Understanding MPD/DID & SRA/MK

[lilygrace]

i wonder if any cult people work for any social work etc.... other than cps ...which i know is cult a lot.

to explain this as much as i can without revealing too much.
i filled out a form. they called me and i missed it. i get a lot of spam calls and such
i called a few times no answer but i could have stayed on the line longer. i emailed and was written back in all caps. at one point i inquired about my status. i was answered back in all caps again and they told me i missed three phone appointments. i ddint even know about them at all.

 

[Jostler]

Lily, these cult operators have gained control of just about every place they can that deals with children. "Child Services" government agencies, orphanages, day care centers, runaway ministries....
I hate to say it, but it's far more likely to assume child protection services are cult controlled than not.

 

[lilygrace]

Lily, these cult operators have gained control of just about every place they can that deals with children. "Child Services" government agencies, orphanages, day care centers, runaway ministries....
I hate to say it, but it's far more likely to assume child protection services are cult controlled than not.

even though im not a child by law, i felt something working against me lately. the dr. what im up to now, the mission i went to

 

[Jostler]

Keep taking these internal witnesses to Him....ask Him to reveal more. If you're feeling cautious or in danger, don't ignore it.

 

[TLHKAJ]

to explain this as much as i can without revealing too much.
i filled out a form. they called me and i missed it. i get a lot of spam calls and such
i called a few times no answer but i could have stayed on the line longer. i emailed and was written back in all caps. at one point i inquired about my status. i was answered back in all caps again and they told me i missed three phone appointments. i ddint even know about them at all.

Wow, I'm so sorry this happened. :/ I know it was important. I'm praying another opportunity comes open for you.

Similarly, I also get so many "spam calls." So I have gotten to where I don't answer numbers I don't recognize. So I'll block them most of the time. (I have at times answered them and said hello, only to hear "dead air." So I most of the time don't answer, just block.) Well, that recently backfired on me because the repairman for my washer decided to call with a different number and I didn't recognize the number....so I blocked it. I missed my repair date and we had to reschedule. I've been without a washing machine for 6 or 7 months.

The thing about these calls is that survivors get an abnormal amount of them. The cult will use these to send cues. What sounds like "dead air" to the front personality is due to another alter pushing them to the back just long enough to hear a cue. So it is wise not to answer. I'm sorry it resulted in a missed opportunity, though.

 

[lilygrace]

Wow, I'm so sorry this happened. :/ I know it was important. I'm praying another opportunity comes open for you.

Similarly, I also get so many "spam calls." So I have gotten to where I don't answer numbers I don't recognize. So I'll block them most of the time. (I have at times answered them and said hello, only to hear "dead air." So I most of the time don't answer, just block.) Well, that recently backfired on me because the repairman for my washer decided to call with a different number and I didn't recognize the number....so I blocked it. I missed my repair date and we had to reschedule. I've been without a washing machine for 6 or 7 months.

The thing about these calls is that survivors get an abnormal amount of them. The cult will use these to send cues. What sounds like "dead air" to the front personality is due to another alter pushing them to the back just long enough to hear a cue. So it is wise not to answer. I'm sorry it resulted in a missed opportunity, though.

mostly i ignore phone calls cos its spam or numbers i dont recognize. they have to leave a message. which they did. social services. i get how i should be self responsible but no one seemed to tell me how it works such as checking if i had phone appointments.

not all in the system seem ready for some things though
im sorry you been without a washing machine

 

[TLHKAJ]

Lily, these cult operators have gained control of just about every place they can that deals with children. "Child Services" government agencies, orphanages, day care centers, runaway ministries....
I hate to say it, but it's far more likely to assume child protection services are cult controlled than not.

Yes, these are front organizations for the cult, sad to say... women's shelters as well. That's what they used to steal my granddaughter (as you know).

 

[lilygrace]

Yes, these are front organizations for the cult, sad to say... women's shelters as well. That's what they used to steal my granddaughter (as you know).

right and some women who havent found these shelters as a threat could say to me "you just dont want help, etc i guess i can lead a horse to water but cant make it drink"
and these same people could recommend me to the same therapist office as them. i already have my possible handler in training in the past wanting to find therapy or said she could have found me a mission to stay at. well its triggering when someone seems adamant about me doing something or me not doing something. its hard as a system to decide which is right.
i think the mission i was at was partially infiltrated but not all were bad. i think it was the outside contacting them that made it bad. its just a gut feeling i have.

 

[lilygrace]

my one alter seemed like they wanted to hurt us so bad earlier. there were worse attempts than the si i actually did

 

[TLHKAJ]

my one alter seemed like they wanted to hurt us so bad earlier. there were worse attempts than the si i actually did

Sis, it sounds like maybe someone's dealing with programming ...a sort of "no talk." If someone is upset about you sharing a lot lately, try and talk with them and find out what their concerns are, and if you can work out something they're comfortable with. Maybe when you get those urges,you can step back for a minute and assess what's going on inside.

I'll share something similar I dealt with. In my early years of deprogramming, I got some memories related to my mom. And as I sat at my computer to type to my counselor, I kept feeling a pain in the palm of my hand. Subconsciously, feeling the pain and kinda rubbing it with my other hand. Finally I decided to look, and it was a circlular burn. I was puzzled because I thought I'd been sitting there typing the whole time. But it was obviously a cigarette burn. (And I don't smoke, but obviously I had an alter who did.) Over time, I learned that an alter punished the body for my talking about those memories related to my mom. And I learned they were re-enacting punishments that were inflicted on me since infancy.

