I Quenched The Holy Spirit - Will He Come Back?

[Endzone]

Good news from the eye doctor. I don't have a retina tear. He said my cornea may be distorted causing the loss of peripheral vision. He said over time I may get better as the cornea finds its natural shape.

I'm still a little too sick to work with all my struggles right now. I am hoping and praying that over time the Holy Spirit will come back to me and the demonic spirits will be forced to leave or retreat. Of course, that assums I can get this sexual addictive sin under control. That brings up another question and maybe only for the men--I don't know. Well all have God given sexual desires--yes even women do believe it or not. But, I've been getting them met in an illigetimate way for over 35 years. The result is a lot of damage. To go back and do it a legitimate (God's) way seems an impossibility now. But, I know for sure the Lord is tired of hearing my excuses. I'll have to deal with this some way. Thanks for listening.

 

[fivesense]

Hello Endzone

There are many schools of thought on how to overcome sexual strongholds of the enemy. The pattern is established. It will always be there imbedded in your neural pathways. I know, trust me.

Being able to trust God in this area is difficult, due to the seeming offensiveness of the crime, and the intense holiness and separation unto Him that is involved. If you retain the understanding that God is keeping track of your crimes, you will never see His victory in the matter. He is not keeping track, and your position, if you are truly in the faith, is one of justification in spite of your open or hidden flaws. There is none that cannot sin, knowingly or not, everyday. That is not the point. For freedom Christ frees us, not to sin unabashedly, but to yield to the Holy Spirit in spite of the evidence, even if it seems "wrong", and you should not dare to show your face to God. It is not hopeless, it is not out of God's control, but it is based on your yielding and being accountable quickly to Him, and not allowing condemnation to arise.

It is very important to flee sexual immorality, in order to maintain the infusion of God's light and spirit. There is an important matter taking place, and that is His conforming you into the image of His Son. Your "falling" into sin sidetracks the matter, and the sooner you get back on track serving the Lord in your heart and mind, the quicker He can put the next phase of your transformation into effect. You must cease from damaging the relationship, but is only by allowing the Holy Spirit to overpower you by your willingness to submit by faith. He is involved. He is not just "watching" you screw up, He's attempting to defeat the enemy who is abusing you, and it is only by allowing grace to overwhelm sin that enemy will be put out of your life. It will have to be His power, His life superimposing itself on you, that defeats this horrible pattern, or it will continue to be out of control.

There are no magic words, no special recitations of Scripture verse, there is only the total falling upon God's mercy and grace in this area of sin, because it is so deeply entwined with the old person and the flesh, that it is an identity issue. You cannot see yourself as someone different, therefore being a son of God does not fit the mold. But you are a son, and sinfilled like the other sons. Without believing the truth, that you have been crucified, literally and spiritually, there is no way the new creation the Lord has formed for you can be activated. The sin does not stop the process, it is part of the process, the elimination of the dominion of darkness by the manifesting light of God. Yield to the Spirit at all times and never give up.

It seems impossible, I know. The battles are many and the episodes come at the worst times. It is unavoidable because it is all out of God, and it is for His glory. You became trapped, He will rescue, if you believe. Your out of control, He will keep attempting, never stopping, to put the control of His grace and faith over and above your folly. I know, trust me.

fivesense

 

[Endzone]

Hello Endzone

There are many schools of thought on how to overcome sexual strongholds of the enemy. The pattern is established. It will always be there imbedded in your neural pathways. I know, trust me.

Being able to trust God in this area is difficult, due to the seeming offensiveness of the crime, and the intense holiness and separation unto Him that is involved. If you retain the understanding that God is keeping track of your crimes, you will never see His victory in the matter. He is not keeping track, and your position, if you are truly in the faith, is one of justification in spite of your open or hidden flaws. There is none that cannot sin, knowingly or not, everyday. That is not the point. For freedom Christ frees us, not to sin unabashedly, but to yield to the Holy Spirit in spite of the evidence, even if it seems "wrong", and you should not dare to show your face to God. It is not hopeless, it is not out of God's control, but it is based on your yielding and being accountable quickly to Him, and not allowing condemnation to arise.

