Hi Tom, This is a problem many folks go through and the only way to defeat it is with spiritual warfare. The attacks by satan are only going to get worse for all christians across the board. How you pray is the deciding factor. If we just pray for it to go away, it is unlikely it will be successful. We have to actively assert the authority Christ gave us and pray the Word! Find bible verses that speak to your specific situation. For instance you mentioned feelings of self-hate. You can use verses that tell you you're a child of God, that you are an heir and a king and priest in God's kingdom and speak them to the devil directly. Use this verse to tell satan that I have submitted myself unto God, I resist you satan in the name of Jesus and God's word says YOU MUST FLEE!!
Familiarize yourself with the armor of God as found in Eph. 6:10-18. Here are two example prayers for spiritual warfare. The first is a prayer of the armor.
Prayer of the Armor
I am to be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. It is written greater is He that is in me then he that is in the world, I am more then a conqueror through Jesus Christ my Lord and I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I am to put on the belt of Truth. Jesus said, “I am the way the truth and the light, no one comes to the Father except by me. It is written, I will know the truth and the truth will set me free. I put on the breastplate of righteousness, for it is written that the prayers of a righteous man avails much and the righteous are as bold as lions and that I should be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith.
I put on the sandals of the gospel of peace as it is written how beautiful are the feet of him who brings the good news of the gospel and Jesus said to “Go ye therefore, and teach all nations,…Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, Lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. “ Above all I take the shield of faith as it is written the just shall live by faith and faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen and I am to live by faith, walk by faith, pray by faith, resist evil by faith, overcome the world by faith until I finally die in my faith. Next I am to put on my helmet of salvation as it is written I am saved by grace not of works lest any man should boast. I am to work out my salvation and rejoice that I was appointed unto salvation and shall not suffer His wrath. Finally, I take the sword of the spirit which is the word of God. I am to stand in awe of His word, search the word, speak boldly the word, preach the word, glorify the word, obey the word and be willing to suffer for the word. Amen!
The second is an example prayer for alcoholism but you can change the words to adapt to your specific situation.
Heavenly Father, I just want to praise and worship you. I praise you for all the mercies you have shown me and for all the times you have forgiven me. I worship you because you are the Creator of this beautiful world we live on and because you offered up your Son as a sacrifice for my sinfulness. Lord I repent of the sins I have committed, especially all the drinking I have been doing and I ask that you forgive me for my weaknesses. Lord, I pray that you’ll help me to stay sober, one day at a time and that every day you’ll help me to be an overcomer in this area. Father God, I ask for the Holy Spirit’s help and assistance as I wage a spiritual warfare against the demons that torment me. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth and by the authority He has given me I come against and bind the spirits of alcoholism, drunkenness, and partying. I loose upon myself the blessings of soberness, peace and a sound mind. I rebuke these spirits and command them to never darken the door of my heart again for I have submitted myself unto God and I resist you demons in the name of Jesus Christ, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. I command that you get out of my life and be cast into the places where the Lord Jesus sends you. Heavenly Father, I thank you for the release from this habit and in faith I believe I am an overcomer of alcoholism. I thank you for the victories that have been brought forth this day and I thank you for the armor that you have provided to help me continue with the battles of sin in my life. Lord, I pray for boldness so that I may share all that you have done for me with others that have been suffering with this condition. Victory is mine and You, Jesus are the truth and by faith the truth has set me free. Amen!
It's important to try and utilize all the adjectives you can for your specific situation. For example say you had a problem with stealing. Then you name the demons of robbery, stealing, theft, dishonesty, lying, etc. and command them, don't ask, to get out of your life.
The deliverance probably won't happen over night. You have to persevere, keep standing on the verses you find, be strong in faith and victory will come! Welcome to the fight brother and stand strong!