The following is not some theory. I actually did it and it worked for me.
- Study hard. Work hard.
- Save money. Don't indulge yourself except on special occasions.
- Seek God's kingdom first. Find a home church. Participate in the programs that you enjoy.
- Keep fit. Exercise regularly. Run a marathon. I ran a few. That was how I tried to deal with the sexual urges: redirection and marathons.
- I attended church every Sunday, morning and evening. Attended IVCF every Thursday; Overseas Chinese Christian Association every Friday; plus other Christian programs, Bible study groups, retreats, outreaches, etc.
- When did I start dating? When I was 25 years old, I thought I was ready. I had $6,000 (1985 CAD) in my bank account. I thought I could get my PhD degree, no problem. Basically, I thought I had the money and the spare time from my work and study. The very first time in my life when I asked a girl out, she said yes
I didn't marry this one. A few years later, I met another girl who became my wife. She is the only woman that I have ever kissed. - Godly women are attracted to a Christian man like that. Don't chase them but let them come to you. When a woman shows interest in you, take the initiative and ask her out if you are interested in her.
- How important is a woman's virginity? To me, it was a must but it is up to you. Lady Diana was a virgin when she married. But then, she had an affair with the art dealer Oliver Hoare while being the husband of Prince Charles.
- How important is physical attraction? That depends on you. For me, it was quite important and I had a minimum requirement. It was a necessary condition but not sufficient. I was lucky. I ended up marrying the most beautiful girl that I had ever laid my eyes on.
- I didn't go out with a girl that I had no intention of marrying. Still, it is best to treat your Christian dates as sisters in Christ. This also means that I was never interested in more than one girl at the same time. BTW, I had never initiated to dump a girl either.
- Pray that you will marry the one who loves God and you the most. Pray regularly that God's will be done overriding your own liking of women. Prayed particularly intensely before you ask a woman to marry you. I was 31.5 years old, a virgin, marrying another virgin.
