Somewhere in a holler in Tennessee, 1956...
“Hey Jebediah, did ya hear the news about Jesus Christ feeding the 5,000?!”
Jebediah: “I sure didn’t! What are you talking about?!”
“Oh my gosh, Jebediah; Jesus predicted the American interstate highway system!”
Jebediah: “HE DID WHAT?!”
“Yep! It’s all right there in the Bible!”
Jebediah: “Are you kidding me?! The Bible really says that?!”
“That’s right. Look here: Jesus said, ‘And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two.’ For nearly two thousand years Christians thought He was merely teaching people to go beyond what was required. They completely missed it. Christ was prophetically revealing the American Interstate Highway System! The five loaves represent five federal transportation zones, the two fish represent the House and Senate, and the twelve baskets left over prophetically signify the original twelve lanes of the Millennial Superhighway! He was pointing forward to a nationwide controlled-access highway network that would unite America under Eisenhower!”
Jebediah: “OH MY GOSH! Jesus was really talking about us?!?!!!”
"That's right! You didn’t see it before because you were just reading the Bible regular like.”
“Now, Jebediah, for just $24.95, you too can learn our system and discover all kinds of things secretly buried in God’s Word about the United States government!”
Jebediah: “YOU MEAN IT’S ALL IN THERE?!”
“Every bit of it! Congress, highways, federal agencies, tax districts; maybe even the Department of Transportation!”
Jebediah: “BUT I’VE READ THE BIBLE MY WHOLE LIFE!”
“Exactly, Jebediah. That was your first mistake. You were reading the Bible without our notes to let you know what God was really saying!”
Jebediah: “OH MY GOSH!!! Well I’ll be. Let me get my wallet!”
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