Trust issues - trusting in God

[dougishere]

I've been getting good Christian counseling for a while now. We've finally nailed the problem down to trust. I'm afraid to trust God. I've been abused physically, spiritually, and emotionally in the past, and now it's hard to trust. I get defensive - I put walls up so I don't get hurt again. But this is not healthy and I want to trust God. My defenses get in the way. Letting them down isn't easy.

Any insight to this?

 

[veteran]

For me, trusting has always been about giving others space as imperfect human beings as we all are. Only God could be born in the flesh like us and be Perfect without sin. Trusting others doesn't mean letting others run all over us. We can show trust without allowing ourselves being taken advantage of.

At times I will show trust with someone on a matter, and based on their past behaviour I'm aware that one probably won't follow through. Yet those are the very ones who probably most need someone to trust them, to show hope in them. I've seen quite of few of those after a while become more open to God's Truth in His Word and turn their lives around.


Trust also involves the ability to forgive others that do you wrong, even if they show no regret or remorse for the wrong. Face it, who does the inability to forgive hurt most? Much better to forgive and let God take care of the matter than to burn up with hatred or anxiety and never trust at all. If we cannot forgive others, how can we expect to get forgiveness?

 

[Hollyrock]

I've been getting good Christian counseling for a while now. We've finally nailed the problem down to trust. I'm afraid to trust God. I've been abused physically, spiritually, and emotionally in the past, and now it's hard to trust. I get defensive - I put walls up so I don't get hurt again. But this is not healthy and I want to trust God. My defenses get in the way. Letting them down isn't easy.

Any insight to this?

MARK 9:23-24..." Jesus said unto him, if thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth. V24 And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord I believe; HELP THOU MINE UNBELIEF " ...You don't have to go it alone, God is there to help you believe and trust Him...Be Blessed my friend !!!

 

[Angelina]

Amen Holly!
I'd be talking to God asking him to help you overcome this area of mistrust that you have for him and others. Situations will crop up that you would need to give to God to take care of [If you are not doing that already] The best teacher we have is the Holy Spirit because he knows just how much we can handle and will not give us more than we can bear. It's all about getting free in Jesus and overcoming the obstacles that hinder us through the process of sanctification...God is Good!!! Luv it ! Blessings!!! ^_^

 

[Stefcui]

Hi Dougishere,

There are many of us who have gone through similar things. I have experienced everything you mentioned from a young age; and I was too afraid to help others that I saw go through the same. I am the only one in my family who has turned to God; yet we all experienced similar. Trusting God was not easy either. I failed many times. When I trusted others they took advantage of my weakness. When I trusted the church it almost ate me alive. Who can save me from this life of suffering? Who can stop these tears? Fortunately, God can.

It took me a long time to let go and let God. Even when others still hurt me or hate me; I can now trust that God knows best for me. I don’t want to experience hurt anymore – it is a wasted emotion. I know others have problems too. Not everyone is healthy, happy, adjusted and balanced. We all have problems, and we are all going to the same God to repair us. Faith requires that we trust God will respond as a loving father; and that Jesus will respond as a loyal brother. Even if we are tested, and even if we are hurt; we cannot be hurt anymore. Who can stand against us? Who can overcome God? Although temporary pain may come; when we trust in God He becomes our strength.

Focus on God, brother. Do not focus on your pain, or potential of pain. Perfect loves cast out all fear. God instils in us the most perfect love. Take one step at a time. With each step, don’t look back. Go from strength to strength; height to height. Become as a child. Trust our father to father us. Learn wisdom as you take each step. Develop the mind of Christ; and hence the mind of God. Be defined by God’s love; not by pain.

God Bless
Steve

 

[Doppleganger]

I heard something wonderful the other day about trust and faith from that Jewish Christian Rabbi on TBN, the one that has alot of passion, I forget his name ... Anyways, he explained it something like this ... Why, do you worry ... God takes care of the birds ... Solomon in all his glory isn't comparable to the lilies of the field ... Then he quoted some scriptures that went something like this .. when you were in your mothers womb, I knew you ... when you were a helpless baby I took care of you ... even in your old age i did not forget you. [it was Rabbi Kirt Schneider] At that moment I was just saying WOW, It just doesn't pay to worry ...

 

[ajdiamond]

I've been abused physically, spiritually, and emotionally in the past, and now it's hard to trust.

A good place to start would be to gain understanding about your identification with the above. When we identify as something that we are essentially not, we attempt to transform the identity. What we want to do is for us to be transformed. Selah.

So, close your eyes and say, I am here, now. Now take 5 deep breaths, expanding the belly, while focusing on your breathing. On inbreath, say I am. On outbreath, say here now.

Now, while you were doing that exercise, where is the story of I've been abused physically, spiritually, and emotionally in the past, and now it's hard to trust? It's not there, is it? It's not there until your mind brings it to you. And it has no power over you, until you identify as that story of an abused one. Selah.

