What's Up With Sex?

[Wynona]

@MA2444

You may have spoiled her but she chose money and comfort when she could have tried to save the marriage and work things out. That's messed up on her end. Sorry to hear that.

 

[St. SteVen]

.....do you know what God’s Love is?

Not something I expect to find on this topic.

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[St. SteVen]

I don’t know if anyone is going to report you for this perversion but I’m inclined to put you on ignore.

I’m inclined to agree. Please IGNORE me.

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[St. SteVen]

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[Wrangler]

I’m inclined to agree. Please IGNORE me.

Angling to be banned again. Get help. Professional, around the clock psychological help.

Peace. Out.

 

[Wynona]

Should wives be compensated for providing sexual favors for their husbands? Probably a chore they don't enjoy.

Everything they have to do in a day and then hubby wants his due benevolence. No way, buddy.

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No. Hopefully we can avoid the "chore" mentality and have fun with our husbands too because sex is good and important for a good marriage.

I think wives thinking of sex as something they just get over with just for the husband's sake can be worked on. It's for us too. It's a blessing.

Kind of like children are a blessing but can be seen as burdens.

My belief is that our spouses should be our first priority after God. It's okay to take things off the to do list, if it leads to more intimacy.

 

[St. SteVen]

No. Hopefully we can avoid the "chore" mentality and have fun with our husbands too because sex is good and important for a good marriage.

I think wives thinking of sex as something they just get over with just for the husband's sake can be worked on. It's for us too. It's a blessing.

Kind of like children are a blessing but can be seen as burdens.

My belief is that our spouses should be our first priority after God. It's okay to take things off the to do list, if it leads to more intimacy.

Great response, thanks.

There's an old challenge that used to be given to young married couples. (a joke really)

Put a penny in a jar for every time you have sex in your first year of marriage.
After the first year take a penny out for every time you have sex.

The punchline is that the jar will never be emptied.

The harsh reality is that life gets complicated as the years of marriage wear on.
Something has to give, and typically intimacy is neglected.

I've been married for 44 years and have two adult children.

I have learned to love my wife as Christ loved the church. (he gave his life)

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[Lambano]

Should wives be compensated for providing sexual favors for their husbands? Probably a chore they don't enjoy.

No. Hopefully we can avoid the "chore" mentality and have fun with our husbands too because sex is good and important for a good marriage

I would think that a husband who loves his wife would care about her needs and feelings and would WANT to give her pleasure.

That's half the fun right there.

 

[St. SteVen]

I would think that a husband who loves his wife would care about her needs and feelings and would WANT to give her pleasure.

That's half the fun right there.

Agree.
I think there is a prevalent mentality that women are obligated (as if they gain no pleasure in it at all) to meet their husbands needs. (lest he seek satisfaction elsewhere)

My wife was actually told this by church women while she was growing up.
"If they aren't getting it at home, they are getting it somewhere else."
A teaching that made me rather upset. A woman was obligated to meet his needs. or lose him.
And in too many cases, preferred to lose him.

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[Lambano]

A Christian marriage counselor whose website I occasionally find useful in understanding the complexities of wives estimates that in about 15-30% of her clients, the wife is the higher-sex-drive spouse. Should the husband also see satisfying his wife's needs as a chore? (I ran into a couple of members of another forum where this was an actual problem in their marriages.)

Anybody remember this show?

 

[Wynona]

The harsh reality is that life gets complicated as the years of marriage wear on.
Something has to give, and typically intimacy is neglected.

The responsibilities do pile up.

And sometimes it feels like it all just wears on you. It seems like it's normal for adults everywhere to just feel tired and stressed all the time.

It's normal but I don't want to be normal. The excitement I had about life as a kid---I want to keep some of that. Sometimes I convince myself that life has to constantly be about self-improvement. But the lilies of the field neither toil or spin.

I have to remind myself to stop and really just enjoy life sometimes. Smell a flower. Watch a sunrise.

Sex reminds us of how fun and pleasurable life can be and helps us connect. Creativity wipes dust from our souls. I don't want to get old in my mind no matter how many years pass.

I want my husband to be proud and confident even in a room full of the most powerful men in the world. My attitude, my choices... cheerfulness, respect, gratitude, affection can help with that.

He's pretty confident these days but he ought to actually read the thoughts of how I see him today.

The most beautiful thing a husband can do for a wife is love her as Christ loved the Church. To love her until she is lovely. I hope I can inspire my man to be unshakeably confident because I believe in him. I trust him with my life.

