Poll: Avoid sex before marriage? Tips on avoiding sex as a celibate

[DuckieLady]

So I don't deter from @Will Joseph's well-thought post... a tip...

Hmm. Honestly I think churches need to teach more about family values and lead people back to that.

Example from Titus 2

Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.


Maybe the church has strayed too much from the old ways and strengthening our values would be a benefit in honoring Christ in our relationships and protecting future marriages.

It is also my personal opinion that dating is not Biblical.

 

[Wynona]

So I don't deter from @Will Joseph's well-thought post... a tip...

Hmm. Honestly I think churches need to teach more about family values and lead people back to that.

Example from Titus 2

Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.


Maybe the church has strayed too much from the old ways and strengthening our values would be a benefit in honoring Christ in our relationships and protecting future marriages.

It is also my personal opinion that dating is not Biblical.

Are you more in favor of courtship? That's one the alternatives Ive heard of to dating. Well, that and arranged marriages.

 

[TLHKAJ]

Thank you. I feel like this used to be common sense.

Yes, it was, once upon a time. It's the mindset I went into my dating years with. For me, though, there were a lot of other things going on around that, which I wasn't aware of. But that's another thread.

 

[TLHKAJ]

Well, I'm glad you got bounced over here.

Lol .....thank you, Truman! That means a lot to me.

 

[TLHKAJ]

Are you more in favor of courtship? That's one the alternatives Ive heard of to dating. Well, that and arranged marriages.

Oh man .....arranged marriages have some major problems (for the most part). That's the "other thread" I was getting at. My marriage was set up by the cult to bring together preferred bloodlines. (Combining generational iniquities into future generations.) Yikes!!

 

[DuckieLady]

Yes, it was, once upon a time. It's the mindset I went into my dating years with. For me, though, there were a lot of other things going on around that, which I wasn't aware of. But that's another thread.

Courtship in public view, yes, and like Samson. He met the girl and then he married her. (Judges 14)

I think dating leads to mistakes and sexual immorality. I think arranged marriages could be good, if God is in it.

But from what I understand of marriage in the Bible, the couple met and the parents were often involved in some way, and then they started their family.

 

[marks]

It is also my personal opinion that dating is not Biblical.

I happen to share your opinion.

Much love!

 

[marks]

Courtship in public view, yes, and like Samson. He met the girl and then he married her. (Judges 14)

I think dating leads to mistakes and sexual immorality. I think arranged marriages could be good, if God is in it.

But from what I understand of marriage in the Bible, the couple met and the parents were often involved in some way, and then they started their family.

I met my wife in History class. We didn't date, but we did hang out together, at school, with friends and stuff, and it didn't take me long at all to know this was the woman I wanted to marry. But it did take 10 years for it to happen.

Much love!

 

[Wynona]

Courtship in public view, yes, and like Samson. He met the girl and then he married her. (Judges 14)

I think dating leads to mistakes and sexual immorality. I think arranged marriages could be good, if God is in it.

But from what I understand of marriage in the Bible, the couple met and the parents were often involved in some way, and then they started their family.

I actually know exactly what you mean. The singer, Jamie Grace did it exactly as you described and talked about it on her YouTube channel. They met, they talked with both sets of parents, and were married shortly.

I am not against dating but can definitely see the benefits of doing it that way.

 

[TLHKAJ]

Courtship in public view, yes, and like Samson. He met the girl and then he married her. (Judges 14)

I think dating leads to mistakes and sexual immorality. I think arranged marriages could be good, if God is in it.

But from what I understand of marriage in the Bible, the couple met and the parents were often involved in some way, and then they started their family.

Yes, and for the most part those were good ...unless some deception got in the way and a man ended up with another wife he didn't desire. lol

 

[DuckieLady]

I met my wife in History class. We didn't date, but we did hang out together, at school, with friends and stuff, and it didn't take me long at all to know this was the woman I wanted to marry. But it did take 10 years for it to happen.

Much love!

I love this. Proof that God can just do it himself.

I actually know exactly what you mean. The singer, Jamie Grace did it exactly as you described and talked about it on her YouTube channel. They met, they talked with both sets of parents, and were married shortly.

I am not against dating but can definitely see the benefits of doing it that way.

That to me sounds like the better way. People can do what they want but dating just isn't for me.

I would rather have a traditional marriage anointed by God and let Him do it. Part of that is the understanding I have not made good choices and my father can be too relaxed.

