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Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by shnarkle, Aug 27, 2019.

  1. shnarkle

    shnarkle Well-Known Member

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    The "Boomerang Skippy-Yang Stone" from Wham-O

    "Do you like skipping stones, but wish you didn't have to spend so much time looking for that perfect rock only to throw it away forever? Remember how much fun that boomerang was until it flew into the pond and sank to the bottom? Well those days are over!

    Engineered from a durable, but lightweight plastic polymer specifically designed with the enthusiast in mind. A sleek aerodynamic hard(but not too sharp), yet buoyant contoured boomerang-shaped disc combines the best aspects of rock skipping and boomerang throwing fun.

    All of your favorite Day-Glo colors so you'll never lose them.

    Handy holster and protective "combat gear" sold separately while supplies last. Not sold in stores.

    *Large bodies of water, Coast Guard approved boat, floatation equipment , etc. not included.

    **Always wear appropriate clothing and a CC approved life vest if necessary. Always use extreme caution when using this fun for the whole family Wham-O product.

    ***Not recommended for anyone who bruises easy.

    ****Not recommended for anyone who hasn't yet developed, or no longer has lightening fast reflexes.

    ****Warning! Severe bodily injury possible; including but not limited to: loss of sight, hematoma, lacerations, concussion, scalping, paralysis, coma, death,

    ****Disclaimer: Not responsible for injury or death as a result of the proper or improper use of this awesome Wham-O product

    Go to 'Whamm-O.com to download arbitration agreements

    Illegal in California, Massachusetts, and Washington D.C.

    It is a felony to operate, or possess this toy with or without intent to distribute, or for monetary gain. Converting this toy into a weapon punishable with 10 years to life and fines up to $500,000.00


    Does anyone know what the perfect skipping stone looks like? What would be the perfect weight, the perfect diameter, the perfect thickness? Is it better to throw them with the flatter side up or down? I considered these as well as many other questions while a few friends and I tossed randomly selected stones from a lake side retreat we had discovered years earlier.
    There was no doubt in my mind that a superior skill in delivering the stones across the surface of the water was evident in my peers, and woefully lacking in myself.

    Of course my first instinct was to assume that they just had a better eye for the best shaped skipping stones hence my pondering a way to equalize our liquid playing field.

    My stones tended to sail over the water, take one bounce, followed by two short skips before sinking below the surface into unremarkable oblivion.

    My buddy Bob had something approaching mythological proportions. His deft skill at not only getting the stones to skip numerous times across the lake, but to literally skip completely across an immense body of water only to continue skipping up an embankment on the other side was astounding.

    My stones were still quite visible as they dropped below the surface while his would stretch well beyond the vanishing point of the naked eye only to mark their whereabouts as they tapped the surface of the water, and the puffs of dust like some stone age tracer on that distant shore.


    I was mindlessly surfing the net recently and stumbled upon the title of a Christian rock band called "Casting Crowns".

    Having recently spent a while reading a blog populated by Christians analyzing (or were they anal-izing?) the finer points of Michelle Wolf's sense of humor, and squabbling between each other over the superiority or their brand of Christianity; I couldn't help see the title in a different light.

    The original idea is of the saved "believer" being crowned in God's kingdom, but admitting that they are not worthy and casting their crowns at the feet of Christ instead as they bow in humble worship.

    The vitriol of the blog left me with a picture of Christians casting their crowns away in disgust at the realization that the author was using figurative language to describe something infinitely more significant in value; a value that had been eclipsed by their own literal lust for material wealth and attention.

    This of course would be immediately followed by a new name to symbolize their reality: Casting Stones


    As she is brought before the crowd with stones
    ready to hurl, accusations are read
    in the faces of those who are
    condemning already.

    It is in the heart of the Accuser
    that the accused stand convicted.
    The exposed sin conceals
    what the desperately wicked
    have hidden in deceptive
    self condemning condemnation.


    On some very real level, Satan and the Holy Spirit are personifications of the opposing forces at work in the impenetrable depths of our hearts.

    When the Holy Spirit convicts someone it is with compassion. Only God knows how truly deceptive the human heart is, and mercifully spares us from seeing the depths of our own depravity. However, he will show us enough to make the gift of repentance a “no-brainer”, and only when a child of God is ready to accept that gift.

    Some of us aren’t there yet, and as Paul so aptly puts it, the law will never lead any of us to salvation. Pointing out the transgressions of others is pointless without the gospel message.
    Where is the gospel message? Does anyone even know what the gospel message is anymore? Does anyone know how to manifest it in their lives, or have we all become experts at seeing its absence in those around us?

    Satan’s modus operandi has a different aim and result. He works with good intentions, and his works he eagerly displays. He wants those works seen. It matters not if he is blamed or his character maligned as those who accuse him heap upon him the penultimate form of praise through imitation of his condescending self righteous hatred.

    There can be nothing that can bring him more satisfaction than the attention he receives witnessing the corrosive self destruction of the image of God. Even though it mirrors what is going on within his own heart, it urges his ambition, and reminds him that his own time is short. It consumes him from within till he is reduced to ashes.

    Examples of these two outcomes can be seen in Peter who repents, and suggests that we have a defense for our faith (not to be confused with the offense of our faith), and Judas who’s lust for attention and power compelled his collusion with those who would push his reputation up only to bash it, along with his disgorged, entrails on the rocks below.

    The gospel forces us to stare into the eyes of the crucified Christ as he cries that our ignorance be mercifully forgiven. While Satan’s schadenfreude implants a lust for sarcasm(from the Greek: “to tear flesh”) which compels us to knowingly profane, and condemn the image of God in our neighbors.

    There will be great wailing and gnashing of teeth, but the world can’t wait for that day to begin. So as our gall bladders hoard stones we bare our teeth, and shamelessly pretend we’re smiling