potluck advice

[lilygrace]

a family member signed me up to make something for a church lunch i dont feel like it and i dont know if i want to go to the lunch. i ddint know they were going to do that. i have schoolwork
would it be rude to cancel? the church staff thinks it was me since my information was used.

 

[farouk]

a family member signed me up to make something for a church lunch i dont feel like it and i dont know if i want to go to the lunch. i ddint know they were going to do that. i have schoolwork
would it be rude to cancel? the church staff thinks it was me since my information was used.

Hi @lilygrace It's likely that, whether or not you manage to meet with the church friends on that occasion, they would be delighted if they knew that you are reading your Bible every day and seeking to understand God's will for you.

If you do cancel, they would be encouraged if you could assure them that you appreciated God's Word and His love in Christ.

 

[lilygrace]

they arent my friends though

 

[farouk]

they arent my friends though

@lilygrace Well, if you did meet them, we hope they would be friendly; Christians like that often are to newcomers.

 

[lilygrace]

i dont think ill go. i dont feel like i can be myself there. it upsets me they signed me up without asking me. feels disrespectful of me

 

[Rita]

Personally I would be upset if someone signed me up for something without asking, obviously that person has spoken to you because you know about it, we’re you able to convey that they should have asked first. You could contact the church and relay that someone else added your name without checking and your very sorry but you are not available. You could consider making something and passing in onto the person who signed you up, they could take it along for you.
As far as I am concerned it was rude for the person to sign you up without asking, they should have given you the information about the lunch and allowed you to make your own decision.
Rita

 

[lilygrace]

Personally I would be upset if someone signed me up for something without asking, obviously that person has spoken to you because you know about it, we’re you able to convey that they should have asked first. You could contact the church and relay that someone else added your name without checking and your very sorry but you are not available. You could consider making something and passing in onto the person who signed you up, they could take it along for you.
As far as I am concerned it was rude for the person to sign you up without asking, they should have given you the information about the lunch and allowed you to make your own decision.
Rita

Yes. She hasn't spoken to me about it. I was sent an email confirmation that i was signed up. It was a surprise for me.

 

[Rita]

Can you email her back, explaining that you don’t think you can attend and would prefer to be taken off the list. You could add that if things change you will let her know. Perhaps adding that you would prefer to be asked first so that you can confirm if you can make it or not.

 

[Pythagorean12]

a family member signed me up to make something for a church lunch i dont feel like it and i dont know if i want to go to the lunch. i ddint know they were going to do that. i have schoolwork
would it be rude to cancel? the church staff thinks it was me since my information was used.

Did your family member sign up to make something?

Why cancel? You literally didn't sign up for this.

If you don't want to do this, don't do it. And don't feel responsible or guilty either.
This is all on your family member alone.

Did you ask them why they did this?

 

[Heart2Soul]

a family member signed me up to make something for a church lunch i dont feel like it and i dont know if i want to go to the lunch. i ddint know they were going to do that. i have schoolwork
would it be rude to cancel? the church staff thinks it was me since my information was used.

Since it was a family member who signed you up then just let that person know you can't and then it would be upon her or him to bring what they committed for you to bring

 

[Heart2Soul]

Did your family member sign up to make something?

Why cancel? You literally didn't sign up for this.

If you don't want to do this, don't do it. And don't feel responsible or guilty either.
This is all on your family member alone.

Did you ask them why they did this?

Exactly:)

 

[TLHKAJ]

Hi sis @lilygrace. I agree with the advices given here already. You're under no obligation to even bring a dish when you weren't the one who put your name on the list. It was extremely rude and presumptuous of them to decide that for you!

I'd inform church staff that a family member put your name on the list without asking you first if you'd be available. They should understand that.
Don't feel guilty.
#1. You didn't want to go and don't feel comfortable there in the first place.
#2. You have schoolwork that needs to be finished.

Spend the day doing what you need or want to do.

