Understanding MPD/DID & SRA/MK

[Shattered]

KZ54 was a synthetic/biological construct, and so KZ54 was his designation in the story I wrote. KZ54 was awakened from stasis and discovered that he wasn't merely a construct but a person. He had feelings, memories, and a soul.

 

[TLHKAJ]

I don't know how I was able to even try to fight because I had been drugged. But when I saw the little girl being dragged away that way and hearing her scream and cry for help and looking back at me, I was suddenly in fighting mode. I tried so hard to get to her. But I couldn't.

If I may ask....did you feel any particular connection with the little girl? Was she related to you or had you (to your knowledge) known her before this ritual?

 

[Shattered]

@Jostler , do you recall discussing matters which we jokingly characterized as causing the heads of others to spin in circles? As in they're so mind-blowing, they seem to violate the laws of space and time?

I wrote that short story about KZ54 20 years ago, brother. That was years before the Lord came to me when I was almost dead. Years... and having read what KZ54 wrote on this topic about being endowed with humanity, I'm the one whose head is spinning in circles. It was prophetic.

I do believe this also settles questions about the difference between being saved, when His Spirit renews us and dwells with us, and when we are baptized in His Spirit. I was saved when I wrote that story...

 

[truthquest]

I am so sorry, sister. I know this is a terribly heavy burden to carry.

It is. But I know I did all I could do that was humanly possible to stop what was happening.

That church is still there. A church that has been the place of rituals. ....where lives were brutally taken. A nest for demons. Christians have been going to that church ever since then.

 

[truthquest]

If I may ask....did you feel any particular connection with the little girl? Was she related to you or had you (to your knowledge) known her before this ritual?

Yes, I did know her. She was related to my foster mother. We rode to the church together in the same car. And we were both drugged beforehand.

 

[Shattered]

Now I understand those words God spoke when He baptized me in His Spirit. He poured Himself upon me, meaning all of me, which explains why every alter I've encountered thus far knows and loves Him. Even the alters who swore they weren't Christians!

 

[Jostler]

Shattered i have dozens of thoughts running through my head. not sure what to focus on first. I will say that KZ54's introduction didn't seem weird or feel odd to me at all. Viewed from outside it all felt pretty normal to me. I'm just rejoicing to see Jesus delivering the awareness of being human back into the consciousness of someone who had their humanity stolen from their awareness

 

[Jostler]

And it's ok if you blow your own mind now and then there is a lot new that shows up when He begins to reveal new inside connections and restorations....thank God they're not always horrific...sometimes it's just surprising..

And maybe a little amusing

 

[truthquest]

I'll tell you this, my friend. My fellow survivor is worth everything so if triggering is going to happen, then it will. The alters who are vigilant --- they're always watching and waiting even while I'm present --- weep when they learn of the horrendous evil inflicted upon others. My awareness of several of these protectors has been increasing the past few months to the point where I'm experiencing co-presence with some. Based on my experience so far, this means we're moving closer to merging.

I've made a lot of progress with merging alters. There was one who was very loyal to the handler who was angry with me for being so against him. I learned about a reporting alter and I felt so betrayed. Then there's the delta...and the beta.

I feel so much anger that they split my mind in so many pieces beginning when I was three years old. I remember the first thing they did to me....they have destroyed my life. I've never been able to live life the way it was intended to be with at least a fighting chance. Always having to be on guard. Always fighting evil. Always looking over my shoulder. I wish phones had never been invented.

Their memories keep coming. Something happened to all of us when the Lord brought us to my adopted mother. Something broke, because the unspeakable things (I know what you're referring to) that were done to her until the day I arrived at her side made the assassin alters howl with rage and weep for her.

I was forced to watch such things many years ago, truthquest. They made me watch that as well as other things which are too graphic and brutal to share here. I don't want to trigger others either.

I'm so sorry for your hurt and pain. One day God will dry our eyes and take all the pain away.

 

[lilygrace]

This is nothing compared to anything else mentioned here. But stuff can be held over my head at their will when they want.

