Tough Love

[Matthias201]

Tough LovePart 1 - The Unruly ChildGod told us to love our neighbors as we love ourselves.But who are our neighbors? The people next door? The people on our block? The people we like? Fellow Christians? Fellow Americans? The whole world?It's a deceivingly complex concept. Love the world. Every single person in the world.It's seems so easy. But, for the most part, it's stunningly difficult.We are expected to have unconditional love for everyone. Most of us as Christians think that that is a wonderful idea, until we realize that that means we have to love the jerk at the office, the woman who hit your car and didn't leave a note, the guy that cheated on your daughter, the woman who divorced you and took all your money, the person responsible for the death of your father, everybody, regardless of how horrible they have been.Now that is hard.And therefore, we place rules on society. Follow these rules and you'll get my love.As long as you aren't a criminal. As long as you aren't gay. As long as you aren't a democrat. As long as you keep your hair cut. As long as your socks match.And though some of our rules are ridiculous, some we are dead set on believing they are justified.For example, the majority of Christians that I've met are staunch believers in the death penalty. If you do something so terrible, such as murder someone or molest a child, you deserve to die. And you'll get no love from me.And while it's true that we are not to pretend like these actions aren't as bad as they really are, we should never develop a mindset of "Well, they don't deserve life, love, or liberty anymore."When society takes a turn we do not agree with, such as California legalizing gay marriage, we protest. We hold up signs and spit Bible verses from our mouths like one would expletives. Is that how we should speak God's Word, with bile on our tongues?The truth is we often see this world as an unruly child in public. Instead of bending down, looking the child in the eye and lovingly chastising them, we smack the mess out of the kid.I admit I struggle with this daily. It's very hard to love those I don't like very much.But it is a bit easier for me, having been on the receiving end of Christian un-love. It doesn't matter to some people if you are a Christian or not when you screw up bad enough to be arrested and sent to prison.I had to sit there and take it when people came up to my Pastor and basically told him that if I wasn't hidden away in my church, they would leave. This, despite my having attended this church for several years longer than these.So, having met many other people who have failed our fellow Christians, but have since strived to make things right, I have a soft spot in my heart for those in prison. I have a soft heart towards those who are screw-ups, addicts, stumblers, those at rock bottom.Love is directly connected to grace. As Christians, we should know full well the awesome power of grace. All of our sins washed away in forgiveness and love from God, our Father.So, why is grace so foreign to us? How does he world see us? Why is forgiveness hard, so hard that there are some that we will refuse to ever forgive? What can we do to correct this? What should an unconditionally loving Christian look like?Stay tuned.Coming Soon: Part 2 - Conditional Unconditional Love

 

[epistemaniac]