It is very important to flee sexual immorality, in order to maintain the infusion of God's light and spirit. There is an important matter taking place, and that is His conforming you into the image of His Son. Your "falling" into sin sidetracks the matter, and the sooner you get back on track serving the Lord in your heart and mind, the quicker He can put the next phase of your transformation into effect. You must cease from damaging the relationship, but is only by allowing the Holy Spirit to overpower you by your willingness to submit by faith. He is involved. He is not just "watching" you screw up, He's attempting to defeat the enemy who is abusing you, and it is only by allowing grace to overwhelm sin that enemy will be put out of your life. It will have to be His power, His life superimposing itself on you, that defeats this horrible pattern, or it will continue to be out of control.

There are no magic words, no special recitations of Scripture verse, there is only the total falling upon God's mercy and grace in this area of sin, because it is so deeply entwined with the old person and the flesh, that it is an identity issue. You cannot see yourself as someone different, therefore being a son of God does not fit the mold. But you are a son, and sinfilled like the other sons. Without believing the truth, that you have been crucified, literally and spiritually, there is no way the new creation the Lord has formed for you can be activated. The sin does not stop the process, it is part of the process, the elimination of the dominion of darkness by the manifesting light of God. Yield to the Spirit at all times and never give up.

It seems impossible, I know. The battles are many and the episodes come at the worst times. It is unavoidable because it is all out of God, and it is for His glory. You became trapped, He will rescue, if you believe. Your out of control, He will keep attempting, never stopping, to put the control of His grace and faith over and above your folly. I know, trust me.

fivesense

Thanks for the encouraging words fivesense. It sounds like you hve overcome in same major battles yourself. And you may still be on the front lines. I don't know. Anyway, it will be tough for a while. I know this sounds arrogant, but there were so many women that hit on me when I was in my teens, 20s, and 30s. And a lot of them were cute Christian girls. If only I had yield to the Lord and been willing to trust the Lord back then. But as you say, we can't dwell on the past. We must go forward. The Lord is continually doing the work to bring us into conformity with His son--just as you say.

 

[Grat]

Just a couple of suggestions. None of them are instantaneous, unfortunately.
The physical lusts are linked. You may find things that help controlling the other ones help with the sexual ones (eg. fasting).
Get the demonic stuff dealt with. Find a local Christian group/ministry that know what they’re dealing with & get them dealt with.
None of us are meant to face this life alone. Find a group of fellow Christians you can relate to. Learn to trust them THEN start sharing your life so they can support you. Think of Nehemiah where people were stationed at the low points in the wall with both weapons and tools to defend the breach until they could rebuild the wall.
Learn to relax into God. God will have he’s agenda of what he knows the really important stuff is and this doesn’t always line up with how we see it.
“Taking every thought captive” is a discipline. You have to practice. Every time you find your thoughts going astray, say to yourself “No, I’m not going to think that way, I’m going to think this way”. Just do it. Don’t be discouraged when things fail, be encouraged when they work. Also, start making it hurt the devil when you are tempted. I found that if I started to pray and intercede for the object of the lust – that they would be saved, blessed, grow, etc - that I usually were able to divert myself from those lusts. Plus I got to pray for people, plus I got to help ruin the devil’s plans. It began to get to the point where the devil had to change his plans because I was causing him to much grief. Part of our calling in the Kingdom is to be a real pain in the devil’s butt. If he leaves us alone, we prosper. If he attacks us, we prosper and grow. Doomed if he does, doomed if he doesn’t.
The Holy Spirit has a plan, just ask him. It’ll be a good one.
See you in heaven.

