I am currently a care taker for my elderly father and got my needs taken care of since dad was a high ranking civil servant and his retirement plan much better than most. But dad turned 90 last month and has had various issues, and my fate came up a few days back when a controversy happened and dad mentioned he worried about how I am going to get on once he dies. So I began researching job and career opportunities found an excellent resource a YouTube channel (Shane Hummus I believe) that only deals in high demand jobs and careers. But there is a lot of baggage being 59 and I have had 3 or so runs already in trying to study up for a career. It is also hard to not be bitter at times with all these people a generation or two younger than me having success. Not only have I applied myself on the study front, but even on the Christian front as far as offerings, tithes, ministry etc. I guess in different ways I have learned a lot and sought in different ways to apply that to life, but it almost seems like I am destined to always lack some critical ingredient in whatever thing I try to do. Some folks might blame this on "Spiritual Warfare" but I don't think so. looking back on life I have been unusually protected from that. This is more like the challenges of bareness and other issues that the Patriarchs of Genesis and other people of the Bible have had. I guess my overall goal is to be OK with this attitude wise, but to shoot for something better than the survival jobs I used to have to settle for.
