My screwed up life

[@mantis]

So my situation. God moved me out to a literal wilderness setting about a decade ago. Absolute paradise as far as I'm concerned. By back has gotten so bad I cannot work at all. I can barley walk half the days. I have been trying to get SSA disability help for three years and they keep denying me. We will have to appeal again. I am so tired. Now we have to sell this place and move into town because we cannot afford to live here on one income. I have goats that are like pets. I don't know what to do with them. It makes me so sad. Depressed.

I just cashed out what little retirement I had which amounts to beans. I have to 100lb plus dogs that cost a fortune to feed. Two cats. I am so tired and in so much pain I don't know how I will be able to move. And to top it off, the devil is trying to get to my wife by having a coworker to tell her to divorce me. It has ruined a relationship at her work with the person who said this although she kept her feelings to herself and hasn't brought it up to the coworker. Thank God she loves me and knows what I am going through and understands my pain.

I have prayed daily for YEARS to get help for this financially from the Lord. I can't work, I need help. When I prayed with a friend of mine not too long ago I felt The Lord's robe draped upon my shoulders so I thought, "no problem, He has me, we will win the disability case". But I lost it?? Now I have to sell all and move. In daily chronic pain from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to bed. Why is he allowing this? The Lord spoke to me directly many years ago about this pain. He said he would bless me and many people would come to the Lord through me. So I thought well the pain is real, he has blessed me with so much. Land, wife, kids animals. His prophecy is coming true. So two out of there three. He would be with me, he would bless me and many people would come to the Lord through me. No one has came to the Lord through me. Now I feel like he taking his blessings away. Or is he just changing my blessings? I live about 20 miles from town. I can't drive to church any more due to pain.

I don't even know what I am asking for. Prayer sure didn't seem to help. I probably had twenty people praying for me and they still are!!!??? I have given so much in secret to help people. I have given so much to the homeless, money, tents , sleeping bags. I have given so much to pre born and to preachers I support. Why does God not see that? I am literally in tears writing this to strangers. Luckily I have a good friend that used too be on this forum that I am still in contact with. Truman. Anyway christian fellowship is far and few between for me. It robs my joy. Anyway I just had to unload. Thanks for reading this. I am not even asking for prayer as I am so discouraged with how this is all turning out. Carry on lol.

 

[dev553344]

So my situation. God moved me out to a literal wilderness setting about a decade ago. Absolute paradise as far as I'm concerned. By back has gotten so bad I cannot work at all. I can barley walk half the days. I have been trying to get SSA disability help for three years and they keep denying me. We will have to appeal again. I am so tired. Now we have to sell this place and move into town because we cannot afford to live here on one income. I have goats that are like pets. I don't know what to do with them. It makes me so sad. Depressed.

I just cashed out what little retirement I had which amounts to beans. I have to 100lb plus dogs that cost a fortune to feed. Two cats. I am so tired and in so much pain I don't know how I will be able to move. And to top it off, the devil is trying to get to my wife by having a coworker to tell her to divorce me. It has ruined a relationship at her work with the person who said this although she kept her feelings to herself and hasn't brought it up to the coworker. Thank God she loves me and knows what I am going through and understands my pain.

I have prayed daily for YEARS to get help for this financially from the Lord. I can't work, I need help. When I prayed with a friend of mine not too long ago I felt The Lord's robe draped upon my shoulders so I thought, "no problem, He has me, we will win the disability case". But I lost it?? Now I have to sell all and move. In daily chronic pain from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to bed. Why is he allowing this? The Lord spoke to me directly many years ago about this pain. He said he would bless me and many people would come to the Lord through me. So I thought well the pain is real, he has blessed me with so much. Land, wife, kids animals. His prophecy is coming true. So two out of there three. He would be with me, he would bless me and many people would come to the Lord through me. No one has came to the Lord through me. Now I feel like he taking his blessings away. Or is he just changing my blessings? I live about 20 miles from town. I can't drive to church any more due to pain.

