Feeling pretty under attack today

[Truman]

I'm having a little bit of an emotional breakdown because I was getting messages today from someone that seemed like something was really wrong, so I had a minor panic attack and asked if I should be worried because it was giving me anxiety and I was trying to do good at working on stuff, and a FLOOD of messages came back about how horrible and selfish I am for having a panic attack.

I was trying to work on stuff today and doing well, but basically there's a lot of verbal abuse and gaslighting in my life. Sorry, I know that's excessive but I am very upset right now and not handling it very well.

This is the first time sharing it with other believers and I'm nervous about it.

I just remembered way back in 1994 when I first entered recovery, by that I mean I started attending 12-step meetings. A.A., N.A.
I went through a 28-day recovery house program (Holmes House, in Simcoe, Ontario), that taught me about addiction.
One thing I can't stress enough is the need for 12-step groups to stay outside of denominational control.
Otherwise, people may die.
The 12 steps come from the bible, though some will deny that.
Look into the Oxford Group.
Anyway, I remember one day when I decided to pull up out of me my problems so I could deal with them.
Whoa! Big mistake. I almost lost it!
My prayer became:
"Thank You, Lord, for today.
I put my life and my will in Your hands, asking only for knowledge of Your will for me today and for the power to carry it out.
I ask this in Jesus' name, amen."
The blessing is in serving. We keep what we have by giving it away.
I'm not saying you have a substance abuse problem; we all have a sin problem and the same biblical principals apply throughout.
Remember, "Easy does it."
Love yourself, treat yourself the way Jesus treats you.

Matthew 12:20, Isaiah 42:3 NIV

 

[VictoryinJesus]

Wow... That's really a post, Victory. I'm sorry to read this.

No way am I gonna give much advice here. You weren't even posting this to me. Just thought I'd say that fighting needs to be kept to a minimum, but at least you are real with each other, and that keeps the door open to healing if you can see each other in a new light. I need to pray for your husband, that he can be the best man possible for you. I honestly don't know what I would do if I were in his shoes, but it certainly can't be easy for either of you going through those things.

But it says to think on positive things, so that should be your focus as often as possible. Sounds like maybe your anxiety attacks aren't as bad as they used to be at least.

thank you for “no way am I going to give advice here”. Hardest part is knowing if I’m insane. Been thinking about prayer and prophecy...can prayer be prophetic if it comes to pass? Like the cries in the psalms where God heard and answered and it came to pass? What if God is telling me He will and can restore our marriage? Honestly there is so much past (thirty years)and both of us hurt. So much so I don’t see how we could ever fully love one another with all that wreckage that is behind. But I love Christ. My husband Loves Christ. Can we then love each other as we love Christ. It is possible. Every day all that wreckage says “no way” but the Love we have for Him and the newness He speaks of says: as we love Him; we can also love one other. Even though it doesn’t appear to be so, it is possible.

 

[DuckieLady]

thank you for “no way am I going to give advice here”. Hardest part is knowing if I’m insane. Been thinking about prayer and prophecy...can prayer be prophetic if it comes to pass? Like the cries in the psalms where God heard and answered and it came to pass? What if God is telling me He will and can restore our marriage? Honestly there is so much past (thirty years)and both of us hurt. So much so I don’t see how we could ever fully love one another with all that wreckage that is behind. But I love Christ. My husband Loves Christ. Can we then love each other as we love Christ. It is possible. Every day all that wreckage says “no way” but the Love we have for Him and the newness He speaks of says: as we love Him; we can also love one other. Even though it doesn’t appear to be so, it is possible.

I think sometimes marriage counseling is necessary... You explained the difficulties communicating and it sounds like you guys just need a mediator. There isn't any sense in going alone if you don't have to and it sounds like you're so worn down that you need the help carrying the load.

Would be worth emailing some churches in your area and seeing what your options are.

 

[Hidden In Him]

Been thinking about prayer and prophecy...can prayer be prophetic if it comes to pass? Like the cries in the psalms where God heard and answered and it came to pass?

In a sense, yes. By the Spirit of God, our prayers can often be guided, and this results in praying for His will to be done. It's actually what Jesus was teaching when He talked about, "If a man says to this fig tree/ mountain... and believes in his heart, it shall be done unto him." Same principle. True Christian prayer is prayer guided by the Spirit of God, for "If we ask anything according to His will, we know that He hears us."

What if God is telling me He will and can restore our marriage? Honestly there is so much past (thirty years)and both of us hurt.

Yes, Ma'am. What it will take is an increased amount of the Spirit of faith welling up inside you, which comes through time spent in the Spirit; in the word, in prayer, in worship. What your eyes and ears will likely keep telling you is, "There's no way. He's still the same, and he can't change. I'm still the same, too." The Spirit of God knows no limit to His power, however, and He will see beyond the natural. He will keep believing in His power to change things for the better.

You've made it this far, so keep walking with the God who saves. Give yourself more and more to prayer as you study the word, and let Him guide you in what you pray and where you look. The secret to directed prayer is in hearing Him speak first, and then agreeing with it in prayer.

Hope that helps.

One thing I will also say is that it is extremely important to look on any positives - on whatever is of good report, as the scripture says - and not on all the negatives. It is about having faith and hope, and that also comes by focusing on the good that is happening, and leaving the bad alone in your thought life. Try to "figure things out" less (i.e. the problems, which will result in worry), and just focus on God's power to save you, and on any positive things you see happening in you or in him.

God bless, and remember how much He loves you. I almost signed off with "Love you," but then I realized that's coming from Him. But He will not overlook how much you had to overcome, and there will be greater reward to someone who had real struggles in life if they continued walking in faith towards God regardless. And THAT is a positive you can always be thinking about.