 

[St. SteVen]

A Christian marriage counselor whose website I occasionally visit estimates that in about 15-30% of her clients, the wife is the higher-sex-drive spouse. Should the husband also see satisfying his wife's needs as a chore? (I ran into a couple of members of another forum where this was an actual problem in their marriages.)

If you reverse those percentages, you get 70 to 85%. (with lower sex-drive)

Every couple is different. I know a man who remarried and discovered that his new wife had an insatiable desire.
She was after him every night. The poor guy was worn out.

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[Rella ~ I am a woman]

I have an incredibly open mind, why not let me see your views by PM?

PM here? I have experienced send those and having someone comment or make one of those thumbs up signs to what I had written...

Thankfully I did not write anything I would not want someone to see but still.

If you want private DM.. direct message is not the way. Should strive for an email that you can set up for such purposes ... Just my 2 cents worth.

 

[Lambano]

If you reverse those percentages, you get 70 to 85%. (with lower sex-drive)

We had one woman on the forum whose doctor had prescribed testosterone to address post-partum depression after the birth of her second child. She told her husband later, "Good grief! Is this how you men feel ALL THE TIME?"

 

[St. SteVen]

We had one woman on the forum whose doctor had prescribed testosterone to address post-partum depression after the birth of her second child. She told her husband later, "Good grief! Is this how you men feel ALL THE TIME?"

I'm taking a medication as part of my cancer treatment that is a testosterone suppressant.
I get hot flashes as if I am menopausal. I lost my ability to parallel park, and I have a strange desire to go shoe shopping. - LOL

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[amadeus]

Put a penny in a jar for every time you have sex in your first year of marriage.
After the first year take a penny out for every time you have sex.
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[rockytopva]

Whoredom and wine and new wine take away the heart. - Hosea 4:11

"Whoredom and wine and new wine" along with drugs will be pleasures partook of until the end of the days. As the "feel good" is only temporal will leave the heart worse than what it was before and desiring more.

28 Likewise also as it was in the days of Lot; they did eat, they drank, they bought, they sold, they planted, they builded;
29 But the same day that Lot went out of Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven, and destroyed them all.
30 Even thus shall it be in the day when the Son of man is revealed. - Luke 17

And how corrupt was Sodom?

1 And there came two angels to Sodom at even; and Lot sat in the gate of Sodom: and Lot seeing them rose up to meet them; and he bowed himself with his face toward the ground;
2 And he said, Behold now, my lords, turn in, I pray you, into your servant's house, and tarry all night, and wash your feet, and ye shall rise up early, and go on your ways. And they said, Nay; but we will abide in the street all night.
3 And he pressed upon them greatly; and they turned in unto him, and entered into his house; and he made them a feast, and did bake unleavened bread, and they did eat.
4 But before they lay down, the men of the city, even the men of Sodom, compassed the house round, both old and young, all the people from every quarter:
5 And they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where are the men which came in to thee this night? bring them out unto us, that we may know them.
6 And Lot went out at the door unto them, and shut the door after him,
7 And said, I pray you, brethren, do not so wickedly.
8 Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known man; let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes: only unto these men do nothing; for therefore came they under the shadow of my roof.
9 And they said, Stand back. And they said again, This one fellow came in to sojourn, and he will needs be a judge: now will we deal worse with thee, than with them. And they pressed sore upon the man, even Lot, and came near to break the door.
10 But the men put forth their hand, and pulled Lot into the house to them, and shut to the door.
11 And they smote the men that were at the door of the house with blindness, both small and great: so that they wearied themselves to find the door. - Genesis 19

My advice these days is to...

Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. - 1 Corinthians 6:18

 

[Rella ~ I am a woman]

Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. - 1 Corinthians 6:18

I have no option. Not married and never have been (Not my choice but an extremely long story)

But that does not mean that the body is numb so I would suspect that the heavenly Father uses such to test the mortal man/woman.

After all... He doesn't give us more then we can bear . Right?

1 Cor 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.

I always thought the way of escape would be a husband. But for me I just have to suffer....
such as a punishment for youthful sins???? 60 years of suffering and I am not leaving this life yet...

 

[Bob Estey]

One partner for life?

What you get you are stuck with.

Was she raised in the church? Probably thinks sex is evil. Isn't that what we were taught?

I'm not advocating sexual promiscuity, but what can we make of this?

In the church we destroy sex with our religious views.

Discuss.

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I don' think the church is opposed to a sexual relationship between a husband and wife.

 

[St. SteVen]

I don' think the church is opposed to a sexual relationship between a husband and wife.

Before the miracle of birth is the miracle of Christian sex. - LOL

Tim and Bev to the rescue.



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