My mom just told me something i said on the online forum. She remembered it. I told her i never told her that and she said i did. I let her believe it.
I told a therapist that there was a bat in tbe house. And she said i told her that i told the therapist. I don't think i did.
But i told the therapist i saw a bat in the house and they didn't believe me. It wasn't even a big deal.
But my mom brought up this. Something from 2007 that i didn't even rememberIt's weird how an ice breaking conversation i had with someone is not allowed to be private and is held against me.

 

[TLHKAJ]

I wish phones had never been invented.

I have often had these same thoughts and wishes ...thinking and framing what it would be like to not have all these "latest technologies." Quality of life would be so much better.

 

[TLHKAJ]

This is nothing compared to anything else mentioned here. But stuff can be held over my head at their will when they want.

My mom just told me something i said on the online forum. She remembered it. I told her i never told her that and she said i did. I let her believe it.
I told a therapist that there was a bat in tbe house. And she said i told her that i told the therapist. I don't think i did.
But i told the therapist i saw a bat in the house and they didn't believe me. It wasn't even a big deal.
But my mom brought up this. Something from 2007 that i didn't even rememberIt's weird how an ice breaking conversation i had with someone is not allowed to be private and is held against me.

It is clear that they are over the top obsessed with stalking and watching everything you do and say. This is abnormal ....except that in this case, it is completely normal. This is how the cult operates.

 

[lilygrace]

It is clear that they are over the top obsessed with stalking and watching everything you do and say. This is abnormal ....except that in this case, it is completely normal. This is how the cult operates.

Tbis was a christian counselor who i was removed from. I must have shared with her that " my family doesn't believe me about a bat in the house. " It's possible i said i think i was abused and wasn't believed. She removed me cos i said i wanted to die and i let her call my mom. I was very young then. I just don't understand why this needed to be brought up.
I don't feel safe even though it's not even a conversation about abuse at all. I don't even know why it made me uncomfortable .

Anyway I'm sorry i interrupted. Didn't want to forget this happened.

 

[truthquest]

I have often had these same thoughts and wishes ...thinking and framing what it would be like to not have all these "latest technologies." Quality of life would be so much better.

Phones are used as access tools for those evil people.

 

[lilygrace]

Now I understand those words God spoke when He baptized me in His Spirit. He poured Himself upon me, meaning all of me, which explains why every alter I've encountered thus far knows and loves Him. Even the alters who swore they weren't Christians!

I know this isn't replying to the post where you mention it. I really don't mind anyone's long post at all. My issue is a me problem . I have been accused of making up stories about my life based on me reading others experiences
I really care about you all.

I said i was taking a break but i feel levelheaded and figured a few things out. I think I'll still read but not respond. We will see.

Im sorry

 

[TLHKAJ]

Phones are used as access tools for those evil people.

Absolutely.... I have some requests before the Lord related to the technological risks ...

 

[TLHKAJ]

I know this isn't replying to the post where you mention it. I really don't mind anyone's long post at all. My issue is a me problem . I have been accused of making up stories about my life based on me reading others experiences
I really care about you all.

I said i was taking a break but i feel levelheaded and figured a few things out. I think I'll still read but not respond. We will see.

Im sorry

Do whatever you feel you need. I'm glad you're here anytime you feel strong enough. I value your input.

 

[Jostler]

Lilygrace, you are never the burden to us you sometimes feel like you are please don't feel bad or feel you need to apologize. I am so glad you are here. Always. I really hope one day you'll feel free to just say what is on your mind freely, without feeling a need to apologize for it. I love you right now, as you are, with whatever you choose to share with us.

 

[TLHKAJ]

Lilygrace, you are never the burden to us you sometimes feel like you are please don't feel bad or feel you need to apologize. I am so glad you are here. Always. I really hope one day you'll feel free to just say what is on your mind freely, without feeling a need to apologize for it. I love you right now, as you are, with whatever you choose to share with us.

Well said and I agree 1000%

 

[lilygrace]

Lilygrace, you are never the burden to us you sometimes feel like you are please don't feel bad or feel you need to apologize. I am so glad you are here. Always. I really hope one day you'll feel free to just say what is on your mind freely, without feeling a need to apologize for it. I love you right now, as you are, with whatever you choose to share with us.

Well said and I agree 1000%

i wont if i feel like i am a fraud and a liar.
*hugs*
thank you. idk. i appreciate politeness but i do feel like a pain in the neck