 

[Endzone]

Endzone...You remind me of my youngest son, even though we are the same age. He is 27 and has always had a problem with authority. This is not because his Father and I did not love him or show it, though. He was prone to frequent outbursts and had a temper problem. He was diagnosed with ADD when he was a teenager and was taking Welbutrin for a while, which did seem to help him. He was very rebellious toward authority, even to his dad and me, or should I say especially toward us.
Anyway...to make a long story short, one day he took off hitchhiking to California and was homeless there. I was worried sick about him all the time. He was beaten up and mugged on the beach one night. Finally, he found a mission that took him and he was on a year program. He was doing well with this and almost completed the program but got into a fight with a man there and was kicked out. He has moved back to the Southeast.
He has spoken of having demons and being unable to fight against them. He does love the bible and he loves God. He has been going to church since he was a baby. I pray for him constantly.
I made a slideshow about him that I was thinking to try to post here but I don't know if the link will work. And if I do, you may not be able to hear the words and music if you use the computer at a library. I will check to see if the link works...This is a song called, "Voice of Truth" by Casting Crowns.
http://www.onetrueme...ee8a0ae073f78f1

The link seems to work fine. I hope this video will be a blessing to you. And I am praying for you.
Take care of yourself. Empty yourself and totally submit, give this all to God. Let him handle it.
Isa. 46: [sup]4[/sup]Even to your old age I will be the same, And even to your graying years I will bear you!I have done it, and I will carry you; And I will bear you and I will deliver you.

Truthquest, that is a hearbreaking story about your youngest son. But, I'm sure it's repeated thousands of times in families all across America. BTW, I have tried twice to get that link to open, but for some reason here on my computer it will not open. I would love to see it. Can you upload to Youtube? I'm using Wi-Fi at a weekly hotel here.

Anyway, I can tell that your heart is a little sad and you are a little hurt about this. You know for the past 3 weeks at the hotel here where I've been staying, there has been a couple in the room next to me here who are just shacking up. The guy is this 20-something nutcase with tats all over his body. I had a chance to talk with the girl though. She is a beautiful girl, 22 years old, and 1 of 4 children. Her dad is a pastor right here in a small town near Ft. Worth. She said her 3 other brothers and sisters turned out fine, but she was rebellious for some reason. She told me she has wrecked 17 cars that friends and family have tried to help her with!! But she is such a sweet and timid and pretty girl. This guy has abused her and screams at her and slams the door all the time. I don't know that she hasn't brought some of it on herself, but anyway 2 nights ago I had enough. I called the front desk and explained the situation to them. The next day they were both out of here. We we went to see her after midnight she was so scared that this guy was going to try and break into her room. It turns out she is the only one who had the key, but was letting this hot-headed guy stay there. Anyway, I'm just saying you can't be responsible for the decisions your kids make. And really as parents there isn't much you can do but pray. I feel so sorry for your son though. I'll bet he was a kid that had a lot of potential and giftings in certain areas of his life. Let's just hope he is eventually able to be completely trusting of the Lord Jesus Christ and submitted to Him.

Thank you for sharing that story truthquest. I did not mean to be insensitive. Please forgive me for not commenting sooner. I was locked out of the board for a while, and I wasn't sure if I would be allowed to return. God bless you.

 

[Endzone]

Well as these world cup soccer matches can sometimes end 0-0, I think I will take this opportunity to update a little bit. Even if nobody reads it much, it will give me a chance to collect my thoughts.