You have a story, a history; but, you are not the story. So first, you would be wise to let go of and loose your identification with the story. Just sit and be still and see what is happening when you take 'abused' for an identity. Understand it. See it. And let it go. When it pops up, you could say, I am not that. I am just here, now. .

And from there, that place of just being, that is the foundational place where you can deal with the defensive walls and the fear of trusting God.

 

[aspen]

I've been getting good Christian counseling for a while now. We've finally nailed the problem down to trust. I'm afraid to trust God. I've been abused physically, spiritually, and emotionally in the past, and now it's hard to trust. I get defensive - I put walls up so I don't get hurt again. But this is not healthy and I want to trust God. My defenses get in the way. Letting them down isn't easy.

Any insight to this?

Be nice to yourself. Take it slow. Learn to notice when you are trusting or have trusted and feel good about it.

It has taken a long time to master the defenses you have developed and it will take some time to learn to bring them down.

Remember, not trusting anyone did a good job of protecting you in the past - you've just outgrown the defense.

Learning to surrender instead of clenching our fists takes time.

I have a lot of confidence that God will bring about a good work in you and I will pray for you.

A good place to start would be to gain understanding about your identification with the above. When we identify as something that we are essentially not, we attempt to transform the identity. What we want to do is for us to be transformed. Selah.

So, close your eyes and say, I am here, now. Now take 5 deep breaths, expanding the belly, while focusing on your breathing. On inbreath, say I am. On outbreath, say here now.

Now, while you were doing that exercise, where is the story of I've been abused physically, spiritually, and emotionally in the past, and now it's hard to trust? It's not there, is it? It's not there until your mind brings it to you. And it has no power over you, until you identify as that story of an abused one. Selah.

You have a story, a history; but, you are not the story. So first, you would be wise to let go of and loose your identification with the story. Just sit and be still and see what is happening when you take 'abused' for an identity. Understand it. See it. And let it go. When it pops up, you could say, I am not that. I am just here, now. .

And from there, that place of just being, that is the foundational place where you can deal with the defensive walls and the fear of trusting God.

This is a very good post! Thank you AJ

 

[[email protected]]

I've been getting good Christian counseling for a while now. We've finally nailed the problem down to trust. I'm afraid to trust God. I've been abused physically, spiritually, and emotionally in the past, and now it's hard to trust. I get defensive - I put walls up so I don't get hurt again. But this is not healthy and I want to trust God. My defenses get in the way. Letting them down isn't easy.

Any insight to this?

Your defenses are just fine. I wouldn't be letting them down quite so quickly if I were you.
The enemy prowls around like a pack of wild dogs looking for someone to devour, and the ones that get bitten are the ones that are a bit too trusting.

You write about defenses and walls and being hurt as though you were referring to people.
Trusting God is one thing.
Trusting people is another.
Big difference.

I was saved over forty years ago, and in that time I've learned two very important lessons. Perhaps three.
1. There is a God.
2. I'm not Him.
..
3. People aren't God either.

You can trust God with your life.
People? Not so much.
In all of my life I've only met one or possibly two individuals I'd follow into a rough situation.
There's a handful I might die for, too.

But God? Well now. There's a person that's worthy of following.
Not because I'm supposed to, mind you, but because He has earned it - as far as I'm concerned.

So ask yourself this question brother. Has the one who asks for your trust EARNED IT?

Follow no man without question. Follow no pretended god without question either.

Has the man that asks for your trust proved himself trustworthy? If so, trust him again.
If he hasn't, then show him the door. Making sure he leaves fast enough that it doesn't hit him in the backside on the way out.

If God asks for your trust, has He proved His trust to you in the past?
If He has, then do as He asks and don't give Him a hard time about it.
Shut your mouth and do what's been asked of you.

If you don't think God has proved Himself sufficiently, then ask Him to do so.
Knowing Him as I do, I'm sure He will. After that, however, He will expect no nonsense.

As for me, I have confidence in God. He has NEVER let me down. NEVER.
That's what the joy of the Lord is, brother - CONFIDENCE.
It isn't acting like a clown on laughing gas all day and it isn't smiling when things get tough.
IT'S CONFIDENCE and its born of the experience of trust.

You can take that to the bank.

but that's just me, hollering from the choir loft...

 

[Strat]

God is the only one we are to trust,we are allowed the choice of placing a certain amount of trust in people..well,enough about that.

 

[mjrhealth]

Hi Dougi, you and the other 99.99% of the people, even those who know Him, the enemy is having a fine time with manikind, with divorce, child abuse, and all the rest of teh stuff that man so enjoys, and we all struggle with Faith for all much the same reasons. Just talk to Him about it everyday, He will prove Himselfs to you, if you give Him just a little room to move.

In All His love