Skitzaffective
- Thread starter Kayla McCanny
- Start date
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Last night was rough for me. I got maybe an hour of restless sleep. My body in constant fight or flight cortisol mode. I prayed and quoted scripture in my head going back and forth with this demon rebuking demonic oppression. Pressing through while I felt like my body was going to give out on me. My heart racing. I told myself romans 8:28 God works things out for the good of those who love thinking hey maybe its just cardio and good for me who knows, but I was sweating and trying to breathe. I told myself not even life or death can separate me from God's love romans 8:31-32 and if I die I die. I prayed for the miracle of sleep and waking up. I prayed for peace in my mind, heart and body. My nervous system a wreck. I told myself I won't wake my parents up because my mom has to work in the morning and needs her sleep. So I battled with it all night. Praying and rebuking. Telling myself all this can go away right now, but it didn't. My body feeling as if I was dragged down a street literally feels that way. My body exhausted, but won't sleep. Know God know peace. I prayed all night for it. Anxiety out of control. I'm still trying to cope. I'm not sweating, my heart is medium okay. My body in fight or flight still and it's noon here. On christ the solid rock I stand. If all I can do is stand I'm doing it with all my might, but my body is torturing me. My heart and flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalms 73. I need peace. I need my body to rest, not be in panic mode. I'm doing all I can do. I'm trying to speak life over myself. That God adds more life to me. Renewing my mind, heart and body. My body is just stuck in panic mode. If you've never had a skitz episode be thankful. I use to be normal.telling myself I can get better. This is only a season. It's been over a year. I've been playing worship music over in my mind just hanging on. Just grasping. Wanting to pull my hair and scream. Resisting. I don't want to be crazy. Asking God for strength. Hoping I can get a power nap today and hoping this stops happening. Telling myself my deliver is coming my deliver is standing by. My heart is still beating a bit fast. Trying to breathe calmly. Waiting to just be okay again. Hoping when I listen I won't hear him anymore. Prayed that all night.
amigo de christo
Well-Known Member
Kayla , saul had a tormenting spirit .
The question you are going to have to ask yourself
is what do you spend most of your time focused on and doing .
Are you maybe into politics and hoping in man .
How often are you in the bible and focused on scipture .
You are loved and shall be prayed for as well .
Maybe you are trusting too much in science and physcology and that is why you are being run around so much .
Time for the simple . Time for the TRUTH .
SO allow me some words . Physcology , all that sigmund freud stuff was never anything but the carnal wisdom of man .
Let us r eturn to childlike faith again . So much of the worlds knowledge can literally destroy one .
Thanks. Yah I haven't been into the psychology stuff. I've been reading my Bible In the morning. That's how I got those verses in my head. I can't read when it is happening so I try to read my Bible everyday and I read also Christian books instead of tv. I don't want to accept this as my lot in life. I've been tempted to think that, but Jeremiah 29:11-15 tells me God's plan for me isn't this. I don't understand it.
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I know it's difficult but you need to try to calm down. You are only keeping your fight or flight mode going continually by not calming down. So that's why it won't shut off... adrenaline keeps going and keeps you in panic mode.
Try doing slow deep breaths like this: breathe in to a count of four...then hold your breath for about two seconds. Then release your breathe slowly to the count of four. Do this for about two or three minutes. That will tell your nervous system you are not in panic mode anymore. Adrenaline will stop flooding.
Easy for you to say. You don't have a voice tormenting you. I do breathing exercises. It's like that clip on Dennis the minnus movie 1993. Where the bad guy is trying to sleep, but his blanket is on fire. He keeps trying to sleep, but starts twitching and trying to ignore it. Minus the screaming part.That's exactly how it is. Sorry I'm just upset. I'm at a loss. Trying my best. I can't fight this alone.
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