Thank you for the suggestion. Most of you here wouldn't know this, but this is probably my 14th online Christian Community. That's right, I've tried around 14 different online Christian Communities. There have been other people who have tried to help me find a local Church. They couldn't help me! I've also had people try to help me find a meetup group, or even someone to date. They couldn't help me. You see the problem isn't just the local Churches. The problem is the whole community. I just happen to live in a very snobby community, where you are either IN or your OUT. I don't think this community got this way over night. When my Grandparents were young and still alive, they found groups of people they could fit in. When my parents were younger, they also found groups of people they could fit in with. But when I was going through Elementary, Middle School, and High School, things just kept getting worse and worse. Gradually we as an entire family became excluded, as my generation gained control of everything. My parents are old, and my grandparents are dead. These days my parents are only concerned about serving, and looking forward to going to heaven. They have given up on Church completely. As for me, you could say the same thing. There is really nothing you can do when your excluded by the community. It's really hard to explain it logically. But I guess the best way to explain it is like this. You know what it is like when you are around someone that you click with. And you know what it is like when you are around someone that you don't click with. Now just imagine if you couldn't click with anybody. That's how my life is.
I was out of church for about 7 years after being asked to bring a word to a Pastor that he didn't want to receive, yet proved accurate. His church shrunk from 150 to 15 as God moved to correct the issue.
Now I am back in church - not because there are no problems, but because He has a work for me to do.
I know we are different but if you work on your relationship with Him to the point that you have confidence to walk with integrity regardless of the way you are related to, then you are on a good path.
The way of righteousness can be lonely and we need to shun self pity and see it for the evil it is.
So work on your own devotional life - take time out to be with Him - consume the Scriptures - know who you are in Him.
Two scriptures come to mind - Jeremiah 15....
10 Woe is me, my mother, that thou hast borne me a man of strife and a man of contention to the whole earth! I have neither lent on usury, nor men have lent to me on usury; yet every one of them doth curse me.
11 The Lord said, Verily it shall be well with thy remnant; verily I will cause the enemy to entreat thee well in the time of evil and in the time of affliction.
12 Shall iron break the northern iron and the steel?
13 Thy substance and thy treasures will I give to the spoil without price, and that for all thy sins, even in all thy borders.
14 And I will make thee to pass with thine enemies into a land which thou knowest not: for a fire is kindled in mine anger, which shall burn upon you.
15 O Lord, thou knowest: remember me, and visit me, and revenge me of my persecutors; take me not away in thy longsuffering: know that for thy sake I have suffered rebuke.
16 Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart: for I am called by thy name, O Lord God of hosts.
17 I sat not in the assembly of the mockers, nor rejoiced; I sat alone because of thy hand: for thou hast filled me with indignation.
18 Why is my pain perpetual, and my wound incurable, which refuseth to be healed? wilt thou be altogether unto me as a liar, and as waters that fail?
19 Therefore thus saith the Lord, If thou return, then will I bring thee again, and thou shalt stand before me: and if thou take forth the precious from the vile, thou shalt be as my mouth: let them return unto thee; but return not thou unto them.
20 And I will make thee unto this people a fenced brasen wall: and they shall fight against thee, but they shall not prevail against thee: for I am with thee to save thee and to deliver thee, saith the Lord.
21 And I will deliver thee out of the hand of the wicked, and I will redeem thee out of the hand of the terrible.
... and from Galatians 3.
26 For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus.
27 For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ.
28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
29 And if ye be Christ's, then are ye Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise.
This passage is about identity - knowing who you are and the confidence that brings.
Actually I was wondering if you have been baptised ???