I've been getting good Christian counseling for a while now. We've finally nailed the problem down to trust. I'm afraid to trust God. I've been abused physically, spiritually, and emotionally in the past, and now it's hard to trust. I get defensive - I put walls up so I don't get hurt again. But this is not healthy and I want to trust God. My defenses get in the way. Letting them down isn't easy.
Any insight to this?
Your defenses are just fine. I wouldn't be letting them down quite so quickly if I were you.
The enemy prowls around like a pack of wild dogs looking for someone to devour, and the ones that get bitten are the ones that are a bit too trusting.
You write about defenses and walls and being hurt as though you were referring to people.
Trusting God is one thing.
Trusting people is another.
Big difference.
I was saved over forty years ago, and in that time I've learned two very important lessons. Perhaps three.
1. There is a God.
2. I'm not Him.
..
3. People aren't God either.
You can trust God with your life.
People? Not so much.
In all of my life I've only met one or possibly two individuals I'd follow into a rough situation.
There's a handful I might die for, too.
But God? Well now. There's a person that's worthy of following.
Not because I'm supposed to, mind you, but
because He has earned it - as far as I'm concerned.
So ask yourself this question brother. Has the one who asks for your trust EARNED IT?
Follow no man without question. Follow no pretended god without question either.
Has the man that asks for your trust proved himself trustworthy? If so, trust him again.
If he hasn't, then show him the door. Making sure he leaves fast enough that it doesn't hit him in the backside on the way out.
If God asks for your trust, has He proved His trust to you in the past?
If He has, then do as He asks and don't give Him a hard time about it.
Shut your mouth and do what's been asked of you.
If you don't think God has proved Himself sufficiently, then ask Him to do so.
Knowing Him as I do, I'm sure He will. After that, however, He will expect no nonsense.
As for me,
I have confidence in God. He has NEVER let me down. NEVER.
That's what the joy of the Lord is, brother - CONFIDENCE.
It isn't acting like a clown on laughing gas all day and it isn't smiling when things get tough.
IT'S CONFIDENCE and its born of the experience of trust.
You can take that to the bank.
but that's just me, hollering from the choir loft...