You don't understand my atheism. I simply have a lack of belief in the mainstream versions of God. I definitely haven't ruled out that a God exists or existed at some point, I just haven't enough evidence to back up my thoughts on that.
As I've said before, a God who wants a personal relationship with me should be able to convince me with facts, I shouldn't need faith at all.
Someone in another post, pointed out that we haven't yet found life existing anywhere else other than on this planet, and that somehow makes us special, maybe the conditions for life to exist happened by chance, maybe they were created? Looking at the evidence on how long it took mankind to emerge, I have the opinion that we are not particularly special, we are just getting a chance to survive like every other species that's lived and died.