I've always been intrigued by what Jesus told Nic at night: 8 "The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit". So how do you know?
Yes, profoundly points to God's Holy Spirit being the decider of who He makes 'born of God'.
That is not your decision or will.
I would say the being born of God comes first, before your receiving of Him, as in God first changes your heart to make you open to the gospel message.
John 1
10 He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him. 11 He came to His [
c]own, and His [
d]own did not receive Him. 12 But as many as received Him, to them He gave the [
e]right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name: 13
who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.
Were born, past tense, prior to the receiving of Him in your heart. God knows what He is doing in your life to bring you into His kingdom.
Acts 16:14
Now a certain woman named Lydia heard
us. She was a seller of purple from the city of Thyatira, who worshiped God.
The Lord opened her heart to heed the things spoken by Paul.
KJ21
Whosoever believeth that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and every one that loveth Him that begot, loveth Him also that is begotten by Him.
ESV
Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ has been born of God, and everyone who loves the Father loves whoever has been born of him.
GW
Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Messiah has been born from God. Everyone who loves the Father also loves his children.
YLT
Every one who is believing that Jesus is the Christ, of God he hath been begotten, and every one who is loving Him who did beget, doth love also him who is begotten of Him:
Philippians 1
27 Only let your conduct be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of your affairs, that you stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel, 28 and not in any way terrified by your adversaries, which is to them a proof of perdition, but [
f]to you of salvation, and that from God. 29
For to you it has been granted on behalf of Christ, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake, 30 having the same conflict which you saw in me and now hear
is in me.