I have asked a thousand times. Nothing so far. I can theoretically understand that Jesus died for me, but that knowledge doesn't lead to love in the sense I've described. What I experience is just gratitude - he has saved me and I thank him, that's all. No real love.
Elysian,
I don't know if this will help or not, but here's what I've come to understand in my own life: sometimes, we mistake love for a warm, fuzzy emotion. Although emotion is certainly a huge part of love, it's not the only thing that sustains it. See John 21:15-17.
15 When they had
ufinished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter,
v“Simon,
wson of John,
xdo you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed
ymy lambs.” 16 He said to him a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him,
z“Tend
ymy sheep.” 17 He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was grieved because he said to him
athe third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to him, “Lord,
byou know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed
cmy sheep. 18
When Jesus asks if we love Him, he doesn't want just warm fuzzy feelings. It's perhaps an added bonus if we DO feel great delight in the Lord, and if we do feel as though we're 'in love with Him', but what He asks of us is to feed His lambs and tend His sheep -- in other words, to look after "the least of these", because they're His. To Jesus, that's demonstrating our love for Him. In another verse, He says that not everyone who says 'Lord, Lord' will be saved, but rather, those who do the work of the Father will be. Love is a "verb". I honestly think it's okay if we're truly thankful for His death and resurrection, even if we don't "feel" the love we have for Him on an emotional level at first -- usually, that sort of love for Him is easier to be felt when we start to take care of "these little ones" He's left us to care for.
When I think of my human relationships with loved ones and family members, I realize that a HUGE part of that love I have for them ISN'T the emotional, happy, warm fuzzy feeling we associate with "love'. Instead, it's wanting to serve them, help them, comfort them, encourage them. It's that verb, and by acting out love for them, I hope in some small way I'm maybe helping to point them towards Jesus.
Hope that helped a little.