Withdrawing

[Shattered]

Again, I offer gratitude to those who offer prayer and an encouraging word for in truth, that's all I need. God bless you! The following words are not for you.

Many seated in the comfort of insolence do not comprehend the nature of that war which rages under their noses. I'm surrounded by murders, drugs that kill, disasters, fires, gunfire and explosions and yet there are those who come to say, "If you would only trust in the Lord... if you would only do this... if you would only do that." Weep with those who weep, don't judge your brother who doesn't dwell in the comfort of your insolence.

For those who have come to my prayer request to engage in such a thing I have this to say: you know nothing because having eyes to see, you see nothing and having ears to hear, you never listened. If you have not stared headlong into the barrel of a gun pointed at you; if you have not walked where suffering is unspeakable and the cries of the lost can be heard day and night; if you have not lost everything, then who are you to judge me? How can you say, "If you would only do this or only do that?"

Why should I respond in any other way to you? You never believed me when I was speaking to you, so why do you come here to my prayer request if not to vex my soul with your insolence?

Am I to be blamed because the weariness proves too great a burden to bear at times? That I'm burdened beyond endurance by what I have heard and seen? And still the Lord who raised me up and sent me where the suffering is unspeakable favors me, and still there are times when I want nothing more than to flee to the wilderness where I will find peace once more. I will never have to stare at the muzzle again... I will never hear the heart-wrenching cries of the addict in the throes of withdrawal... I will never have to pass by the bodies of those slain by the murderers... and I will never again have to be vexed by the insolent who laugh when their brother weeps, never believing a word spoken to them.

If you haven't come to offer prayer and an encouraging word, then don't come at all.

 

[Heart2Soul]

Praying that I can stay the course and endure, not cut everyone and everything off, and not disappear into the wilderness which is the only place on this earth I ever loved. It's getting harder to remain with every passing day because those whom I thought I knew are like strangers to me now. I don't know them, and they don't know me.

Hello Shattered...I think God needs to give you a new name.....one He has specifically chosen just for you...something like Samson, or David, maybe even Peter!
It's been a long while since I have started a thread... I just bring myself to get started....it takes a lot of time and effort and research and study and yada yada yada...lol..but I have just recently started 2 threads in the spirituality forum,,,,and both have to do with who and what we war against or wars against us daily and it isn't anyone here or outside of here...its the enemy....satan and his demons....
As I write scriptures start entering my thoughts and so here goes some good encouragement from the Truth of God's Word...and the Truth wll set you free...
So your battle is principalities and powers, spiritual wickedness, rulers of darkness and such...
The Word of God says so very plainly and here it is....
EPHESIANS 6:10-20
10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.
11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;
15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:
18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;
19 And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel,
20 For which I am an ambassador in bonds: that therein I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.

 

[Heart2Soul]

Secondly, daily their is a spiritual battle being fought against us to destroy us....but His Word says fight the good fight of FAITH....the battle belongs to the Lord and the victory is already won....

But guess what....some people give up too quickly and leave here wounded and defeated......there is not one time in the Bible that says Satan has ever won the victory when battling against the children of God...that is those who stand and having done all to stand......they STAND!
Why? because they know who/what is at work behind the scenes and they stay to help expose the enemy and save a brother or sister from losing hope and faith as well..
Don't let Satan have ANY VICTORIES over your life....get up there and stand with Jesus and fight....put on your armor and cause the devil to retreat and surrender to the authority we have in Jesus...who is the author and finisher of our faith.

 

[Shattered]

Hello Shattered...I think God needs to give you a new name.....one He has specifically chosen just for you...something like Samson, or David, maybe even Peter!
It's been a long while since I have started a thread... I just bring myself to get started....it takes a lot of time and effort and research and study and yada yada yada...lol..but I have just recently started 2 threads in the spirituality forum,,,,and both have to do with who and what we war against or wars against us daily and it isn't anyone here or outside of here...its the enemy....satan and his demons....
As I write scriptures start entering my thoughts and so here goes some good encouragement from the Truth of God's Word...and the Truth wll set you free...
So your battle is principalities and powers, spiritual wickedness, rulers of darkness and such...
The Word of God says so very plainly and here it is....
EPHESIANS 6:10-20
10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.
11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;
15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:
18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;
19 And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel,
20 For which I am an ambassador in bonds: that therein I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.

I'm grateful for what you have shared with me here, @Heart2Soul . Most of my energy was spent responding to some who have visited this prayer request to engage in otherwise unedifying conduct and words. I think it's shameful that they would do such a thing to someone who expresses a need for prayer during the trial, but you are not such a one yourself. I'm edified by the words you've shared here and I'm the better for having read them.

The Lord bless you, Heart2Soul. Unfortunately that's the extent of words for me for the time being. I need rest and refreshing.

 

[Amazed@grace]

**I apologize for my typos, y'all. I am using a new phone with a very irritating tendency to randomly change my words.

Phew, I'm not the only one.
Darn frustrating is what it is.