I do have other thoughts because this goes much deeper. I'll message you soon.
Much love....hugs, too

 

[quietthinker]

they arent my friends though

don't allow yourself to be pushed into something you don't want or don't feel comfortable with....church or no church!

 

[Truth7t7]

a family member signed me up to make something for a church lunch i dont feel like it and i dont know if i want to go to the lunch. i ddint know they were going to do that. i have schoolwork
would it be rude to cancel? the church staff thinks it was me since my information was used.

Show up and bring paper plates, will anybody know the difference? :)

 

[Jay Ross]

a family member signed me up to make something for a church lunch i dont feel like it and i dont know if i want to go to the lunch. i ddint know they were going to do that. i have schoolwork
would it be rude to cancel? the church staff thinks it was me since my information was used.

Hi lilygrace,

Perhaps instead of asking forum members for confirmation as to how you should react to someone signing you up to to make something for a church lunch, you should be asking God what you should be doing in the circumstance that you find yourself in at the moment.

If you have school work to do, then it sounds like you are not in a position to make something for the church lunch, as the domain of the kitchen in your household is not yours to use without permission in this circumstance.

I also sense that you have been to this church before and that the polite response to the expectation of the church of you making something for a church lunch, is to simple respond to the email, that you have received, stating the facts, that you did not personally commit yourself to make something for the church lunch and that the commitment was given by someone else without your permission. That is all of the correspondence that you need to enter into. If the church comes back still with an expectation that you will make something for the church lunch, simply ignore those responses. The problem is no longer yours with regards to the commitment that someone else has made using your personal information. If the church still insists that you should meet their expectation of making and bringing something to that lunch, then the problem is the churches to deal with and not yours. This is something that is not worth becoming angry about.

As to whether or not you should attend the church lunch, seek God's answer to that particular question and follow God's leading on this matter.

May the Lord draw you into the right pathway that you should be journeying on with respect to your journey with Christ. May you know God's Blessing in your life as you walk hand in hand with Christ as He helps you to renew your mind, as you put on the personhood that He has created for you from the very start.

Shalom

 

[TLHKAJ]

Brother @Jay Ross, I agree with your advice in general. But she isn't angry. Our sister is so very considerate of others, she often overlooks her own needs. She's just not an angry person. And I believe it's healthy to seek the counsel of our brothers and sisters in Christ.

In Christ's love... T

 

[Jay Ross]

Brother @Jay Ross, I agree with your advice in general. But she isn't angry. Our sister is so very considerate of others, she often overlooks her own needs. She's just not an angry person. And I believe it's healthy to seek the counsel of our brothers and sisters in Christ.

In Christ's love... T

If that is the case, it seems to me that she is attending the wrong church to start with by the sounds of it.

As to your objection to my sentence that: -

This is something that is not worth becoming angry about.

Perhaps if it had read: -

"This is something that is not worth becoming agitated/stressed about."​

it would have been more acceptable for you.

Also your objection to my statement that"-

. . . instead of asking forum members for confirmation as to how you should react . . .

is noted, but an open forum is not the best place to receive good advice from. Know what I mean?

Have a nice day now.

 

[lilygrace]

By your logic @Jay Ross then perhaps none of us need this forum.
It's online after all.

 

[lilygrace]

The church might be right for me if i attended it with healthy family members. It seems they feel more pressured to make something. So therefore i am projected to make something. I am neutral to this church. I don't think they are bad people. I might make a box cake. Low pressure.

 

[Pythagorean12]

If that is the case, it seems to me that she is attending the wrong church to start with by the sounds of it.

As to your objection to my sentence that: -

Perhaps if it had read: -

"This is something that is not worth becoming agitated/stressed about."​

it would have been more acceptable for you.

Also your objection to my statement that"-

is noted, but an open forum is not the best place to receive good advice from. Know what I mean?

Have a nice day now.

Do you know what you mean as to your own culpability in that last statement?

And after a protracted post prior. Which you now seem to be upset over when someone questions your advice.