Honoring your father and mother no matter what is dumb
- Thread starter EternalTwin
- Start date
-
Welcome to Christian Forums, a Christian Forum that recognizes that all Christians are a work in progress.
You will need to register to be able to join in fellowship with Christians all over the world.
We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!
To honor does not necessarily mean to respect.
It means to TREAT them with respect.
We could do this even to someone for whom we have NO RESPECT.
Let's say you don't respect a parent.
Now a neighbor is saying something mean about that parent.
To honor them means to stand up for them and not to join in in speaking badly about the parent.
You may not even respect that parent, but you have just honored him/her.
Of course, it would be nice to respect them.
But respect must be earned and not demanded.
VictoryinJesus
Well-Known Member
- Jan 26, 2017
- 9,669
- 7,924
- 113
- Faith
- Christian
- Country
- United States
God is teaching man through the commandment:
Exodus 20:12
[12] Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.
Genesis 17:5-8 KJV
[5] Neither shall thy name any more be called Abram, but thy name shall be Abraham; for a father of many nations have I made thee. [6] And I will make thee exceeding fruitful, and I will make nations of thee, and kings shall come out of thee. [7] And I will establish my covenant between me and thee and thy seed after thee in their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be a God unto thee, and to thy seed after thee. [8] And I will give unto thee, and to thy seed after thee, the land wherein thou art a stranger, all the land of Canaan, for an everlasting possession; and I will be their God.
Who is our Father?
Ephesians 6:2-3
[2] Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise [3] That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
Galatians 4:26
[26] But Jerusalem which is above is free, which is the mother of us all.
Who is our Mother?
Would you agree or disagree that we are to Honour our Father in Heaven and Jerusalem above? which comes with promise: And I will give unto thee, and to thy seed after thee, the land wherein thou art a stranger, all the land of Canaan, for an everlasting possession; and I will be their God.
Matthew 7:21
[21] Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
Matthew 12:49-50
[49] And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren! [50] For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.
The Fathers will is that the children of the Kingdom: honor their Father in Heaven and do His will and honor the Jerusalem above.
Matthew 15:4-8
[4] For God commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death. [5] But ye say, Whosoever shall say to his father or his mother, It is a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; [6] And honour not his father or his mother, he shall be free . Thus have ye made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition. [7] Ye hypocrites, well did Esaias prophesy of you, saying, [8] This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me.
Because a parent that doesn't give respect doesn't deserve honor. Who cares what the neighbor said.
What i'm saying is God NEVER told us to honor our parents EVEN WHEN THEY'RE WRONG.
VictoryinJesus
Well-Known Member
- Jan 26, 2017
- 9,669
- 7,924
- 113
- Faith
- Christian
- Country
- United States
How often are earthly parents NOT wrong? They scar, damage, mess-up, confuse, and pass on all kinds of negative qualities...but they do the best they can. Most of them. I was attempting to share with you, WHY it is not dumb to honour our parents even when they wrong. We don't "honour" them because they deserve it.
I agree with Godgrace. It doesn't mean we accept their wrongs or approve. And sometimes we have to love and forgive them from a far. It is more of a heart condition.
Before you possibly assume it is easy for me to say because I have no idea why this topic is the one you posted: at the age of forty I found out the man I was told was my father my entire life, was not my father. My biological father passed a year or so before I found out about him. I have been told by my mother even to this day, he wanted nothing to do with me because I am a "bastard child". My mother still tells me I had no right to know and I should have never been told, and she should have had the right to carry the lie to her grave. Her words not mine. She is selfish and blind. Cold and callous. But I love her. In all the ways my parents might have failed they got something right; their failures sent me searching for the One that doesn't fail. We honour and forgive because it is what our Heavenly Father tells us to do. Not because they deserve it.
Last edited:
Helen
Well-Known Member
- Oct 22, 2011
- 15,476
- 21,157
- 113
- Faith
- Christian
- Country
- Canada
@VictoryinJesus thank you for your post. And thank you for sharing your heart with us.
I'm sorry that happened. I to deal with a mother that's somewhat like that and she can say some hurtful things at times. I love her but for as long as she's like that I cannot respect her.
Brock, I have struggled with this commandment- not for myself. Oh I have issues with my dad, and sometimes it is hard to respect what he says and has done but I have come to realise that no one is perfect and I do have love for him. He is now 87 and I am his carer, so I let many things go over my head, I do not respect his attitudes at times.
However I have often wondered how children cope with this verse when they have been sexually abused by their fathers, or beaten ect.
I have never really been able to figure that one out - it has always raised questions in my mind and I have been a Christian for nearly About 35 years.
