I called on the Lord for direction and He gave me a couple verses:
Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you...
...Whosoever shall lose his life for my sake shall find it...
What I'm not getting from the Lord is direction towards anything outside of the home. No church ministry. No volunteering. No nothing. No job. And I have accepted that Im not called to have a traditional career.
It's as if God wants me to just be a disciple and wife and nothing else. He's not given me what my routine will look like and I am really struggling with that.
I'm afraid of being a bum. I'm afraid of not having much to say when people ask me what I do. I'm afraid of not being busy with tasks.
In America, we tend to wear busyness like a badge of honor. In a way, though I was less busy than most, I did too. So now it feels like spiritual contortion to just wait on God and learn from Jesus without a plan of action or outside commitments.
Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you...
...Whosoever shall lose his life for my sake shall find it...
What I'm not getting from the Lord is direction towards anything outside of the home. No church ministry. No volunteering. No nothing. No job. And I have accepted that Im not called to have a traditional career.
It's as if God wants me to just be a disciple and wife and nothing else. He's not given me what my routine will look like and I am really struggling with that.
I'm afraid of being a bum. I'm afraid of not having much to say when people ask me what I do. I'm afraid of not being busy with tasks.
In America, we tend to wear busyness like a badge of honor. In a way, though I was less busy than most, I did too. So now it feels like spiritual contortion to just wait on God and learn from Jesus without a plan of action or outside commitments.