions.org

    Oz
     
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