I don't even know what I am asking for. Prayer sure didn't seem to help. I probably had twenty people praying for me and they still are!!!??? I have given so much in secret to help people. I have given so much to the homeless, money, tents , sleeping bags. I have given so much to pre born and to preachers I support. Why does God not see that? I am literally in tears writing this to strangers. Luckily I have a good friend that used too be on this forum that I am still in contact with. Truman. Anyway christian fellowship is far and few between for me. It robs my joy. Anyway I just had to unload. Thanks for reading this. I am not even asking for prayer as I am so discouraged with how this is all turning out. Carry on lol.

I understand what you are going thru somewhat. I have a very similar story. Praying for you to have a good life.

 

[Pearl]

So my situation. God moved me out to a literal wilderness setting about a decade ago. Absolute paradise as far as I'm concerned. By back has gotten so bad I cannot work at all. I can barley walk half the days. I have been trying to get SSA disability help for three years and they keep denying me. We will have to appeal again. I am so tired. Now we have to sell this place and move into town because we cannot afford to live here on one income. I have goats that are like pets. I don't know what to do with them. It makes me so sad. Depressed.

I just cashed out what little retirement I had which amounts to beans. I have to 100lb plus dogs that cost a fortune to feed. Two cats. I am so tired and in so much pain I don't know how I will be able to move. And to top it off, the devil is trying to get to my wife by having a coworker to tell her to divorce me. It has ruined a relationship at her work with the person who said this although she kept her feelings to herself and hasn't brought it up to the coworker. Thank God she loves me and knows what I am going through and understands my pain.

I have prayed daily for YEARS to get help for this financially from the Lord. I can't work, I need help. When I prayed with a friend of mine not too long ago I felt The Lord's robe draped upon my shoulders so I thought, "no problem, He has me, we will win the disability case". But I lost it?? Now I have to sell all and move. In daily chronic pain from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to bed. Why is he allowing this? The Lord spoke to me directly many years ago about this pain. He said he would bless me and many people would come to the Lord through me. So I thought well the pain is real, he has blessed me with so much. Land, wife, kids animals. His prophecy is coming true. So two out of there three. He would be with me, he would bless me and many people would come to the Lord through me. No one has came to the Lord through me. Now I feel like he taking his blessings away. Or is he just changing my blessings? I live about 20 miles from town. I can't drive to church any more due to pain.

I don't even know what I am asking for. Prayer sure didn't seem to help. I probably had twenty people praying for me and they still are!!!??? I have given so much in secret to help people. I have given so much to the homeless, money, tents , sleeping bags. I have given so much to pre born and to preachers I support. Why does God not see that? I am literally in tears writing this to strangers. Luckily I have a good friend that used too be on this forum that I am still in contact with. Truman. Anyway christian fellowship is far and few between for me. It robs my joy. Anyway I just had to unload. Thanks for reading this. I am not even asking for prayer as I am so discouraged with how this is all turning out. Carry on lol.

Mantis I will pray for you. Sometimes when things start going wrong they don't know when to stop. My son experiences bad stuff happening to him all the time, it's like he's cursed. I'm not saying you are just letting you know that I understand that bad things can happen through no fault of your own and sometimes God seems to have his back turned. Keep hoping. Keep loving God no matter what. I am praying.

 

[Nancy]

@Mantis,
It seems sometimes when we petition Him, He may seem to not hear us, but He does. Since I can very much relate, what I have come to know since myself living with horrible pain, chronic, full on never ending sciatica for 4 years, and never found a comfortable position all that time, I was forced to still work as I have only myself to rely on. Shoulders, back ruined metatarsals destroyed, horrible arthritis in neck and especially ankles (broke, sprained them countless times over the decades, have dead nerves in lower legs lower leg and ankles, foot drop and cannot wear the braces any longer as they ruined my steppage gait so, no balance...I could go on but, I am telling you this so you know I fully understand your pain.

It took me sometime to realize I complained of these things all. the. time. It's our reaction to these trials, tribs, ailments that God is looking at IMHO. When we pray it must always be His will be done and perhaps He is preparing you for something ahead, don't lose your faith, He has a way of restoring things! I begged God for so many years to take away this pain and lack of ability to do what I've always done before. Silence. Which only made me mad at God for ignoring my prayer, lol. One thing I did not ask and should have back then: Gracious Father, my prayer to you is that you would fully heal me, but if it is not your will to at this time, strengthen me so that I may OVERCOME these obstacles in life. I am going to pray this for you right now brother.
Welcome back!

