The happy thread
- Thread starter djstav
- Start date
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I have a mow the grass hat and a chauffeur my wife hat too . I am a man of many hats .
pandaflower
Well-Known Member
Ok, I don't want to see any of my friends out there getting in trouble because you were unaware of some specific laws here in Alabama. Some I guess go without saying, others make you stop and go "Hmmm"? So before you call me for help to come and get you out of jail, here are some laws in our state:
1. You must have windshield wipers on your Car.
(Reasonable, but anything is possible on 431)
2. In Mobile, it's illegal to spit orange peels onto the sidewalk
( So, it's okay to throw banana peels down???)
3. Putting salt on a railroad track can be punishable by death.
(What about sugar???)
Actually this one was explained. If a train goes through a pasture or a place with cows, they will lick it off of the tracks. This could get real messy if a train came through. But the Death Penalty"? For the cow of course.
4. 4. Boogers must not be flicked into the wind.
(So it's okay to flick against the wind?) Hmmm?
5. It's illegal to impersonate a priest.
(Is this okay in other states?)
6. It's illegal to wear a fake mustache in church because it could cause laughter.
( It doesn't cause laughter anywhere else? Plus, where does it say this in the Bible? I challenge you to find it!))
7. It is illegal to dress like a nun
(These are taking away all of my Halloween options!!! Plus, there goes the idea of ever performing Sister Act on stage in Alabama!)
8. In Mobile, it's illegal to spray silly string.
(Probably because of Mardi Gras. They didn't say we couldn't throw boogers into the air if it wasn't windy, right?)
9. In Mobile, it is illegal for women to wear high heels in a City Park.
(Can men wear them?)
10. Confetti is banned in Mobile
(Between Mobile and the religious laws, we just can't have any fun!)
11. In Montgomery, it's illegal to open an umbrella on a street.
( I guess I need to remember a rain poncho next time I go to Montgomery, or either duck from awning to awning!)
12. It's illegal to wear a mask in public.
(I've been seeing a lot of juvenile delinquents on Halloween. Shame, Shame. I bet their supplier is Wal-Mart! How does Wicked Halloween ever get a business license in Alabama with this, the nuns, the clergy and the moustaches?)
13. It's illegal to put an ice cream cone in your back pocket.
(They say horse thieves used to do this a lot. Seen any horse thieves lately? I hope they don't ban ice cream next. Watch out Dairy Queen, they're coming for you!)
14. It’s a Crime to Tie an Alligator to a Fire Hydrant
( Yeah, they might want the ice cream in your pocket too!)
15. No Ice Cream in Your Back Pocket on Sundays
( Yep, that must be the days all those horse thieves get out of the house)
16. It’s Illegal to Pretend to Be Married at a Hotel
( Oh my, we can't pretend to use our imaginations to be anything around here. Next we won't even be allowed to dress up in our Superman pajamas)
17. In Lee County, it's illegal to sell peanuts after sundown on Wednesdays.
( But I guess it's okay in Lee County to spit your orange peels on the ground on Wednesday after sundown?!?!?)
18. Bear wrestling matches are illegal
( Next time this happens, I want to meet the policeman who stepped in and put a stop to it!)
19. Dominoes must not be played on Sundays
( This ruined my day today...)
20. Playing Cards with a Native American is (Technically) Illegal
( Why, can someone explain this? They own the casinos in this state. Is this entrapment?)
21. It is illegal to drive blindfolded.
( What state is this legal in? Apparently we need to hand out some flyers on 431! Oh yeah, that's right they couldn't read them, they are blindfolded)
22.In Mobile, bathing in city fountains is not allowed.
(Do they mean the big fountains or water fountains you are supposed to drink out of? From this list, Mobile lawmakers have a lot of time on their hands.)
Next you won't even be able to bathe your pet alligator in a fountain filled with ice cream while wearing a mask on Sundays in your good high heeled shoes!!!
1. You must have windshield wipers on your Car.
(Reasonable, but anything is possible on 431)
2. In Mobile, it's illegal to spit orange peels onto the sidewalk
( So, it's okay to throw banana peels down???)
3. Putting salt on a railroad track can be punishable by death.
(What about sugar???)
Actually this one was explained. If a train goes through a pasture or a place with cows, they will lick it off of the tracks. This could get real messy if a train came through. But the Death Penalty"? For the cow of course.