why keep us in suspense.... here.... let me get it for you

"Part 2 - Conditional Unconditional Love What have you done to earn my unconditional love?This is the question we unknowingly ask those who are not believers in Christianity. At some point, we decide that only other Christians deserve love, forgiveness, trust, etc. Anyone else is the enemy.If you're not for us, you're against us, right?Unconditional love is a strange concept to man. In fact, it is one that I dare say no one will ever be able to accomplish with anybody. Even with our own family.Sure, you say that you love your son and that it is an unconditional love, but when he moves back home, steals money from you, overdoses on heroin, then sticks you with the hospital bill because he can't keep a job... well, you tend to trust him less and less. You tend to stop forgiving him. You still love him, but unconditional love is so much than just a warm spot in your heart that will not cool.You see, God is the only one who can truly give unconditional love. He is not cursed with human emotions. He loves each and every one of us, forgives us the moment we ask, trusts us enough with everything to have given it all to us to oversee. It doesn't matter how many times we hit rock bottom, it doesn't matter how many promises to change we've broken, it doesn't matter if we've destroyed our lives, God still loves us, forgives us, and trusts us. He's still ready to pour his grace on you.Notice, I said "you." I don't just mean "you, Mr. Christian." I mean "you, and you, and you, and you, and everybody else ever."So, why do we, as Christians, tend to act like these things are privileges for Christians only? Is it because only the saved get God's favor? Well, yes. I think that is why most Christians will love other Christians, but come up lacking with unbelievers.Though we would never say it out loud, our actions say to the unbeliever, "Well, you haven't sacrificed anything. You never accepted Christ as your Savior. Why should I treat you as my equal?"That is the wrong attitude.We are called to love everyone. And not just because it's a good witness to the unsaved. We should not love others expecting something in return, such as their salvation, or even a thank you. You should only love.For example, a Baptist church recently attended an Insane Clown Posse concert. Thousands of kids with their faces painted with evil clown designs. The crowds at these types of concerts are notorious for unrepentant bad behavior.The Baptist church showed up to cook hamburgers and give them away for free to the fans of ICP (called juggalos). They did not preach at them, did not pass out tracts, no, they just loved these kids.One of the Baptists said that she saw the faces of these kids soften behind the evil clown paint. "You can tell these are good kids," she said.That is unconditional love. People we would typically judge by appearance as no-good, ungodly troublemakers, these people refused to judge and chose to simply love and serve these juggalos.You see, what I'm saying is that if we tend to love one group of people more than another, it is the unsaved we should love more. It is the unbelievers that should be receiving our love, forgiveness, and trust.In Luke, Jesus tells us of the lost sheep. A shepherd is watching over 100 sheep, but notices one has gone missing.The shepherd could have just stayed with his 99, satisfied that he still had all of them. But instead, he left the 99 found sheep to search for the lost one.The lost sheep is not you. When you became a Christian, you joined the 99 found sheep.The lost sheep is the unbeliever. God knows He has you, knows that you are safe within His care, but there is a sheep out there that is all alone. That is the sheep God is focused on.Maybe we should get off of our fluffy butts and help."parts 3 and 4 (coming soon) are at http://www.colonendparentheses.com/series-tough-love/blessingsken

 

[Matthias201]

Part 3 - That's Not NaturalWhen God created us in His image, he built within us the same grace and compassion that He Himself demonstrates, but when Adam and Eve fell, our Human Nature was created. In seeking to make himself more like God, man made himself less like God.And so, grace and compassion do not come easily, even to Christians.It is very much unnatural within our hearts, especially towards people who have hurt us personally or someone who is in the public eye.Once a very popular Christian music artist, Ray Boltz, came out as a homosexual not too long ago. The Christianity community was shocked and largely appalled.How could the same man who wrote "Thank You" admit to practicing a homosexual lifestyle and being comfortable with it?But it's true. It happened, and this man who once stood so tall in the Christian community is now reduced to living with sighs and sneers from a people who once loved him.In a news report on this at a Christian news site, the comments posted below it were widely varying, but many followed the premise of this one:"The Bible tells us that we should ignore Christians who are living in sin, so it's time to ignore Ray Boltz until he repents!"Boy, it sure is nice to have a Biblical excuse for being a jerk, isn't it?The fact is, no, that isn't what the Bible says. The Bible says not to associate yourself with the sexually immoral. But it doesn't say to ignore them. It means, don't do anything to encourage the sin, but you are still called to love this person.That is where we get the phrase "Love the sinner, hate the sin."It's a popular phrase in the Christian community, largely because we have to repeat it so many times.After I made my big mistake, I had a teacher write me a letter, telling me just how much she still thought of me. She wrote to me, "I've heard you say 'Love the sinner, hate the sin.' I have to say that I never liked that phrase, until now."Sometimes it takes having to be on the receiving end of love when you don't deserve it to realize how it is to be done. But when it comes to homosexuals or pro-abortionists and the like, Christians tend to join into a mob mentality of "We hate this sin!" But unfortunately, we take our hate for the sin out on the "sinners!"That is our natural inclination, because it is hard to separate hate for sin from hate for sinner.But God told us to love those who offend us, those who are against us, love even our enemies with the same love we would have for a close friend or family member.But our human nature does not like the idea of loving our enemies.Why should we love those who hate us, are against us, fight us? Why should it be our responsibility to reach out? Why do we have to turn the other cheek when we get slapped in the face?Good question. The answer? Because that is what God does everyday and we are to be like Him as much as possible. Coming Soon: Part 4 - Revenge is a Dish Best Not Served