Things are about the same, but maybe there is some improvement. The oddest thing is that I start out horrible in the morning, and then I gain confidence and my spirit improves during the day. Afteter 6PM I am much better and at my best around midnight before I go to bed. Who can understand how the spirit of the Lord works? Anyway, I prayed for about 2 hours this morning. The Lord was there and He did hear my prayer. But, there were times when the demonic spirits took over and captured my mind and my thinking. I had to really work to stay focused on the Lord. But the Lord hardly ever speaks to me anymore. Oh my dear brothers and sisters I desperately miss the sweet fellowship that the Lord and I had for about 30 years of my Christian life. He was such a sweet comfort to me and close to me in the morning. He would give me wisdom and lead and guide me in all my affairs. He would even reveal things to me that were going to happen in certain people's lives before they even happened. I can't tell you how much I miss Him. The very best friend I had (who happened to also be God) is now moved far back from me. He is either angry about my unwillingness to stop sinning and/or He is punishing/chastising me. I don't know exactly what He is doing. But because He has always been so good and kind to me and mericful to me, I am hoping that He will continue to be this way. In other words I still have hope. But there are times during the day that I hold my head in despair for a long time. There is usually a time when a demonic spirit of fear attacks me for a while. I keep thinking of the verse in Proverbs 18:4. "The spirit of a man shall sustain his own infirmities, but a wounded spirit who can bear". Well, my spirit is so wounded. To a certain significant degree the loving and kind spirit of the Lord Jesus Christ has been replaced by demonic spirits. That is having a wounded spirit.

So, will the Lord ever come back and I will be restored to the same fellowship I had before? Only the Lord knows. Will I get gradually better or worse? Only the Lord knows. Will I be lonely and destitute the rest of my life? Only the Lord knows I guess. I have really reduced or almost completely stopped the illicit sexual activity in my life. That would be sin. I am lonely here in this little room. I have no intimacy in my life. I still have the physical problem with my bowels and I have lost a little peripheral vision in my left eye from where I was hit, but I think I am a little better.

Would someone pray that I might be able to get some kind of job? I think that would help me structure some time and I would have some more spending money.

Thank you for listening. Is it alright if I check in every now and then? Will the moderators permit it? I wonder if anyone knows of a story where a Christian brother or sister quenched the Holy Spirt and what the eventual result was. The one example of this in the OT about King Saul did not really have a happy ending. And there are a lot of people who don't even think Saul will be in heaven.

Thanks for listening! Now back to the world cup soccer game I guess. Pretty boring though. I hope you all are doing well, and I wish you a blessed day. Thanks for just letting me talk. Endzone.

BTW, here's where I went on the 4th of July. This is a friend's sister's house just north of Ft. Worth, TX. Not a bad place to hang your hat huh?

http://www.pbase.com/craig_c/jana

 

[truthquest]

Truthquest, that is a hearbreaking story about your youngest son. But, I'm sure it's repeated thousands of times in families all across America. BTW, I have tried twice to get that link to open, but for some reason here on my computer it will not open. I would love to see it. Can you upload to Youtube? I'm using Wi-Fi at a weekly hotel here.

I just tried the link and for some reason I couldn't get it to work either. Maybe the site is experiencing problems right now. The link worked when I first posted it. I'm posting the link again. If it doesn't work, I will temporarily upload the video to youtube and give a link from there.

http://www.onetruemedia.com/otm_site/view_shared?p=76fde6cee8a0ae073f78f1

 

[Endzone]

I just tried the link and for some reason I couldn't get it to work either. Maybe the site is experiencing problems right now. The link worked when I first posted it. I'm posting the link again. If it doesn't work, I will temporarily upload the video to youtube and give a link from there.

http://www.onetrueme...ee8a0ae073f78f1

It worked that time. He's a good looking kid. Yes, I understand the message. It is right on. I wish I could have known the truth. The truth for me is that God can be trusted, and He's not going to betray me. Please tell me, how is your son doing now? Has he been to any deliverance ministries? There are some really good deliverance ministries around. But really doors need to be closed or else the spirits will just come back. Thanks for posting that link.

 

[fivesense]

It's good to see you back, Endzone, moderators permitting. And thanks for the update. We're rootin' for ya.

fivesense

 

[Endzone]

It's good to see you back, Endzone, moderators permitting. And thanks for the update. We're rootin' for ya.

fivesense

Thanks fivesense.

 

[Endzone]

Doing so much better today. Just abiding in the love of Jesus some. It's a wonderful thing. Trusting Jesus as a little child--that can be a hard thing. I have lived a life of escapism and sex was my drug of choice. Now with a lot of free time, I need to try and figure out what to do with the rest of my life.