I learned after that to dialog with alters when they have concerns and do my best to take their concerns into account....while also reassuring them where our safety and shelter comes from (God).

I hope some of that was helpful.

 

[lilygrace]

Sis, it sounds like maybe someone's dealing with programming ...a sort of "no talk." If someone is upset about you sharing a lot lately, try and talk with them and find out what their concerns are, and if you can work out something they're comfortable with. Maybe when you get those urges,you can step back for a minute and assess what's going on inside.

I'll share something similar I dealt with. In my early years of deprogramming, I got some memories related to my mom. And as I sat at my computer to type to my counselor, I kept feeling a pain in the palm of my hand. Subconsciously, feeling the pain and kinda rubbing it with my other hand. Finally I decided to look, and it was a circlular burn. I was puzzled because I thought I'd been sitting there typing the whole time. But it was obviously a cigarette burn. (And I don't smoke, but obviously I had an alter who did.) Over time, I learned that an alter punished the body for my talking about those memories related to my mom. And I learned they were re-enacting punishments that were inflicted on me since infancy.

I learned after that to dialog with alters when they have concerns and do my best to take their concerns into account....while also reassuring them where our safety and shelter comes from (God).

I hope some of that was helpful.

aww im sorry
that could be why.
other than that i was triggered. but i believe i have been talking more. or the talking i have done and the guilt is enough for punishing

 

[TLHKAJ]

aww im sorry
that could be why.
other than that i was triggered. but i believe i have been talking more. or the talking i have done and the guilt is enough for punishing

It sure sounds like it, sis. I'm sorry ...I know that talking can be scary. I really feel a lot of compassion for these alters.

 

[lilygrace]

It sure sounds like it, sis. I'm sorry ...I know that talking can be scary. I really feel a lot of compassion for these alters.

What's weird is it's close to the day they did something to me and they tried it again.
Feel triggered on a daily basis but some things trigger worse

 

[Jostler]

my one alter seemed like they wanted to hurt us so bad earlier. there were worse attempts than the si i actually did

Lily, we are going to get deeply involved in this kind of topic. But it's not quite time for it. There is some foundation work we need to lay first. Let me simply say this fornow: it is very, very common for survivors to discover alters that have been programmed to believe that love cannot be expressed without pain. They have been trained to seek pain...invite it. If the Lord has allowed you to begin experiencing an alter who believes this, trust the Lord. These alters have been traumatized in horrific ways. Discovering her story may be very, very hard to look at...difficult. again, take her to the Lord, later, once we have some Biblical perspective laid as a foundation for the discussion, we will begin dealing with some of these deep wounds inflicted by deviant s*xual violations. Its a subject relevant to all survivors. First, we need to lay a foundation from the Word defining what holy, healthy, life giving touch is in God's eyes. We need to gain some understanding of exactly why Satan's focus always includes UNHOLY, defiling, demeaning intimate touch....s*xual perversion and deviant s*xual assaults.

We are going to need to have some discussions that can help these alters understand what Hod designed marital intimacy for. She is listening now. I want to tell her that there is a way to understand that the love of a Godly kind...does not give pain. You are loved by Him, and me, and neither of us will ever be willing to cause you pain...that is not love.

God is the one that designed and implemented the system that employs gender differences and intimate contact in the human race, for "oneness" between married couples, and procreation. It's difficult to talk about in public, and to a degree it should be....His plan is that kind of contact is meant to be private, in an exclusive relationship between two people...husband and wife. But, there are ways to discuss biblical teaching on the topic in detailed, but discreet ways....and soon ee.must begin those disvussions.

 

[Jostler]

for the moment, just know you are not alone. Its very common among survivors and we can start with studying exactly why, and how, the human FAMILY is the highest and most complete "image" He created us to be. We'll need to begin exploring some of this very soon.

 

[TLHKAJ]

What's weird is it's close to the day they did something to me and they tried it again.
Feel triggered on a daily basis but some things trigger worse

Well, it's not so weird. It sounds like someone is possibly dealing with triggers related to a specific date.

 

[Jostler]

I may have misunderstood exactly what you were trying to say Lily. Reading back again, I think you were
talking about an alter trying to inflict pain on you as a.programmed punishment for alking openly lately. I misunderstood and thought you were talking about an alter who desires to be hurt...seeks pain. I apologize for my misunderstanding. We are still going to need to discuss those things I mentioned...but that isn't the topic you brought up. I've known we have to dig into that stuff eventually for awhile now...I managed to fumble my way into an introduction to the topic by accident I'm really good at making those kind of mistakes, nut He usually manages to fix them for me

 

[Jostler]

And someone, somewhere was listening.

 

[lilygrace]

Internally
Dealing with abandonment . Helplessness and wanting a mother . I see a child curled up with a stuffed animal in fetal position .

 

[DuckieLady]

Internally
Dealing with abandonment . Helplessness and wanting a mother . I see a child curled up with a stuffed animal in fetal position .

When I read this, my heart ached, as I told you part of your name is the name of my first who I can't be there for right now. Hopefully after she turns 18 that will change. And that is not too far off.

I can tell you this, the Bible says that God is a father to the fatherless- but also embodies the nurturing of a mother.

"For thus says the Lord:

Behold, I will extend peace to her like a river,
and the glory of the nations like an overflowing stream;
and you shall nurse, you shall be carried upon her hip,
and bounced upon her knees.

As one whom his mother comforts,
so I will comfort you..."

Delight in the joys of the Lord - the scriptures, the psalms, and the singing and praise, and he will comfort you.