Domestic Violence

  • Welcome to Christian Forums, a Christian Forum that recognizes that all Christians are a work in progress.

    You will need to register to be able to join in fellowship with Christians all over the world.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!

101G

Well-Known Member
Jul 20, 2012
12,259
3,385
113
Mobile, Al.
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
You have the steps reversed as listed in scripture.
The Bill of Divorce was always primary and a requisite step before putting her away.

God had an issue with men following the second step without completion of the first step UNLESS she had committed adultery.
You have the steps reversed as listed in scripture.
The Bill of Divorce was always primary and a requisite step before putting her away.

God had an issue with men following the second step without completion of the first step UNLESS she had committed adultery.
thanks for the reply, but I don't believe so, it was men just putting away their wives without a bill of divorcement.

if you have some bible verse that show different please post them.

PICJAG.
101G The "Spiritual Saboteur"
 

TLHKAJ

Well-Known Member
Sep 12, 2020
6,973
8,499
113
US
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
to all christian who may be following this topic, this is a very important subject. many a christian are suffering in a dead marriage. if I may I would like to share some light on Marriage and divorce.

Marriage and divorce, both is a two step process. understand both will clear up a lot of confusion on this subject.

A. Marriage. the steps. 1. espouse marriage. 2. consummated marriage. each have it own rules and regulation to follow.

B. Divorce. the steps. 1. Putting away. 2. Bill of Divorcement. each have it own rules and regulation to follow.

understanding each steps, we can understand scripture better. example in a 1. espouse marriage, and infidelity is found, there is no need for a bill of Divorcement, but putting away if nessary, but by the innocent party part. for an espouse marriage is not complete until one have sexual intercourse with his or her spouse. which bring us to 2. a consummated marriage, or fully married. yes, to get out of this marriage one just cannot put away their spouse. but a bill of divorcement must be given.

knowing these few things we can understand the scripture better.


since divorce is the hot topic, then there I'll start first. one can put away a spouse, on certian condition, (but not on every whim), but if not given a 2. Bill of Divorcement, then one is still Married. that's why in, 1 Corinthians 7:11 "But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife." one can only reconciled to her husband, because they are still married. hence remain unmarried, hence (no adultery or foricination). for all marriage have problems. if its get heated, separate, or depart. but for only a little while. this is what we call cooling off period. and why the Lord said, "reconciled to her husband". little disputes are salvageable.

so if one just "Put away" without step 2. Bill of Divorcement, in a 2. consummated marriage they are stilled married. and if one marry again without that bill of Divorcement, then you're an adulterers, or as our brother James puts it, James 4:4a "Ye adulterers and adulteresses". until you have that 2. Bill of Divorcement, in a 2. consummated marriage or until one of you physically die, then you're still married.

that's just one area where these laws come into play in divorce.

but knowing these terms, one can navigate in the scriptures more clearly.

PICJAG.
101G The "Spiritual Saboteur"
I see what you're saying... so....
if she leaves, that scripture is saying she is then "unmarried." Yet, she still has a husband she may be reconciled to...so she is still married. Kinda confusing.
 

TLHKAJ

Well-Known Member
Sep 12, 2020
6,973
8,499
113
US
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
unbelieving have nothing to do with Domestic Violence, read your commentary on that verse. unbelieving is spiritual in nature, Domestic Violence is physical in nature. I don't think that qualify.

but thanks.

PICJAG.
101G The "Spiritual Saboteur"
Yes, but in some cases, both may be a factor ...an unbelieving husband who is abusive.
 

JohnDB

Well-Known Member
Feb 7, 2010
4,343
2,837
113
TN
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
thanks for the reply, but I don't believe so, it was men just putting away their wives without a bill of divorcement.

if you have some bible verse that show different please post them.

PICJAG.
101G The "Spiritual Saboteur"
Deuteronomy 24:1-3

Each is a separate step....
613 Laws...

Jesus said:
Matthew 5:31
 

101G

Well-Known Member
Jul 20, 2012
12,259
3,385
113
Mobile, Al.
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
I see what you're saying... so....
if she leaves, that scripture is saying she is then "unmarried." Yet, she still has a husband she may be reconciled to...so she is still married. Kinda confusing.
ok, let me walk you through this. 1 Corinthians 7:10 "And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:"
1 Corinthians 7:11 "But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife."

see if wife depart, it's not in a final stage. she is just separated. from her ... "husband", but still married. and what cause her to separate should be worked by by them, (because this is speaking to two Holy Ghost filled people). see this is not a Domestic Violence thing). but something that cause here to leave her spouse, but not her marriage. (but whatever the reason it can be overcomed, and this is no I just got upset with thing, ok).

apparently both still Love each other but whatever it was their Love can survive it. sometime it might take counseling, but whatever wnet wrong can be reparied, ok.

see, neither put each other away, only separated for a while. hence the reconciling. so you don't stay separated for ever.