BTW, I got off of a really bad Christian forum board yesterday. There were some women on there who were really vicious. Some of them I even think might have been witches. So, I'm just saying be careful on these boards. Some people on these boards may be people masking as Christians who really are the enemies of the Lord. And some could just be nut cases like several were on that other board I was on. I mean this is the internet--right? You never know exactly who you are dealing with, and an enemy of our Lord and savior Jesus Christ will try to disguise himself. Thanks for letting me talk.

 

[Endzone]

Have any of you seen the CCM band Downhere? I saw them at Overlake Christian Church in Redmond, WA sometime in 2006. I really liked this song, and I really like the video this guy did of it. If the moderators will allow it, I'd like to post the link here. Tell me what you think.


http://www.tangle.com/view_video?viewkey=bb208f9a02bff183976c

 

[truthquest]

It worked that time. He's a good looking kid. Yes, I understand the message. It is right on. I wish I could have known the truth. The truth for me is that God can be trusted, and He's not going to betray me. Please tell me, how is your son doing now? Has he been to any deliverance ministries? There are some really good deliverance ministries around. But really doors need to be closed or else the spirits will just come back. Thanks for posting that link.

Thanks for asking about my son. He is working through some problems right now. He has mentioned trying to find a ministry program. He writes me often and keeps me updated on his situation.

 

[Endzone]

Hymn -- Be Thou My vision

Isn't this a beautiful hymn?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XZ3ja-quhA

 

[thisisnotmyname]

I don't know what it means by direct linking denied, but if it is not against the rules, I would like someone to contact me who has been through the feeling of losing God from their heart, mind, soul, and spirit. After grieving the Holy Spirit very badly, and then God restored to Him. someone who has felt like their heart was hardened past finding repentance, and feels like they want faith to do what they thought God told them to do, but like the only way they can do it is if God is in them, giving them the strength and the faith to do it. and God miraculously restored Himself to them anyways.

 

[quietthinker]

This is my first post on this board. I was just wondering if other believers in Christ have had this same thing happen to them that I have. I have been a Christian for 33 years and I love the sweet communion of the Holy Spirit the comforter and also being lead by the Holy Spirit even in the smallest details of life. But, I have also had this horrible sexual sin in my life for probably 35 years. I am a 53-year-old male. And let me tell you right now, it goes way beyond just looking at internet porn which is bad enough. But for the longest time, here has been what a 2-week cycle in my life is like. I succumb to the temptation on the internet. Then I can feel the demonic powers coming into my mind. I usually go "act" on it by having sex with a prostitute. I get to feeling physically sick and sometime I caught a lot. I get the flem in my throat from being sick. I get a severe headache that probably last 8 hours, but it is intense. I become pretty demonized, and I will explode in a demonic fit on somebody because the Holy Spirit is quenched and demonic spirits are prevelant. But, the Lord begins to heal and restore my soul. The heavy demonic presence begins to leave. I stop coughing for a while or not as much. The sweet comfort of the Holy Spirit comes back, and I know the Lord Jesus is close again. The Lord begins to speak to me by His spirit. I am back to my normal self for a while and enjoy fellowship with other Christians. I love to cook and bake and usually do this a lot of home group meetings. But, here is the thing. Probably no more than 1 or 2 days after I am back to normal, the cycle repeats in my life. And over a 25 year span it has repeated about 450 times. Now, about 3 months ago, guess what happened? After a binge, THE HOLY SPIRIT DID NOT COME BACK! I do not have that wonderful comfort of the Holy Spirit when I wake up in the morning anymore. The Lord does not lead me by His spirit whatsoever. Also demonic spirits of fear torment me--it is usually most intense in the mornings. The headaches that usually would only last 8 hours now are a recurring thing, but not nearly as intense. In the past 2 years I've also gotten some physical problems from my sin such as chronic fatigue and bowel problems. My question is, will the Lord ever come back? I know He has not forsaken me. I believe He still listens to my prayer, but He just doesn't communicate with me any more. I hate this man, I really hate this. I want the fellowship with Jesus back. I know I have to give up this sin. So many times the Lord has told me that I am NOT going to hell, but I still fear God now and I don't want to spend the rest of my days with seperation. Has anyone ever had habitual sin in your life like this? Does anyone have any thoughts?

