Grailhunter
Well-Known Member
You didn't answer this question: "If your first sexual intercourse is marriage, then are all future relationships are adultery?"
Do you believe in remarriage?
And it is a huge assumption that I have read all your posts... Having to repeat yourself is the nature of forums.
LOL All of that and I did not answer your question. I am sorry, I was trying to shorten the answer. I am a walking speech and I can go on and on. So here ya go it is long.
In the Old Testament and with the Jews it was different.
For Christians it is a matter of morality. And we can discuss that.
When you have sex with someone you are married and if you have sex with someone else it is adultery. Part of the reason that it is important to know that is that people go carousing around thinking they are getting away with something and they are not. The word fornication and its modern definition does not appear in the Bible but, the Greek word that they replaced with fornication...at its root means sex with prostitutes...temple prostitutes. And the variances of the root meant illicit sex and sexual misconduct....I am going to give a few examples here of different translations of
Galatians 5:21
and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. NIV
Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. KJV
envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. NASB
Then 1st Corinthians 6:9-10 Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor those habitually drunk, nor verbal abusers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.
Then Ephesians 5:5 For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
So sexual misconduct is defined in the New Testament with serious consequences. But the seriousness of this can be misunderstood if you do not understand the significance of having sex. That significance can actually be down played by the word fornication being plastered all through the scriptures. A single person having casual with multiple partners .... does it occur to them that they are going to hell....well the scriptures say it is a possibility.
The fact that having sex forms a marriage, does not lower the bar of sexual conduct....it raises it. These Greek words that have been lumped into the word fornication and inserted into the Bible, these Greek words had specific meanings and defined different types of sexual misconduct....sexual sins. Fornication was a Latin word that pointed directly at prostitutes but the modern definition came to mean mostly two unmarried people having sex. Well then you lose a lot of the meaning in the scriptures because the Greek words address various types of sexual misconduct. And it makes no sense because that was how people formed a marriage. So it was not a sin for two people to have sex to form a marriage.
Two people falling in love and having sex.
The whole concept from start to finish was designed by God....the devil was not even consulted. Two people find each other attractive....they spend time together and become very fond of each other....they fall in love and they desire to make love....to have and to hold....to kiss, caress, and make love. And when they join they are married. God designed the emotions and the desires that drives that. No sin occurs in the natural progression of things.
If God did not make those desires, women would go shopping and men would gather and watch football and no families would form. It is when we do not respect ourselves and do not respect others is where sin occurs.
Now divorce and remarriage. One of the difficulties with this is that the NT does not take a lot of time with romantic relationships....Saving souls is the priority....no focus on the family. Christ was returning soon and the recommendation.....do not get married because things are going to go bad. Paul give up marriage as a concession. Better to marry than to burn.
So what do we have? Well the conversation that Christ (a Jew) had with other Jews, was specifically about the Mosaic Law. So there is not a lot that we can glean from that conversation for Christians...the circumstances are different and the consequences are different. The letter of divorcement is from the Mosaic Law and Christians did not adopt that practice and the word divorce does not appear outside the four Gospels. We do not know how many wives these Jews had. And a divorced Jewish woman in that era was more or less a death sentence.... very cruel.
Now Paul addresses marriage, couples separating...departing...leaving, in 1st Corinthians chapter 7 verses 10-11 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
Romans 7:2-3 For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law that binds her to him. So then, if she has sexual relations with another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress if she marries another man.
There is no mention of the husband remaining unmarried and the answer to that you are not going to like.
There is no consideration for an abused wife or children here. And you are not going to like that answer either. Some point to the discussion that Christ had with the Jews that said the husband could not remarry if he divorced his wife.....but the guy could have had six wives and even at that the Apostles nearly revolted. Keep in mind that the Jews practiced polygamy for another 1000 years after Christ.
So the Bible does not give women an out. So to answer your question....from the fundamentalist stand point, remarriage for women is specifically addressed, and it is a sin to remarry. Does that apply to men....it is a matter of opinion.
Some women have died with their children trying to save a marriage. Some live with abuse some show up on the 5 O'clock news. Should a divorced woman live without love or a father figure for her children? In the NT they were thinking that Christ could show up any day now, so the expected time was short, not a life time. So none of that was taken into consideration.
Now my personal opinion....I am not a fundamentalist....bible only. I believe the Holy Ghost over 2000 years has taught us many things. So you have to take my opinion for what it is worth. I believe marriage is for people that are in love. I believe it is worth the effort to work it out and get counselling if needed. But marriage is not for the abused....I know for a fact that people can love one another and not be able to live together. Married people that act like they hate each other are not doing the children any favors.
In our era where divorce is a process I say do not wait until your children have to dodge the bullets. Get a divorce and work on good terms so the children do not suffer. If you meet someone and fall in love have a wedding. Good luck.
But as you can see, my advise is not biblical, I do not pretend that it is. I believe we have learned a better way....LOL...as long as you respect marriage and do your best. Whether it be intellectually or heartfelt I believe it is better to part on good terms so an extended family can function for the children.
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