PICJAG.
101G The "Spiritual Saboteur"
 
  • Like
Reactions: amadeus and TLHKAJ

TLHKAJ

Well-Known Member
Sep 12, 2020
6,973
8,499
113
US
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
@101G ...thank you for your patience. I'm still not sure why she is called "unmarried" when she only separated. (It is stated in that verse ..."let her remain unmarried.") I guess it just means that she is not to take another husband. The wording is still confusing.
 

dev553344

Well-Known Member
Jul 14, 2020
14,476
17,040
113
USA
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
Does the Bible specifically give any rights to women/wives who are experiencing domestic violence?
I know a lot of people will give their opinions that a woman should leave in such cases. But is that supported Scripturally?

What advice can you give based upon the Word of God?

I'm fine with people sharing what a husband's duty is toward his wife. But that isn't the question here, because in the case of domestic violence, he obviously isn't holding up to his Biblical responsibility.

I thought you might be able to work something out from this passage regarding the behavior of women and the effect on men: (Proverbs 25:24) "It is better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.". Perhaps this can be applied to the abusive relationship.

I would be careful to apply to abusive relationships, which can become lethal (my family are police, and the domestic violence calls are some of the most dangerous. I was told of an account of a police officer shot thru the door with a shotgun after being called to the scene of domestic violence). That said, if you're in an abusive relationship it's best to secretly get professional help.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Nancy and TLHKAJ

JohnDB

Well-Known Member
Feb 7, 2010
4,343
2,837
113
TN
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
I would be careful to apply to abusive relationships, which can become lethal (my family are police, and the domestic violence calls are some of the most dangerous. I was told of an account of a police officer shot thru the door with a shotgun after being called to the scene of domestic violence). That said, if you're in an abusive relationship it's best to secretly get professional help.

You are definitely not wrong here.
An abuser that is not stopped will escalate their abuse...as told to me by a police detective that specialized in domestic abuse investigations.
 

101G

Well-Known Member
Jul 20, 2012
12,259
3,385
113
Mobile, Al.
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
Deuteronomy 24:1-3

Each is a separate step....
613 Laws...

Jesus said:
Matthew 5:31
this is what I have said, listen, Deuteronomy 24:1 "When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house."
Deuteronomy 24:2 "And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife."

this is what the Lord Jesus said, listen, Matthew 19:3 "The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?"
Matthew 19:4 "And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,"
Matthew 19:5 "And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?"
Matthew 19:6 "Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."

now listen carefully to the next verses,

Matthew 19:7 "They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?"
Matthew 19:8 "He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so."
Matthew 19:9 "And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery."

did you understand. see men was putting away their wives for any reason. just sending, or PUTTING her away for any reason. well God put a stop to that. if a man wanted to get rid of his wife, well now he going to have to compensate her. for the man own every thing, and she owned nothing. so now if he wanted to get rid of his wife for any and every casuse, now he's going to have to compensate her.

and also with this bill of Divorcement, she is now "legally" to freely marry again. see before it was "DEATH" the only way to get out of the marriage. God is not the God of the dead then, but it's a long story in this thing. but you can see why now a spouse need a bill of Divorcement to "LAWFULLY" marry again. this is her proof. just putting way was no legal, nor fair.

as the Lord said, Moses "commanded" to give a writing of divorcement. which was the right and just thing to do.

PICJAG.
101G The "Spiritual Saboteur"
 

101G

Well-Known Member
Jul 20, 2012
12,259
3,385
113
Mobile, Al.
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
@101G ...thank you for your patience. I'm still not sure why she is called "unmarried" when she only separated. (It is stated in that verse ..."let her remain unmarried.") I guess it just means that she is not to take another husband. The wording is still confusing.
thanks for the reply. sure, unmarried means to no other man, that's all. read your commentaries on said verse ok.

other words she is not looking for another husband while still marriued... ok. and again thanks for the question. this is why we have this
Forums, to ask question, and to get understanding and to share views. not confrontations. I thank you for asking.


PICJAG.
101G The "Spiritual Saboteur"
 
  • Like
Reactions: amadeus

101G

Well-Known Member
Jul 20, 2012
12,259
3,385
113
Mobile, Al.
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
Yes, but in some cases, both may be a factor ...an unbelieving husband who is abusive.
well if he's abusive that's your out. please listen to me, if a man puts his hands on a woman in violence, GET OUT... LEAVE. and on the other hand ... (smile)... if a woman puts her hand on a man in violence, GET OUT... LEAVE.

your life is more important than a broken marriage.