Thanks,
Craig in Ft. Worth, TX

do you hate the sin or do you just hate its consequences Endzone?

 

[quietthinker]

Good news from the eye doctor. I don't have a retina tear. He said my cornea may be distorted causing the loss of peripheral vision. He said over time I may get better as the cornea finds its natural shape.

I'm still a little too sick to work with all my struggles right now. I am hoping and praying that over time the Holy Spirit will come back to me and the demonic spirits will be forced to leave or retreat. Of course, that assums I can get this sexual addictive sin under control. That brings up another question and maybe only for the men--I don't know. Well all have God given sexual desires--yes even women do believe it or not. But, I've been getting them met in an illigetimate way for over 35 years. The result is a lot of damage. To go back and do it a legitimate (God's) way seems an impossibility now. But, I know for sure the Lord is tired of hearing my excuses. I'll have to deal with this some way. Thanks for listening.

Get rid of the computer if it's the portal. ....remember Judas??....he sought repentance but couldn't find it. Why couldn't he find it? because he cared more for getting away with his sin than he did hating it.
Peter on the other hand betrayed Jesus and it broke him. Yes, we need to be broken. 'he who falls on this rock will be broken but he who it falls on will be crushed.'......Jesus.

 

[farouk]

For the believer in the Lord Jesus, the focus is on following and obeying the Lord Jesus. Romans 8 tells us that all true believers have the Spirit of Christ, Who indwells all His people. Indwelling is a permanent state of affairs, while seeking to be filled with the Spirit is a daily exercise: in Philippians 4, for example, life in the Spirit is closely connected with joy, prayer and thanksgiving.

 

[thisisnotmyname]

lately I have been decensitized to it. the sin is that I thought God called me to do a fast that was above me. I said, Yes Lord, and told Him that His will be done, not mine. I added some words to make what I said make certain I would do it. then I thought of my life, and how I could die if I did it. I thought of my weakness, and doubted. then I started making excuses. I later postponed it. there was good reason to postpone it, there was an earthquake that messed things up, and I helped out. but I was told by people that my salvation is not based on my ability to do what I said. that the sin was paying the sacrifice of fools. that it was also in what I spoke. I can't earn my salvation. I tried getting out of that fast. I kept allowing fear to make me not do it. then I felt separated from God. whenever I ate after that, I felt it affect my conscience, I kept trying to do partial fasts. I heeded to the voices of people who told me that it was not God's will for me, and that He wants me to be healthy. I was later so sure that God required it of me, that on two occasions I started doing the fast without consent. I am an adult, but living in my Grandpa's house. there was an opportunity for me to do the fast, but I would have had to ask my grandparents to pray about it first. I was forbidden to do fasts in this house, at least until they prayed about it first. I was told to submit to my grandparents, and not do the fast. my grandparents agreed to make a compromise, and that I could do a partial fast. But in my mind it felt like disobedience to try to compromise what I thought God wanted me to do. But I am wondering if God was testing me to see if I love food and my grandpa more than Him. if like Esther, I would take courage to do what I was afraid to do, and do it in faith. so for two weeks I have felt separated from God, and on several occasions gave into eating till I was super full to try to cope. and now the conviction is going away. I am trying to get back to God. I have sought council, but lately they have been telling me that God does not require it, though I keep thinking of verse where it states that if we hear the voice of the Holy Spirit, we are not to harden our hearts, and we are not supposed to have any God before God Almighty. so I was thinking that it was sin whenever I eat anything now, until I do the fast. though people are telling me that it is not God's will for me to starve myself. and this is a lot of Christian counselors. I had gotten two counselors that told me that I can ease into the fast, and do a compromise with my grandpa, and one that told me that if God called me to fast, that I need to fast, but that it doesn't need to be a complete fast. and they told me that it was the enemy that wanted to destroy me. it was possibly me that added the large requirement to it, because I only heard, "submit food to me" but when I spoke, or thought, in response, I was thinking about an extreme fast. and this is anonymous. God very well may have been calling me to step out in faith, to chose to trust Him. Or He was showing me an area of my heart that needs to be worked on. I kept saying I was willing to do the fast for Him, then not completing it. So it is a loop I got myself stuck in.