 

[quietthinker]

So my situation. God moved me out to a literal wilderness setting about a decade ago. Absolute paradise as far as I'm concerned. By back has gotten so bad I cannot work at all. I can barley walk half the days. I have been trying to get SSA disability help for three years and they keep denying me. We will have to appeal again. I am so tired. Now we have to sell this place and move into town because we cannot afford to live here on one income. I have goats that are like pets. I don't know what to do with them. It makes me so sad. Depressed.

I just cashed out what little retirement I had which amounts to beans. I have to 100lb plus dogs that cost a fortune to feed. Two cats. I am so tired and in so much pain I don't know how I will be able to move. And to top it off, the devil is trying to get to my wife by having a coworker to tell her to divorce me. It has ruined a relationship at her work with the person who said this although she kept her feelings to herself and hasn't brought it up to the coworker. Thank God she loves me and knows what I am going through and understands my pain.

I have prayed daily for YEARS to get help for this financially from the Lord. I can't work, I need help. When I prayed with a friend of mine not too long ago I felt The Lord's robe draped upon my shoulders so I thought, "no problem, He has me, we will win the disability case". But I lost it?? Now I have to sell all and move. In daily chronic pain from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to bed. Why is he allowing this? The Lord spoke to me directly many years ago about this pain. He said he would bless me and many people would come to the Lord through me. So I thought well the pain is real, he has blessed me with so much. Land, wife, kids animals. His prophecy is coming true. So two out of there three. He would be with me, he would bless me and many people would come to the Lord through me. No one has came to the Lord through me. Now I feel like he taking his blessings away. Or is he just changing my blessings? I live about 20 miles from town. I can't drive to church any more due to pain.

I don't even know what I am asking for. Prayer sure didn't seem to help. I probably had twenty people praying for me and they still are!!!??? I have given so much in secret to help people. I have given so much to the homeless, money, tents , sleeping bags. I have given so much to pre born and to preachers I support. Why does God not see that? I am literally in tears writing this to strangers. Luckily I have a good friend that used too be on this forum that I am still in contact with. Truman. Anyway christian fellowship is far and few between for me. It robs my joy. Anyway I just had to unload. Thanks for reading this. I am not even asking for prayer as I am so discouraged with how this is all turning out. Carry on lol.

I say this kindly....although chances are high it will not be received that way.
Obsession with self determines what we hear and how we see. Our 'good' works become bargaining chips to twist God's arm to do what we want.

When the Israelites were bitten by serpents (the natural environment they were in swarmed with snakes and scorpions) in the desert what was God's solution?

We need to ask instead of and before we assume we can tell.

Edit: ...and what do we ask?.... that the eyes of our understanding be opened.

 

[JohnDB]

So my situation. God moved me out to a literal wilderness setting about a decade ago. Absolute paradise as far as I'm concerned. By back has gotten so bad I cannot work at all. I can barley walk half the days. I have been trying to get SSA disability help for three years and they keep denying me. We will have to appeal again. I am so tired. Now we have to sell this place and move into town because we cannot afford to live here on one income. I have goats that are like pets. I don't know what to do with them. It makes me so sad. Depressed.

I just cashed out what little retirement I had which amounts to beans. I have to 100lb plus dogs that cost a fortune to feed. Two cats. I am so tired and in so much pain I don't know how I will be able to move. And to top it off, the devil is trying to get to my wife by having a coworker to tell her to divorce me. It has ruined a relationship at her work with the person who said this although she kept her feelings to herself and hasn't brought it up to the coworker. Thank God she loves me and knows what I am going through and understands my pain.

I have prayed daily for YEARS to get help for this financially from the Lord. I can't work, I need help. When I prayed with a friend of mine not too long ago I felt The Lord's robe draped upon my shoulders so I thought, "no problem, He has me, we will win the disability case". But I lost it?? Now I have to sell all and move. In daily chronic pain from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to bed. Why is he allowing this? The Lord spoke to me directly many years ago about this pain. He said he would bless me and many people would come to the Lord through me. So I thought well the pain is real, he has blessed me with so much. Land, wife, kids animals. His prophecy is coming true. So two out of there three. He would be with me, he would bless me and many people would come to the Lord through me. No one has came to the Lord through me. Now I feel like he taking his blessings away. Or is he just changing my blessings? I live about 20 miles from town. I can't drive to church any more due to pain.