 

[Heart2Soul]

I'm grateful for what you have shared with me here, @Heart2Soul . Most of my energy was spent responding to some who have visited this prayer request to engage in otherwise unedifying conduct and words. I think it's shameful that they would so such a thing to someone who expresses a need for prayer during the trial, but you are not such a one yourself. I'm edified by the words you've shared here and I'm the better for having read them.

The Lord bless you, Heart2Soul. Unfortunately that's the extent of words for me for the time being. I need rest and refreshing.

Thank you, brother....I have been in this place in the past....the spiritual emptiness, void of any ability to be a faithful servant of the Lord....but I praise God for those who were sent to exhort, encourage, edify and uplift me with His Word and with their love for a brethren in trouble.....Love you brother
Stay! I give you a 21 day challenge to hang around and see what the Lord is about to do in you....

 

[Jostler]

I think you may have misunderstood. I am very sorry I hurt you.

 

[lilygrace]

@Shattered i hope you stay. I enjoyed talking to you.

 

[thelord's_pearl]

*hugs*

 

[Heart2Soul]

You don't know and in truth, it's prudent that I don't share my testimony on this forum which is neither a reflection upon you nor the wonderful brethren who frequent this place. I recognize the work of His Spirit and His gifts through others and there are some who know Christ and are known by Him, but I will not devote a single of word of what I've endured and witnessed here. That can wait until the last day when all things will be made manifest.

But there are a few who know of these things so perhaps the meaning of my words in a previous post will be easier to understand. They never believed me when I was speaking to them for if they had, then instead of speaking at me they would be weeping with me. There's nothing quite as barren as one who professes understanding when in truth they do not understand. Those who promise to listen when they rarely, if ever, actually listen to the words they hear. They're swept away by the sound of their own voice and the glamor of their opinions.

The opposite of James 1:19, in other words. For the longest time I have borne this in silence for the Lord impressed upon me the need to be slow to anger. Much to my surprise, He does not disapprove of the rebuke which was long in the coming! It's entirely fitting for this is not my wrath but the conviction of truth simply and plainly stated: they never listened nor believed me when I was speaking to them; insolence is not a shield to keep the truth at bay.

Don't worry much about me, @Heart2Soul . I'm all too familiar with the fiery trial... would it surprise you to learn that the Lord spoke of this before it came to pass? Yes, this is why I have been disquieted in my soul for His Spirit spoke of the fiery trial to come. It's been here for several weeks now.

I relate very well to what you are saying...well I will leave it between you and the Lord...
BTW I dont worry...or fear.

 

[dev553344]

Hi @Shattered, nature can bring peace. When I moved to California and took on some challenges, I would often go for walks and find real inner peace in nature in the mountains above LA. And forums can be overwhelming at times for me and for people I interact with. For me: I push people away sometimes and other times they push me away. I take breaks.

Well I try to find peace in the Lord as he has spiritual fruits that I have grown to really love: Galatians 5:22-23. And I only get that from service to God. I hope you find your peace! Praying for you.

 

[Shattered]

Hi @Shattered, nature can bring peace. When I moved to California and took on some challenges, I would often go for walks and find real inner peace in nature in the mountains above LA. And forums can be overwhelming at times for me and for people I interact with. For me: I push people away sometimes and other times they push me away. I take breaks.

Well I try to find peace in the Lord as he has spiritual fruits that I have grown to really love: Galatians 5:22-23. And I only get that from service to God. I hope you find your peace! Praying for you.

In this case it wouldn't be good for me to depart, Devin, and I'm not referring to getting away from forums. The wilderness I'm referring to is a remote and desolate place where people enter and are never seen again. Dozens of people vanish without a trace every year and yet I know it and love it like no other place on this earth. I survived there for many years and came to know it like the back of my hand. It was where Jesus Christ raised me up, after all.

It's rugged and unforgiving country inaccessible to vehicles and even helicopters, populated with bears, mountain lions, rattlesnakes, and enclaves of wicked men who can only be described as "children of the devil." As terrible and evil as they are I currently live in a warzone where men like them murder, deal lethal drugs, and do unspeakable things to the downtrodden and the needy. It's horrible beyond words. They set fires, cause explosions, and shoot indiscriminately at both buildings and people. They'll cruise down the road and unload dozens of rounds at dwelling places along one side of the street. Murders happen so frequently here but you'll never read about it in the news.

All I can do is stand and walk as Jesus Christ my Lord and God bids me to, but do you understand that I'm not afraid of dying? I have faced death many times and I know that He is with me... but the suffering and evil in this city tears my heart open every night. This is what those who claim to know me don't understand, because they never bothered to listen to a word I said.

I forgive them but that doesn't make the insolence any easier to bear. The fact that anyone would torment the suffering is an abomination, and only serves to inflame that urge to flee this city of horrors. All I asked for here is prayer. That's it, and I thank you for your kindness.

 

[dev553344]

In this case it wouldn't be good for me to depart, Devin, and I'm not referring to getting away from forums. The wilderness I'm referring to is a remote and desolate place where people enter and are never seen again. Dozens of people vanish without a trace every year and yet I know it and love it like no other place on this earth. I survived there for many years and came to know it like the back of my hand. It was where Jesus Christ raised me up, after all.