Now it doesn't mean I do not think the commandments are not relevant, or untrue, ect but I just convey that in all honesty I too struggle to understand how some are able to comply to it.
Thank goodness we have a God who understands and knows everything about us, and is equally able to understand our doubts and questions about things.
I am very grateful that I have the respect of all my four children - but I am sure when they were teenagers they had completely different views about me as a mum
Butterfly
However I have often wondered how children cope with this verse when they have been sexually abused by their fathers, or beaten ect.
I have never really been able to figure that one out - it has always raised questions in my mind and I have been a Christian for nearly About 35 years.
Now it doesn't mean I do not think the commandments are not relevant, or untrue, ect but I just convey that in all honesty I too struggle to understand how some are able to comply to it.
Thank goodness we have a God who understands and knows everything about us, and is equally able to understand our doubts and questions about things.
I am very grateful that I have the respect of all my four children - but I am sure when they were teenagers they had completely different views about me as a mum
Butterfly
What neighbor??
It was an example!
A parent that does not give you respect is making a mistake.
So...do two wrongs make a right?
You TRY to give respect back, and see what happens.
DO AN EXPERIMENT.
DO IT.
Brock...
The commandment is
HONOR YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR FATHER.
It does NOT give any conditions.
You are to honor them no matter what...
Ditto for my father. He was not the best of dads but he did the best he could given the circumstances.
When we compare our parents to Father Knows Best, they all fall short.
TV is very unrealistic and this is what many teens expect from their parents --- an unrealistic relationship.
Besides being a mother and a father, parents are also humans. Kids don't realize this till they're a lot older.
My father passed away at the age of 87. He had alzheimer's and died of that so you could imagine. I took care of him in my home till the end. I became also his nurse, learning how to care for him so he could stay at home.
I may have respected him very little when I was a teen, but I honored him in the end.
We should all honor our parents and the life they gave up for us...
even if we DO NOT respect them.
So sorry about your dad, I work on a demencia floor of a care home - I can only imagine how hard it must have been for you. I am grateful that my dad does not show signs of the illness. He has other health issues X
Agree with what you have said, my dad knows little of how I feel about some of his choices. It was hard when my mum died and he went back to the lady he had an affair with within two months. I found myself pulled between doing the right thing and wanting to let rip. I knew in my heart that I had to be one thing to my dad and share the pain with God- it's paid off.
I do not think that it is dishonourable to be open and honest if our parents do not act in a good way, I do think we can challenge them. I know when mine were teenagers, especially with my eldest son, we would both want the last word - the arguments were awful !
Butterfly
VictoryinJesus
Well-Known Member
- Jan 26, 2017
- 9,669
- 7,924
- 113
- Faith
- Christian
- Country
- United States
I completely a hundred percent believe God answers our prayers, even when time seems to say otherwise. Is your mother saved? You don't have to answer but consider it. Would she hurt you so if she had any insight. God gives us insight. Because of God, I am able to see the truth that my mother has always searched for love in all the wrong places and has never experienced real love which only God can give. My biological Father passed never conquering alcoholism or coming to terms with the truth that, he also was a bastard child. Those that don't know God seriously know no other way. My mother mocks my relationship with God, even when I tell her it was My Heavenly Father that decided when I could handle the truth coming out. That He did what was good for me when I needed it. I am able to take my mother's comments and bitterness because God has clearly shown me it all stems from the lack of Him.
So, don't assume an almighty God has lost control of how you are treated. Please don't assume He does not care. Don't assume He is not using how YOU honor Him by doing one of the most difficult things for you to do. Even if it makes no sense whatsoever, He IS God and sees and knows what you do to honor Him...even if it doesn't give you the results you want. I have had prayers that took ten years to be answered. God began working on those prayers when I asked them. And here's the kicker...I have only had a relationship, a real committed relationship with Him for a few years. Before that there was no relationship, only a handful of mumbled prayers when I needed something fixed. He has answered those half-hearted mumbled prayers from a decade ago. God was working when I did not even know who He is. And He is working all things for your good also, for His plan and will for you.
Something else that has greatly helped me get past hurtful things. Think of all the diversity of species God has created: all that is in the ocean, all the weird looking birds, the monkeys with hairless butts(those make me laugh)...this God, Creator of all diversity, the ONE true living God...He knows YOU. HE cares about YOU and loves YOU, and approves of you, and not for one second is He going to ask you to do something that is "dumb". He knows what we don't know(which is a lot). Really think about who He is, and who we belong to. So what if others say or do hurtful things to us...it becomes minor in light of Him.
I have to add: what is it to be a child of God? Isn't the "overcoming" in offering love where it is not deserved? Isn't that the action of God that changed everything in: He offered love to the undeserving.
Which is all.
Last edited:
Similar threads