 

[Stranger]

lately I have been decensitized to it. the sin is that I thought God called me to do a fast that was above me. I said, Yes Lord, and told Him that His will be done, not mine. I added some words to make what I said make certain I would do it. then I thought of my life, and how I could die if I did it. I thought of my weakness, and doubted. then I started making excuses. I later postponed it. there was good reason to postpone it, there was an earthquake that messed things up, and I helped out. but I was told by people that my salvation is not based on my ability to do what I said. that the sin was paying the sacrifice of fools. that it was also in what I spoke. I can't earn my salvation. I tried getting out of that fast. I kept allowing fear to make me not do it. then I felt separated from God. whenever I ate after that, I felt it affect my conscience, I kept trying to do partial fasts. I heeded to the voices of people who told me that it was not God's will for me, and that He wants me to be healthy. I was later so sure that God required it of me, that on two occasions I started doing the fast without consent. I am an adult, but living in my Grandpa's house. there was an opportunity for me to do the fast, but I would have had to ask my grandparents to pray about it first. I was forbidden to do fasts in this house, at least until they prayed about it first. I was told to submit to my grandparents, and not do the fast. my grandparents agreed to make a compromise, and that I could do a partial fast. But in my mind it felt like disobedience to try to compromise what I thought God wanted me to do. But I am wondering if God was testing me to see if I love food and my grandpa more than Him. if like Esther, I would take courage to do what I was afraid to do, and do it in faith. so for two weeks I have felt separated from God, and on several occasions gave into eating till I was super full to try to cope. and now the conviction is going away. I am trying to get back to God. I have sought council, but lately they have been telling me that God does not require it, though I keep thinking of verse where it states that if we hear the voice of the Holy Spirit, we are not to harden our hearts, and we are not supposed to have any God before God Almighty. so I was thinking that it was sin whenever I eat anything now, until I do the fast. though people are telling me that it is not God's will for me to starve myself. and this is a lot of Christian counselors. I had gotten two counselors that told me that I can ease into the fast, and do a compromise with my grandpa, and one that told me that if God called me to fast, that I need to fast, but that it doesn't need to be a complete fast. and they told me that it was the enemy that wanted to destroy me. it was possibly me that added the large requirement to it, because I only heard, "submit food to me" but when I spoke, or thought, in response, I was thinking about an extreme fast. and this is anonymous. God very well may have been calling me to step out in faith, to chose to trust Him. Or He was showing me an area of my heart that needs to be worked on. I kept saying I was willing to do the fast for Him, then not completing it. So it is a loop I got myself stuck in.

Sounds like you made a vow unto the Lord to do this thing. Have no fear. Jesus Christ can and does cancel out all our ill advised vows. Note (Num. 30:6-8)

"And if she had at all an husband, when she vowed, or uttered ought out of her lips, wherewith she bound her soul; And her husband heard it, and held his peace at her in the day that he heard it: then her vows shall stand, and her bonds wherewith she bound her soul shall stand. But if her husband disallowed her on the day that he heard it; then he shall make her vow which she vowed, and that which she uttered with her lips, wherewith she bound her soul, of non effect; and the LORD shall forgive her."

Rest assured that when we make vows unto God, the Father hears it. And when he hears it, He turns to the Son and says, what is this I hear from one who is your bride concerning a vow? And the Son says, don't pay any attention, I got this covered.

So, you are not stuck. Feel free to go on with the Lord. But, don't make any more vows.

Stranger