 

[Matthias201]

Part 4 - Revenge is a Dish Best Not ServedChristians often hold an "Us vs. Them" mentality when it comes to those who are opposite them on issues.Unfortunately, because of that, it tends to make us think that we are in a battle. And in battle, there are always casualties.I fell pray to this myself, and still do on occasion, when it comes to debating the issues. Hiding behind the guise of "debate," I would be intentionally insulting to those with dissenting viewpoints just because they were insulting to me first."He started it!" Funny, that never worked with my parents, so why would I think it will work with God?There was a time in Christian history where the prevailing rule was "eye for an eye." But, like many rules from the Old Testament, they were set in place for a specific group of people and a specific time under the old covenant. When Jesus came and established the new covenant, he amended that rule, saying instead to turn the other cheek.Which, I'll admit, is no fun. You mean we are supposed to just sit here and take it? Well, yes and no.Jesus never said not to stand up for what's right, in fact, quite the opposite. But there is a big difference between standing up for what's right and retaliating against who's wrong.What purpose will a Christian protest serve? If one sees a group of protestors, most always have a negative feeling towards them, even if they agree with the protest, simply because protests, as a whole, are largely filled with "hate" or "anger" of some kind. That is not how Christians should present themselves.What's worse is when Christians interject themselves into politics. I mean, we've all seen Jerry Falwell, Jesse Jackson, Pat Robertson, and Al Sharpton, all pastors, get on TV every time a political or social issue arises and what comes out of their mouths all comes to one conclusive point: Everyone who doesn't agree with me in going to Hell.I'm not saying those men haven't done some wonderful things, but how would we know? All we ever see them doing is complaining or gloating, two very negative actions.And that is because we have assigned positive and negative emotions to certain descriptions of people. Chances are, if I mention "the unsaved" or "the lost," you, as a Christian, get a sad feeling in your heart, a compassionate feeling, your heart reaching out to those who haven't found their way.But, if I say that this person is "pro-choice" or a "homosexual" or "eats bunnies," chances are, you suddenly have no desire to witness to this person, to reach out in Christian love, because we have been conditioned to feel this way, another case of not separating hate for the sin from the sinner.This is also the reason many of the unsaved have negative feelings towards Christians.And so, we don't witness.Penn Jillette, one half of the comedy magic team, Penn & Teller, is an avid atheist. In Penn & Teller's HBO show Bullsh--!, he has made it a personal goal to debunk the Bible and Christianity in general. And yet, he encourages people to witness to him.In a video blog, he told a story about a sincere Christian man who came up to him after a show and handed him a Gideon's Bible, with a little note inside. Penn said the man was genuine, kind, respectful, and truly complimentary. Penn liked this guy and appreciated the gesture greatly.Penn then said something that struck me as odd, because I've been conditioned to think that all Atheists want nothing more than to pack all the world's Christians on a giant boat and blow it up in the middle of the Atlantic. He said that he believes that Christians should proselytize (witness). He said if you really believe in an eternal life that only Christians get to go to, "How much do you have to hate someone not to tell them about it?"But Christians all too often play the victim because they were insulted or hurt by someone with a dissenting view of Christianity or their own personal doctrine. Celebrate Recovery, a faith-based 12-step program originating out of Rick Warren's Saddleback Church, has a saying, "Hurting People Hurt People."When you hold a grudge, the only things you can do are forget it or hold on it. Holding on to it poisons your soul to the point where you think, "Well, those people don't deserve salvation."I know, you'd never say that out loud, but... are you saying it with your actions?Coming Soon: Part 5 - Why I'm the Only One Going to Heaven