i am cursed...

[lilygrace]

i was never the type of girl who prayed for a husband since she was young.
i did say i was going to stay pure at camp.
i was interested in an older teenager boy when i was 12 years old. it was jsut a crush no tears shed.
i liked a pastor's son when i was 16 years old... he seemed like he liked me. nothing came of this of course and i liked someone i met at the youth group camp that he did not attend.
i was sad that he didnt go but then met someone else who seemed like a nice young man. he was one of the camp counselors and got me medical help when i got ill.
i never saw him again but i ...... was a teenage girl i felt in love.

i was in a relationship with two different men that i wasnt really that interested in.
it would have been inappropriat efor a male counselor to take my phone number....

i also heard of the pastor's wife saying she had no respect and did not care for my father.

i was never the person who just went looking for men to be with. i got to know people.
my problem was falling into some sexual abuse as an adult and i talked to a pedophile after i never was in a church again as a teenager. i was so lonely. i knew i would never see the youth group again...
i am interested in someone now but i feel very broken now.... there are details about that but i might more say that in pm i guess?

 

[lilygrace]

i came home from a christian mission i stayed at and a man from there sent me a friend request and said we met we just werent allowed to talk.
he sent me memes of Jesus with a little girl holding her hand and huging a girl.
it made me feel uncomfortable. and he sent me memes that clearlyf elt like flirting and a woman putting on lipstick similar to 50s pop art style....
i blocked him..
he created another account to talk to me.
was i just choosy?