4. 4. Boogers must not be flicked into the wind.
(So it's okay to flick against the wind?) Hmmm?
5. It's illegal to impersonate a priest.
(Is this okay in other states?)
6. It's illegal to wear a fake mustache in church because it could cause laughter.
( It doesn't cause laughter anywhere else? Plus, where does it say this in the Bible? I challenge you to find it!))
7. It is illegal to dress like a nun
(These are taking away all of my Halloween options!!! Plus, there goes the idea of ever performing Sister Act on stage in Alabama!)
8. In Mobile, it's illegal to spray silly string.
(Probably because of Mardi Gras. They didn't say we couldn't throw boogers into the air if it wasn't windy, right?)
9. In Mobile, it is illegal for women to wear high heels in a City Park.
(Can men wear them?)
10. Confetti is banned in Mobile
(Between Mobile and the religious laws, we just can't have any fun!)
11. In Montgomery, it's illegal to open an umbrella on a street.
( I guess I need to remember a rain poncho next time I go to Montgomery, or either duck from awning to awning!)
12. It's illegal to wear a mask in public.
(I've been seeing a lot of juvenile delinquents on Halloween. Shame, Shame. I bet their supplier is Wal-Mart! How does Wicked Halloween ever get a business license in Alabama with this, the nuns, the clergy and the moustaches?)
13. It's illegal to put an ice cream cone in your back pocket.
(They say horse thieves used to do this a lot. Seen any horse thieves lately? I hope they don't ban ice cream next. Watch out Dairy Queen, they're coming for you!)
14. It’s a Crime to Tie an Alligator to a Fire Hydrant
( Yeah, they might want the ice cream in your pocket too!)
15. No Ice Cream in Your Back Pocket on Sundays
( Yep, that must be the days all those horse thieves get out of the house)
16. It’s Illegal to Pretend to Be Married at a Hotel
( Oh my, we can't pretend to use our imaginations to be anything around here. Next we won't even be allowed to dress up in our Superman pajamas)
17. In Lee County, it's illegal to sell peanuts after sundown on Wednesdays.
( But I guess it's okay in Lee County to spit your orange peels on the ground on Wednesday after sundown?!?!?)
18. Bear wrestling matches are illegal
( Next time this happens, I want to meet the policeman who stepped in and put a stop to it!)
19. Dominoes must not be played on Sundays
( This ruined my day today...)
20. Playing Cards with a Native American is (Technically) Illegal
( Why, can someone explain this? They own the casinos in this state. Is this entrapment?)
21. It is illegal to drive blindfolded.
( What state is this legal in? Apparently we need to hand out some flyers on 431! Oh yeah, that's right they couldn't read them, they are blindfolded)
22.In Mobile, bathing in city fountains is not allowed.
(Do they mean the big fountains or water fountains you are supposed to drink out of? From this list, Mobile lawmakers have a lot of time on their hands.)
Next you won't even be able to bathe your pet alligator in a fountain filled with ice cream while wearing a mask on Sundays in your good high heeled shoes!!!
* I don’t know and don’t care. If not for my wife the holder would be empty and the roll on the shelf, like it was before 1970 (when they got indoor plumbing installed) at the old outhouse on my grandparents’ farm. *
* We made it, didn’t we? Well, at least a bunch of us did. (I do believe in miracles.) *
Things the mockingbirds have mocked us with over the years , our children crying , me playing guitar , a timer we use at the swimming pool , as I walked to the pool one day I heard Beep . . . Beep . . . Beep , I did not have the timer with me , LOL !
* I don’t know what Henry did but it must have been a real doozy. *
pandaflower
Well-Known Member
Oh,come on! It's obvious.
You meowed like a cat.
She's wondering where your fur went.
pandaflower
Well-Known Member
It was a doozy.
Henry Symeonis was a wealthy Englishman from Oxford who became the subject of a 550-year-long grudge at the University of Oxford, where graduates had to swear an oath never to reconcile with him. This tradition began after he was involved in the murder of a scholar in 1242, leading to his banishment, and the oath was only abolished in 1827 when the reasons for it had been forgotten.
For over 500 years, Oxford graduates pledged to hate Henry Symeonis. So, who is he?
It's one of the weirdest pledges you'll ever come across.
www.zmescience.com
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