I don't even know what I am asking for. Prayer sure didn't seem to help. I probably had twenty people praying for me and they still are!!!??? I have given so much in secret to help people. I have given so much to the homeless, money, tents , sleeping bags. I have given so much to pre born and to preachers I support. Why does God not see that? I am literally in tears writing this to strangers. Luckily I have a good friend that used too be on this forum that I am still in contact with. Truman. Anyway christian fellowship is far and few between for me. It robs my joy. Anyway I just had to unload. Thanks for reading this. I am not even asking for prayer as I am so discouraged with how this is all turning out. Carry on lol.

Out of curiosity...
Does SSA give a reason for denying your claim? Or do you just get a "NO" and nothing else?
Dr records and x-rays should provide a clear explanation for you....but maybe it's the doctor who has unclear records that thinks idiot SSA staff should understand medical jargon.

 

[dev553344]

Out of curiosity...
Does SSA give a reason for denying your claim? Or do you just get a "NO" and nothing else?
Dr records and x-rays should provide a clear explanation for you....but maybe it's the doctor who has unclear records that thinks idiot SSA staff should understand medical jargon.

Disability can be very difficult to get approved for. You have to prove to them that you are disabled and can no longer work. I have sciatica and it can be very painful and disabling, but to prove that is difficult. Back problems might be difficult to get approval for.

 

[Nancy]

Glory to God, I prayed for the Lord to deliver me from constant pain from 7 surgeries (motorcycle accident, and 3 months later hit by a car walking to my car in a parking lot.

I applied for SSD at 57, 9 years back, no lawyer, except The Lord. I was approved 100% permanently disabled 3 months after my physical. How good is He??!!!

You will need a paper trail from your doctors, surgeons and specialists. It is good to have the docs on your side. :)

 

[GTW27]

So my situation. God moved me out to a literal wilderness setting about a decade ago. Absolute paradise as far as I'm concerned. By back has gotten so bad I cannot work at all. I can barley walk half the days. I have been trying to get SSA disability help for three years and they keep denying me. We will have to appeal again. I am so tired. Now we have to sell this place and move into town because we cannot afford to live here on one income. I have goats that are like pets. I don't know what to do with them. It makes me so sad. Depressed.

I just cashed out what little retirement I had which amounts to beans. I have to 100lb plus dogs that cost a fortune to feed. Two cats. I am so tired and in so much pain I don't know how I will be able to move. And to top it off, the devil is trying to get to my wife by having a coworker to tell her to divorce me. It has ruined a relationship at her work with the person who said this although she kept her feelings to herself and hasn't brought it up to the coworker. Thank God she loves me and knows what I am going through and understands my pain.

I have prayed daily for YEARS to get help for this financially from the Lord. I can't work, I need help. When I prayed with a friend of mine not too long ago I felt The Lord's robe draped upon my shoulders so I thought, "no problem, He has me, we will win the disability case". But I lost it?? Now I have to sell all and move. In daily chronic pain from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to bed. Why is he allowing this? The Lord spoke to me directly many years ago about this pain. He said he would bless me and many people would come to the Lord through me. So I thought well the pain is real, he has blessed me with so much. Land, wife, kids animals. His prophecy is coming true. So two out of there three. He would be with me, he would bless me and many people would come to the Lord through me. No one has came to the Lord through me. Now I feel like he taking his blessings away. Or is he just changing my blessings? I live about 20 miles from town. I can't drive to church any more due to pain.

I don't even know what I am asking for. Prayer sure didn't seem to help. I probably had twenty people praying for me and they still are!!!??? I have given so much in secret to help people. I have given so much to the homeless, money, tents , sleeping bags. I have given so much to pre born and to preachers I support. Why does God not see that? I am literally in tears writing this to strangers. Luckily I have a good friend that used too be on this forum that I am still in contact with. Truman. Anyway christian fellowship is far and few between for me. It robs my joy. Anyway I just had to unload. Thanks for reading this. I am not even asking for prayer as I am so discouraged with how this is all turning out. Carry on lol.