PICJAG.
101G The "Spiritual Saboteur"
 
  • Like
Reactions: amadeus

Enoch111

Well-Known Member
May 27, 2018
17,688
15,996
113
Alberta
Faith
Christian
Country
Canada
Does the Bible specifically give any rights to women/wives who are experiencing domestic violence?
Domestic -- or any other violence -- is condemned.

The LORD trieth the righteous: but the wicked and him that loveth violence his soul hateth. (Psalm 11:5)

'Nuff said.
 
  • Like
Reactions: amadeus and TLHKAJ

101G

Well-Known Member
Jul 20, 2012
12,259
3,385
113
Mobile, Al.
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
Domestic -- or any other violence -- is condemned.

The LORD trieth the righteous: but the wicked and him that loveth violence his soul hateth. (Psalm 11:5)

'Nuff said.
for the first time you get a amen on that... (smile).

PICJAG.
101G The "Spiritual Saboteur"
 
  • Like
Reactions: amadeus and TLHKAJ

TLHKAJ

Well-Known Member
Sep 12, 2020
6,973
8,499
113
US
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
Domestic -- or any other violence -- is condemned.

The LORD trieth the righteous: but the wicked and him that loveth violence his soul hateth. (Psalm 11:5)

'Nuff said.
Yes, I agree. But ....the solution isn't cut and dry...except we've established that she is permitted to separate until/unless they are reconciled or he dies. Or if he is unbelieving and puts her away....
 

JohnDB

Well-Known Member
Feb 7, 2010
4,343
2,837
113
TN
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
this is what I have said, listen, Deuteronomy 24:1 "When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house."
Deuteronomy 24:2 "And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife."

this is what the Lord Jesus said, listen, Matthew 19:3 "The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?"
Matthew 19:4 "And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,"
Matthew 19:5 "And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?"
Matthew 19:6 "Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."

now listen carefully to the next verses,

Matthew 19:7 "They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?"
Matthew 19:8 "He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so."
Matthew 19:9 "And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery."

did you understand. see men was putting away their wives for any reason. just sending, or PUTTING her away for any reason. well God put a stop to that. if a man wanted to get rid of his wife, well now he going to have to compensate her. for the man own every thing, and she owned nothing. so now if he wanted to get rid of his wife for any and every casuse, now he's going to have to compensate her.

and also with this bill of Divorcement, she is now "legally" to freely marry again. see before it was "DEATH" the only way to get out of the marriage. God is not the God of the dead then, but it's a long story in this thing. but you can see why now a spouse need a bill of Divorcement to "LAWFULLY" marry again. this is her proof. just putting way was no legal, nor fair.

as the Lord said, Moses "commanded" to give a writing of divorcement. which was the right and just thing to do.

PICJAG.
101G The "Spiritual Saboteur"

Look....
We probably aren't going to agree...
I'm making statements for what was true, with history and anthropology thrown in.

I know that most don't like what I believe.

I'm not going to change.

But...

What I do know is that adultery carried the death penalty. (Obviously we shouldn't do it today)
If you forgive a spouse for infidelity... well that's a good thing. Whether that forgiveness extends to being able to remain married is another story. Some people just can't do it. I'm not going to judge them and I recommend that you not do so either....but your mileage may vary.

During the period of when scriptures were written people had several options for adultery that weren't generally known. They could forgive or not...and the repercussions were various. From nuclear to slow torture. If the adultery was known by everyone then the options were very limited and usually involved death.

The scriptures have guidelines...they can be applied to us today and in a lot of scenarios...but there's no blanket rule when it comes time for failed relationships. It's a very difficult time for everyone involved. One I don't wish on even my worst enemy. My heart goes out to those even contemplating such things...it's very painful but sometimes necessary for one of them to live.

Where it's possible to find a new spouse after being divorced today...it's also more likely that the new relationship will end in failure and a renewed sense of worthlessness. One failed relationship is a mistake...two is definitely a pattern...three should remove any doubt that you can ever have a successful relationship...and the trail of wrecked lives behind you should scare you from ever trying again.

It's not a sin to remarry. It's just very very risky. I wouldn't take a vaccine if it only had a 34% chance of working.
 

FollowHim

Well-Known Member
Aug 22, 2019
2,171
1,047
113
64
London
Faith
Christian
Country
United Kingdom
Does the Bible specifically give any rights to women/wives who are experiencing domestic violence?
I know a lot of people will give their opinions that a woman should leave in such cases. But is that supported Scripturally?

What advice can you give based upon the Word of God?

I'm fine with people sharing what a husband's duty is toward his wife. But that isn't the question here, because in the case of domestic violence, he obviously isn't holding up to his Biblical responsibility.

I would classify domestic violence equivalent to adultery.
In a society where people live isolated couple groups, with no witnesses and observation by other family members, partners can get away with violence and abuse. In a society where multiple generations lived in the same accomodation, a lot simply could not be done or got away with.
It is the problem of the wealth of society and its fragmentation.

Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.
1 John 4:20

Put simply no believer can abuse their spouse. By doing this they show they do not know God.

Paul suggests it is fine for a believer to divorce their unbelieving partner, because it is better to be single than bound to the kingdom of this world.

But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.
1 Cor 7:15

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
2 Cor 6:14
 

Taken

Well-Known Member
Staff member
Encounter Team
Feb 6, 2018
24,507
12,924
113
United States
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
unbelieving have nothing to do with Domestic Violence, read your commentary on that verse. unbelieving is spiritual in nature, Domestic Violence is physical in nature. I don't think that qualify.

but thanks.

PICJAG.
101G The "Spiritual Saboteur"

I get your point.
However...
If a man loved his wife EVEN AS Christ loved the church...
There would be no abuse.

Abuse without Facts is IMO overrated.
Some females Instigate, Lie, exaggerate, and certainly some cases are valid.

Scripture speaks of Trespassing against others and others Trespassing against them,
And what to do about it.
Address the individual, ones Church, ones own jurisdictional Law.

Recourse should always be what is Right.

Glory to God,
Taken
 

101G

Well-Known Member
Jul 20, 2012
12,259
3,385
113
Mobile, Al.
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
Look....
We probably aren't going to agree...
I'm making statements for what was true, with history and anthropology thrown in.

I know that most don't like what I believe.

I'm not going to change.

But...

What I do know is that adultery carried the death penalty. (Obviously we shouldn't do it today)
If you forgive a spouse for infidelity... well that's a good thing. Whether that forgiveness extends to being able to remain married is another story. Some people just can't do it. I'm not going to judge them and I recommend that you not do so either....but your mileage may vary.

During the period of when scriptures were written people had several options for adultery that weren't generally known. They could forgive or not...and the repercussions were various. From nuclear to slow torture. If the adultery was known by everyone then the options were very limited and usually involved death.

The scriptures have guidelines...they can be applied to us today and in a lot of scenarios...but there's no blanket rule when it comes time for failed relationships. It's a very difficult time for everyone involved. One I don't wish on even my worst enemy. My heart goes out to those even contemplating such things...it's very painful but sometimes necessary for one of them to live.

Where it's possible to find a new spouse after being divorced today...it's also more likely that the new relationship will end in failure and a renewed sense of worthlessness. One failed relationship is a mistake...two is definitely a pattern...three should remove any doubt that you can ever have a successful relationship...and the trail of wrecked lives behind you should scare you from ever trying again.

It's not a sin to remarry. It's just very very risky. I wouldn't take a vaccine if it only had a 34% chance of working.
thanks for the reply, don't jump the gun to soon. we might just agree on many things. I believe men and women can remarry.
but it is something you said caught my attention.
During the period of when scriptures were written people had several options for adultery that weren't generally known. They could forgive or not...and the repercussions were various. From nuclear to slow torture. If the adultery was known by everyone then the options were very limited and usually involved death.
first thanks for the reply, secondly, true, then, as well as now, but if we don't forgive, our heavenly Father want forgtive us. but as said, it depended on the injured party. just as was with Joseph and Mary. Matthew 1:18 "Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost."
Matthew 1:19 "Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily."

in these two verses alone there is a ton to gleen, just on marriage, and type, and divorce and type. but notice this man Joseph, before the angel intervene, he was going to put her away privately, not divorce with a bill of divorcement. what a just man.

PICJAG
101G The "Spiritual Saboteur"
 
  • Like
Reactions: JohnDB

101G

Well-Known Member
Jul 20, 2012
12,259
3,385
113
Mobile, Al.
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
I get your point.
However...
If a man loved his wife EVEN AS Christ loved the church...
There would be no abuse.

I read you loud and clear, I agree 100%.

this is a good topic for discussion.

thank Taken

PICJAG
101G The "Spiritual Saboteur"
 
  • Like
Reactions: Taken

TLHKAJ

Well-Known Member
Sep 12, 2020
6,973
8,499
113
US
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
I get your point.
However...
If a man loved his wife EVEN AS Christ loved the church...
There would be no abuse.

Abuse without Facts is IMO overrated.
Some females Instigate, Lie, exaggerate, and certainly some cases are valid.

Scripture speaks of Trespassing against others and others Trespassing against them,
And what to do about it.
Address the individual, ones Church, ones own jurisdictional Law.

Recourse should always be what is Right.

Glory to God,
Taken
Fabrication, lying, and instigating are not the question here. A woman who may be reading this thread, knowing in her heart that she is telling the truth, needs good sound Biblical advice. Can you move past the notion that most women are lying about DV, and offer some Biblical advice for women in such situations?