It's rugged and unforgiving country inaccessible to vehicles and even helicopters, populated with bears, mountain lions, rattlesnakes, and enclaves of wicked men who can only be described as "children of the devil." As terrible and evil as they are I currently live in a warzone where men like them murder, deal lethal drugs, and do unspeakable things to the downtrodden and the needy. It's horrible beyond words. They set fires, cause explosions, and shoot indiscriminately at both buildings and people. They'll cruise down the road and unload dozens of rounds at dwelling places along one side of the street. Murders happen so frequently here but you'll never read about it in the news.

All I can do is stand and walk as Jesus Christ my Lord and God bids me to, but do you understand that I'm not afraid of dying? I have faced death many times and I know that He is with me... but the suffering and evil in this city tears my heart open every night. This is what those who claim to know me don't understand, because they never bothered to listen to a word I said.

I forgive them but that doesn't make the insolence any easier to bear. The fact that anyone would torment the suffering is an abomination, and only serves to inflame that urge to flee this city of horrors. All I asked for here is prayer. That's it, and I thank you for your kindness.

OH, I see. Yeah tough decision. Which is why you wanted prayers. Ya know Satan likes to torment the suffering. Something I learned from his afflictions against me. Interesting to me that there are creatures like that. I live in the ghetto so I see stuff happen, and we had a few people dis-apear from here and I've seen people laying dead on the side of the road. I'm not totally sure what you mean by what you say. So I'll just pray for you. Hope you get feeling better!

 

[Shattered]

Praying for you, brother. You're maneuvering through some very intense issues and that can make you feel like everything is foreign.
You have friends who care deeply. If you need distance, that's okay. But I believe God created us for family.

I regret that it took me this long to respond to your post.

The Lord bless you, @TLHKAJ . I'm so grateful for your prayers. You understand where I'm coming from and you also get that the urge to withdraw and flee is about survival and cohesion. But the Lord presses me and so I must stand firm because if anyone has much to examine in himself, then that person is me. DID, PTSD, and everything that accompanies it is an obstacle that I will overcome in Jesus Christ. He promised me and so this is what the fiery trial is really about: standing firm even when everything inside of me cries out, "Run!"

I will stand and not flee because I should already be dead, and you know that. We live by the grace of God and I'm thankful that He finally sent you my way. You're someone who knows what I face. That's the mercy and love of the Son of God, that He gives us one another so we might share our burdens... I'm just so accustomed to facing them alone that I often forget that you're there.

 

[Shattered]

I think you may have misunderstood. I am very sorry I hurt you.

I'm only seeing this now, five hours after you wrote it. I'm struggling to find words and not a single one of them will do. Not at all.

It's such a terrible thing, to be caught up in the heart of a storm, and you open your eyes to the terrible truth that you sank a blade into the heart of your best friend. I don't deserve a friend like you. You are already forgiven and I hold nothing against you, but this says nothing about what I have done to you. I'm not blameless. I'm the guilty one.

 

[Jostler]

Brother, we are all guilty. I need to be more sensitive and learn to listen for His words before I speak. You are my friend, and a precious one. This will work out just fine. The One who is NEVER guilty will ensure it. You just got hit with one of the blindsides most survivors will be hit with on their journey.....brutally shocking...difficult. He knew you were ready. And He will deal with it...and heal.

Romans 8:1 ASV — There is therefore now no condemnation to them that are in Christ Jesus.

 

[TLHKAJ]

I'm only seeing this now, five hours after you wrote it. I'm struggling to find words and not a single one of them will do. Not at all.

It's such a terrible thing, to be caught up in the heart of a storm, and you open your eyes to the terrible truth that you sank a blade into the heart of your best friend. I don't deserve a friend like you. You are already forgiven and I hold nothing against you, but this says nothing about what I have done to you. I'm not blameless. I'm the guilty one.

Brother, we are all guilty. I need to be more sensitive and learn to listen for His words before I speak. You are my friend, and s precious one. This will work out just fine. The One who is NEVER guilty will ensure it. You just got hit with one of the blindsides most survivors will be hit with on their journey.....brutally shocking...difficult. He knew you were ready. And He will deal with it...and heal.

Romans 8:1 ASV — There is therefore now no condemnation to them that are in Christ Jesus.

I'm literally in tears .....grateful for these posts, grateful for my brothers ....and grateful for God's work here in our midst.

 

[Jostler]

A long time ago, my online name was Stormdancer. I was shown that those biggest, nastiest, hail filled, tornado spinning thunderstorms have flat tops...like a dancefloor

 

[Jostler]

there's a limit to how big a storm can get....it can't go any higher and flattens out. No rain, hail or tornados up there. Just sunshine, stillness....and Him. He likes to dance...

 

[TLHKAJ]

A long time ago, my online name was Stormdancer. I was shown that those biggest, nastiest, hail filled, tornado spinning thunderstorms have flat tops...like a dancefloor

there's a limit to how big a storm can get....it can't go any higher and flattens out. No rain, hail or tornados up there. Just sunshine....and Him. He likes to dance...

I absolutely LOVE that!!!!