 

[marks]

I actually know exactly what you mean. The singer, Jamie Grace did it exactly as you described and talked about it on her YouTube channel. They met, they talked with both sets of parents, and were married shortly.

I am not against dating but can definitely see the benefits of doing it that way.

And it worked out, I'm assuming? I hope so!

I draw a distinction between dating and courting. To me dating is like shopping around, and courting has only one focus, determining whether to marry this person.

Much love!

 

[Wynona]

And it worked out, I'm assuming? I hope so!

I draw a distinction between dating and courting. To me dating is like shopping around, and courting has only one focus, determining whether to marry this person.

Much love!

Yes, they have a beautiful family now.

I have understood for a long time now that the purpose of dating is for marriage.

But I guess I call it dating because that is what was around me.

Relationships either end in breakup or marriage, so it makes sense to be intentional if you're aiming to do right by others.

Right now I am thinking if we had courted, or rather had I had that mindset and set that standard, it could have saved a lot of the insecurity and drama that was a part of our year of dating.

It would have helped me ignore all those opinions of those who thought we were marrying too early, including my parents. And it would have set my man at ease more, so there'd be less arguing.

I didn't have a lot of good guidance in my dating years and in the early years of my marriage. Just the idea that marriage young was a good thing, contrary to what society says.

 

[DuckieLady]

Yes, they have a beautiful family now.

I have understood for a long time now that the purpose of dating is for marriage.

But I guess I call it dating because that is what was around me.

Relationships either end in breakup or marriage, so it makes sense to be intentional if you're aiming to do right by others.

Right now I am thinking if we had courted, or rather had I had that mindset and set that standard, it could have saved a lot of the insecurity and drama that was a part of our year of dating.

It would have helped me ignore all those opinions of those who thought we were marrying too early, including my parents. And it would have set my man at ease more, so there'd be less arguing.

I didn't have a lot of good guidance in my dating years and in the early years of my marriage. Just the idea that marriage young was a good thing, contrary to what society says.

So much of the time I wish that's what we were taught. I think dating involves too much openness and closeness to where it can lead to a lot of trauma for younger women.

If we stuck to traditional ways, it would protected us from so much heartache.

You should only give yourself to the one person you will trust and rely on for the rest of your life.

But there wasn't any intention, like you said, or much in the way of training.

 

[Mantis]

My old pastor left no stone unturned when it came to reaching the lost. He was fearless...a great leader. However, when he suggested we go preach to the strippers, even I was wise enough to know my wife would have a problem with it. He must've realized it was a bad idea as he didn't pursue it. Lol

We use to have a strip club called “the office”, you know “honey I’m going to the office, be home late”. Well a jealous wife burned it to the ground. I thought that was awesome although she did get arrested. I know we are suppose to let the lord revenge for us I still get a warm fuzzy feeling when a strip club burns down lol.

 

[DuckieLady]

We use to have a strip club called “the office”, you know “honey I’m going to the office, be home late”. Well a jealous wife burned it to the ground. I thought that was awesome although she did get arrested. I know we are suppose to let the lord revenge for us I still get a warm fuzzy feeling when a strip club burns down lol.

I apparently prayed as a child that one would as we were driving by and it did the next morning. (Or was gone by morning. Not sure which.) Lol no idea what caused it though

 

[marks]

Relationships either end in breakup or marriage, so it makes sense to be intentional if you're aiming to do right by others.

I guess that the thing I think of, that for many, dating is playtime. They are not aiming to do right.

Much love!

 

[Wynona]

So much of the time I wish that's what we were taught. I think dating involves too much openness and closeness to where it can lead to a lot of trauma for younger women.

If we stuck to traditional ways, it would protected us from so much heartache.

You should only give yourself to the one person you will trust and rely on for the rest of your life.

But there wasn't any intention, like you said, or much in the way of training.

I have had a lot of bad advice and bad advisors but fortunately, I fell in love with the Lord and the Bible at 14, so I always had a counterweight of reason.

There is a website called Boundless, and it produced articles that helped me in the area of being marriage minded.

And you're not lying about the trauma younger women go through. I have seen younger women get mistreated through dating.

In my opinion, there is even worse in the form of online dating. A lot of crooks are online, I don't recommend it.

 

[Lambano]

2) Don't reduce porn - eliminate it!

Same for number 4, “Reduce drug use”. I’m surprised that even needed to be said.

 

[DuckieLady]

Some women are prostitutes