Blessings in Christ Jesus mantis! I remember you, I used to like your post. Believe me I understand your back pain as I also went through that with The Lord. The Lord has already promised us on the financial part and He is faithful, faithful to provide. Speak your faith out loud(His promises) and everyday praise The Lord out loud, in the mist of your suffering and watch what happens. Words out loud are always heard by The Lord and the enemy when he is close. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but The Lord heals them all. I will keep you in prayer for a while as led. There is a time to sit in our afflictions(this draws us closer to The Lord) and a time to stand up with faith and rebuke the enemy(the devourer) which is the source of our afflictions. Be Blessed mantis!

 

[Robert Pate]

So my situation. God moved me out to a literal wilderness setting about a decade ago. Absolute paradise as far as I'm concerned. By back has gotten so bad I cannot work at all. I can barley walk half the days. I have been trying to get SSA disability help for three years and they keep denying me. We will have to appeal again. I am so tired. Now we have to sell this place and move into town because we cannot afford to live here on one income. I have goats that are like pets. I don't know what to do with them. It makes me so sad. Depressed.

I just cashed out what little retirement I had which amounts to beans. I have to 100lb plus dogs that cost a fortune to feed. Two cats. I am so tired and in so much pain I don't know how I will be able to move. And to top it off, the devil is trying to get to my wife by having a coworker to tell her to divorce me. It has ruined a relationship at her work with the person who said this although she kept her feelings to herself and hasn't brought it up to the coworker. Thank God she loves me and knows what I am going through and understands my pain.

I have prayed daily for YEARS to get help for this financially from the Lord. I can't work, I need help. When I prayed with a friend of mine not too long ago I felt The Lord's robe draped upon my shoulders so I thought, "no problem, He has me, we will win the disability case". But I lost it?? Now I have to sell all and move. In daily chronic pain from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to bed. Why is he allowing this? The Lord spoke to me directly many years ago about this pain. He said he would bless me and many people would come to the Lord through me. So I thought well the pain is real, he has blessed me with so much. Land, wife, kids animals. His prophecy is coming true. So two out of there three. He would be with me, he would bless me and many people would come to the Lord through me. No one has came to the Lord through me. Now I feel like he taking his blessings away. Or is he just changing my blessings? I live about 20 miles from town. I can't drive to church any more due to pain.

I don't even know what I am asking for. Prayer sure didn't seem to help. I probably had twenty people praying for me and they still are!!!??? I have given so much in secret to help people. I have given so much to the homeless, money, tents , sleeping bags. I have given so much to pre born and to preachers I support. Why does God not see that? I am literally in tears writing this to strangers. Luckily I have a good friend that used too be on this forum that I am still in contact with. Truman. Anyway christian fellowship is far and few between for me. It robs my joy. Anyway I just had to unload. Thanks for reading this. I am not even asking for prayer as I am so discouraged with how this is all turning out. Carry on lol.

Maybe you are being tested. I have been through tough times, so I know what you are experiencing. Remain faithful regardless of what happens, and it will all come to pass. Read the book of Job, it might help.

 

[TLHKAJ]

Praying for you, @Mantis. I understand long trials. Keep standing and know God is faithful. He always has our best in mind, even when it leads through difficulty. He will work all things for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

 

[@mantis]

Out of curiosity...
Does SSA give a reason for denying your claim? Or do you just get a "NO" and nothing else?
Dr records and x-rays should provide a clear explanation for you....but maybe it's the doctor who has unclear records that thinks idiot SSA staff should understand medical jargon.

Oh yeah it’s a nightmare tho. Just ridiculous they nit pick everything and use it against you. I have a lawyer appealing,…again. Will take another year. Third year in already.

 

[Jn1.Chris]

So my situation. God moved me out to a literal wilderness setting about a decade ago. Absolute paradise as far as I'm concerned. By back has gotten so bad I cannot work at all. I can barley walk half the days. I have been trying to get SSA disability help for three years and they keep denying me. We will have to appeal again. I am so tired. Now we have to sell this place and move into town because we cannot afford to live here on one income. I have goats that are like pets. I don't know what to do with them. It makes me so sad. Depressed.

