I grew up in a small Baptist church in Marietta Georgia. I was saved at a fairly young age and active in the youth ministry. I earned my Bachelor’s degree in religion (from a Baptist university) and my Master’s in theology. When I retired from the military I became more active in our association and the ministry.
My view changed at some point, influenced largely by Jonathan Edwards, and I became a Calvinist. As a preacher some of my sermons (depending on the topic) were influenced by my Calvinistic understanding of the atonement.
One Sunday I was invited to be a guest preacher at a church in our association. I preached a sermon about the Cross. I was pleased with the sermon. The next morning I awoke plagued with the conviction that I had leaned the sermon to my understanding. I purchased two dry erase boards and hung them in my office. I wrote my belief (Penal Substitution Theory) and verses corresponding to the Theory. Then I removed all verses that did not specifically affirm the Theory. I was left with no verses at all. The more I studied the more I became convinced Calvin did not do Christianity a service when he articulated the Theory. That is when I stopped being a Calvinist.
So here are three changes in my belief. I became saved. I became a Calvinist because I agree with Edwardian Calvinism as it pertains particularly to matters of the will and predestination. And I stopped identifying with Calvinism because I do not affirm its theory of the atonement.
Regardless of what a few members here would have you believe, this does not mean I am lying about my belief. It means that I am in the process of learning and refining what I believe. This is the opposite of being dead and stagnant. It is also the opposite of being as a reed blown by the wind. It is an ever progressing process where I am growing in Christ and in my faith.
I still affirm the same gospel I believed when I was saved. I still affirm Edwardian Calvinism insofar as the idea of predestination and issues of the will are concerned. But I have let go of the things that I have come to see as error.
I have discovered that a few people despise me for having been a Calvinistic preacher, having taught Calvinism, and leaving that camp. They would prefer to pretend I never understood Calvinism, which is asinine. Calvinism is beautifully simplistic in its interlocking doctrines. Some would slander me as if I now hate Calvinists as if one’s understanding of Scripture would be a cause for hate. I think they see me as a traitor because I was once one of them. I do not understand this “campish” way of thinking. It seems like a cult mentality to me (slander anyone who leaves the cult).
But to correct that way of thinking – I believe that our understanding should develop and change as we progress in our Christian walk. I do not believe that we will hold a perfect understanding in this lifetime. Instead I think that we see as through a mirror dimly, but when we are resurrected we shall see clearly. We are responsible for our understanding, but our responsibility is between us and God. We lean on Christ and not our understanding. We trust in Him. Understanding, hopefully, changes and grows. He is eternally constant.
My view changed at some point, influenced largely by Jonathan Edwards, and I became a Calvinist. As a preacher some of my sermons (depending on the topic) were influenced by my Calvinistic understanding of the atonement.
One Sunday I was invited to be a guest preacher at a church in our association. I preached a sermon about the Cross. I was pleased with the sermon. The next morning I awoke plagued with the conviction that I had leaned the sermon to my understanding. I purchased two dry erase boards and hung them in my office. I wrote my belief (Penal Substitution Theory) and verses corresponding to the Theory. Then I removed all verses that did not specifically affirm the Theory. I was left with no verses at all. The more I studied the more I became convinced Calvin did not do Christianity a service when he articulated the Theory. That is when I stopped being a Calvinist.
So here are three changes in my belief. I became saved. I became a Calvinist because I agree with Edwardian Calvinism as it pertains particularly to matters of the will and predestination. And I stopped identifying with Calvinism because I do not affirm its theory of the atonement.
Regardless of what a few members here would have you believe, this does not mean I am lying about my belief. It means that I am in the process of learning and refining what I believe. This is the opposite of being dead and stagnant. It is also the opposite of being as a reed blown by the wind. It is an ever progressing process where I am growing in Christ and in my faith.
I still affirm the same gospel I believed when I was saved. I still affirm Edwardian Calvinism insofar as the idea of predestination and issues of the will are concerned. But I have let go of the things that I have come to see as error.
I have discovered that a few people despise me for having been a Calvinistic preacher, having taught Calvinism, and leaving that camp. They would prefer to pretend I never understood Calvinism, which is asinine. Calvinism is beautifully simplistic in its interlocking doctrines. Some would slander me as if I now hate Calvinists as if one’s understanding of Scripture would be a cause for hate. I think they see me as a traitor because I was once one of them. I do not understand this “campish” way of thinking. It seems like a cult mentality to me (slander anyone who leaves the cult).
But to correct that way of thinking – I believe that our understanding should develop and change as we progress in our Christian walk. I do not believe that we will hold a perfect understanding in this lifetime. Instead I think that we see as through a mirror dimly, but when we are resurrected we shall see clearly. We are responsible for our understanding, but our responsibility is between us and God. We lean on Christ and not our understanding. We trust in Him. Understanding, hopefully, changes and grows. He is eternally constant.
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