Recovery from complex childhood abuse'

[Hepzibah]

Sorry I mixed things up between my family and pastors. My mind is being stretched to the limit at the moment with so much information coming in.

 

[Hepzibah]

No guilt, no shame @Hepzibah.

Thanks, yes I have been delivered from a huge weight of shame just these last few weeks.

 

[Hepzibah]

When I was freed from my fleshiness, or whatever I should call it I don't really know, but there came the time when I realized that though my problems seemed over, that there was nothing I could do for others. "God freed me, I hope He will do the same for you." I had friends who had similar struggles. What could I give to them?

I prayed that God would give me the means to share this. It was a few days later that season ended, but what I learned was that by faith in walking in the Spirit, the flesh could be fully transcended. Due to my inconsistency of faith, I find myself not walking in the Spirit, and during such times, the physical, neurological healing is manifest, and and I see how far He has brought me.

I didn't expect that would be my answer to my prayer, but there it is, and now I know God both lifts us up, and leads us up. By faith we can walk in the Spirit.

Much love!

A huge Amen to this! When walking in the Spirit, the power of God is upon us, to convict others of their sinfulness, like the story of Charles Finney in the factory.

 

[Hepzibah]

Having further thoughts about the situation in churches, and I think that rather than try to train leaders on how to deal with people with cPTSD, I think it would work better to warn them of the harm that can be done due to others not having knowledge of the condition.

1) Not to take for granted that once a person comes to Christ, their healing will automatically take place, and voicing this is harmful to people who already have a very low opinion of themselves with a lot of shame and guilt already.

2) cPTSD is a malfunction of the neurological system. They should be treat like anyone with a physical illness.

3) These people have most likely never received love in their lives and a little goes a long way in compassionate understanding.

4) These people once recovered are a great asset to any organization and especially to the kingdom of God.

5) It is very possible that these people will still be in dissociation and a study of this will help prevent further harm to them.

6) These people are having a normal reaction to a very abnormal family life. They are not 'disordered', it is rather the people who caused the harm are and it includes neglect also.

 

[GTW27]

Blessings in Christ Jesus. These things I understand. I can relate to the pain and the unbearable suffering. In addition to the childhood things, the beginning of my calling was to suffer more than a man can bare. The only way through this was to hang on to The Lord tightly. The reason I am writing this today is to give hope to those in here. I have found the further I have walked on this journey the less of me that remains. Some where along this journey The Lord has taken from me all this pain and replaced it with Himself. And being in Him is the joy unspeakable and the peace that surpasses understanding. I do not say that I do not have sorrow and weeping but it not mine alone. It is weeping for the state of man.

 

[Hepzibah]

@GTW27 @marks @PS95 @TLHKAJ

I am listening to this at the moment:

Tim Fletcher is coaching addicts with CPTSD, but most of what he says applies to all CPTSD I think. Aren't we addicted to our coping mechanisms? I am finding it very helpful.

 

[MorningDance13]

@Pearl

I get the impression that the woman you spoke about had a history of domestic violence? This is accepted as PTSD if it was severe but it is not the same thing as cPTSD.

However I agree with the church who said no public testimony containing details and it was on her own head for leaving. This may or may not be suitable for a small group setting but anyway, she was not very wise in wanting to go 'public' like that, in person.

The big thing that is not understood, is the power of love especially in a group setting towards the victims. This is all that is required - just make them feel accepted and loved - not easy in this era of church life. People will say oh yes we love the people in our church without any concept of how love was shown in the early church.

If severely traumatized people did get the level of healing love from your church, believe me, word would get round and your congregation would swell very quickly.

"Severity" is highly subjective.
Something that I personally might consider severe emotional and psychological abuse might not even be noticed by another person.

People get Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder from domestic violence all the time.

 

[MorningDance13]

Thank you PS95.

It sounds to me, forgive me if I am wrong, that what God did was take you through a time of maturity, both in understanding the Bible better and in emotional maturity through showing you your heart, bringing the need for repentance and forgiveness, and praise God for the transformation.

I think I have also been taken on this journey too, some time ago and really was brought to an end of myself so that I learned how to depend on no-one but God alone. I was stripped of all self confidence and thoughts that I could follow Him in my own strength in any measure at all. It was a very humbling time. I also had a time when in three days the scriptures were opened out to ne in a previous unknown way, whereby I learned more in three days than the seventeen years previously. It was a very blessed time.

But what I am taking about is a revelation of the harm that was done to me, not just in childhood but also in adulthood, which for some reason has been kept covered in my subconscious, with only glimpses of it and without full understanding that I had coping mechanisms I knew nothing about like the urge to isolate.

marks said it very well that "Complex PTSD is when your brain develops during extremely adverse circumstances, combinations of neglect and abuse and other traumas, resulting in maldevelopment of your various brain structures. Some reactions become hyperacentuated."

So I found out that there is physical damage that needs repairing, and that recovery involves psycho-education and work done to put that damage right. I know that God is healing me through this but in a way that I can help others. This has also been the case with my physical ailments, including untreated Lyme Disease and sickness from early mercury poisoning. I have had to learn to bio-hack myself especially when I am hypersensitive to all medications so must use natural means with no medical help.

So instead of getting miraculous healing, I can now help others to regain their health because of the studying I had to do if they are not in the position perhaps through trauma themselves, to seek diving healing. Well that is of course if God still heals that way.

This issue has tested my faith at times but I was able to carry on in the faith as I know that every-time I question God's love for me He has proven me wrong in my doubts.

I'd like to point out that the brain is still developing it pretty much looks like until we are 25 years old.
So it's not just trauma that we go through before the age of 10 but trauma that we go through up
through the age of 25 that could really interfere with the brain physically forming correctly.
I did grow up in a neglectful and invalidating family of origin which set me up to get involved with an abusive man for a number of years that I ended up marrying and then divorcing.
I'm pretty sure I did have complex post-traumatic stress disorder at some point on the spectrum by the time I was 16 but then when I met this person who was doing horrible horrible things much much worse I mean you know comparing is difficult because everything subjective but it was much worse than my parents that really like I used the phrase carved scars into my psyche.

 

[MorningDance13]

@GTW27 @marks @PS95 @TLHKAJ

I am listening to this at the moment:

Tim Fletcher is coaching addicts with CPTSD, but most of what he says applies to all CPTSD I think. Aren't we addicted to our coping mechanisms? I am finding it very helpful.

Whoa! You just blew my mind! I've probably heard that before because I've been attempting to walk a recovery path on and off for 36 and a half years but the concept of being addicted to our coping mechanisms is an epiphany for me.