I just cashed out what little retirement I had which amounts to beans. I have to 100lb plus dogs that cost a fortune to feed. Two cats. I am so tired and in so much pain I don't know how I will be able to move. And to top it off, the devil is trying to get to my wife by having a coworker to tell her to divorce me. It has ruined a relationship at her work with the person who said this although she kept her feelings to herself and hasn't brought it up to the coworker. Thank God she loves me and knows what I am going through and understands my pain.

I have prayed daily for YEARS to get help for this financially from the Lord. I can't work, I need help. When I prayed with a friend of mine not too long ago I felt The Lord's robe draped upon my shoulders so I thought, "no problem, He has me, we will win the disability case". But I lost it?? Now I have to sell all and move. In daily chronic pain from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to bed. Why is he allowing this? The Lord spoke to me directly many years ago about this pain. He said he would bless me and many people would come to the Lord through me. So I thought well the pain is real, he has blessed me with so much. Land, wife, kids animals. His prophecy is coming true. So two out of there three. He would be with me, he would bless me and many people would come to the Lord through me. No one has came to the Lord through me. Now I feel like he taking his blessings away. Or is he just changing my blessings? I live about 20 miles from town. I can't drive to church any more due to pain.

I don't even know what I am asking for. Prayer sure didn't seem to help. I probably had twenty people praying for me and they still are!!!??? I have given so much in secret to help people. I have given so much to the homeless, money, tents , sleeping bags. I have given so much to pre born and to preachers I support. Why does God not see that? I am literally in tears writing this to strangers. Luckily I have a good friend that used too be on this forum that I am still in contact with. Truman. Anyway christian fellowship is far and few between for me. It robs my joy. Anyway I just had to unload. Thanks for reading this. I am not even asking for prayer as I am so discouraged with how this is all turning out. Carry on lol.

The way to get disability is to get a lawyer. You have to play the game. They will take a chunk but it's better than nothing.

 

[Debp]

Oh yeah it’s a nightmare tho. Just ridiculous they nit pick everything and use it against you. I have a lawyer appealing,…again. Will take another year. Third year in already.

SSA will have to pay you retroactively I think.
So you should get a lump sum plus then the monthly checks.

The way to get disability is to get a lawyer. You have to play the game. They will take a chunk but it's better than nothing.

Yes, most people cannot get on it unless they have a lawyer.

 

[dev553344]

Oh yeah it’s a nightmare tho. Just ridiculous they nit pick everything and use it against you. I have a lawyer appealing,…again. Will take another year. Third year in already.

I have applied for disability for my schizophrenia episodes that are disabling. It has been difficult too. I have continually been denied. But I think I figured out why this time and am more hopeful. I should be getting a decision soon on mine. It was an appeal and we had to change the terms of the application for hopes of a better outcome.

When I became disabled my wife left me, I think she did it on advice from family and friends. She took the kids out of state and married someone else 3 months later. And the disabling condition was her fault in a way. She made me do a surgery that got infected and they put me on strong pain killers for a long time until a 2nd surgery was performed, which made my schizophrenia unmanageable. Damaged my brain somewhat.

Anyways, I really hope things look up for you soon, Remember Job's sufferings weren't forever. And I see that in my own life, the Lord has returned a lot of what was taken from me. Not everything, but what was possible was returned.

 

[Jn1.Chris]

SSA will have to pay you retroactively I think.
So you should get a lump sum plus then the monthly checks.


Yes, most people cannot get on it unless they have a lawyer.

I only speak of my experience of my buddy who lives in Virginia. This guy tried and tried to get SSA and they just ran him around in circles “hey come back Tuesday with this form. Hey come back Wednesday with this other form. Hey dude this do that ". meanwhile, the guy is sick has very little resources and is traveling back-and-forth to make all these things happen. Eventually he got a lawyer the lawyer went and kicked everyone’s butt and he was paid retroactive. He got something like $14,000 cause he’s been trying to get SSA for months, of course the lawyer took a big chunk of it but the alternative was zero Dinero

 

[Space_Karen]

Best & worst states for disability approval 2023 | finder.com

Compare the top 5 easiest and hardest states to get approved for disability benefits in the US in .

www.finder.com

Good info.