Out of everything God created in the beginning, there was only one thing God said was not good.
Gen 2:18
And the LORD God said,
It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
"holy emptiness"
This was my life:
When I was 14 I gave birth to a daughter. I was date raped and fearful to tell my parents. By the time I got around to mentioning it I was already 4 months pregnant. This was in 1979 when the only alternative I had was to keep the child or give her up for adoption.
My parents supported whatever choice I made. At 8 months I chose to keep her. They provided everything, clothes, formula, furniture, etc.
I met a man 11 years older than me when I was 18. He was a hard worker. I was having conflicts with my parents on how to raise the child.
Of course I knew ir all, I was a teenager. This man had just come out of a divorce and I was looking to make my own life and create my own family. We worked a lot. We argued a lot. We managed to stay married for 16 years.
Our marriage had become so distant that he lived at one end of the house and I the other. We didn't talk anymore.
He met another woman and I met another man and we parted our ways uncontested.
My second husband was not my husband until after living with him for 6 years. His parents didn't approve and wouldn't stay under his roof as long as we remained unmarried.
So we got married. The relationship for some reason began to go downhill. We both wanted things our own way.
For almost 10 years we were over the road truckers living in a sleeper the size of a twin bed, 24/7/365.
The road was hard. Not much sleep, poor diet, no real exercise. And the conversations always revolved around where the next load would take us. I couldn't get a CDL license because I had no peripheal vision in my right eye. So I was the secratary, the accountant, the scheduler, and I charted out the map.
I ended up getting real sick and couldn't walk. The doctor said my main artery had a blockage in it and I wold need a major operation.
We didn't have health insurance, so we got a divorce so I could get help from the state. The operation would of cost $400,000.00.
I had a belief in God but I didn't know God. And I didn't have a lot of time to study.
Around the same time, he went to get his physical and they found he had the same thing I did, except his blockage was stopping blood from getting to his organsm liver, kidneys... mine only stopped the bloodflow to my legs. I wasn't in critical condition as he was.
So he went in for the surgery and I nursed him back to health for 5 months. When he went back to work he told me I should go and get my surgery. I asked him, will you stay home and care for me? He said he couldn't he had to work to pay the bills. So I opted out.
In 2017 we had a hurricane Irma heading to Florida. We were in the direct path of a catagory 5. He was in Mississippi at the time.
I was scared. I asked him to come home incase something happened, he ssaid he didn't want to put the truck in harms way.
I got furious. His mother lived not far away and told me she wanted to live with her other son in NH and would I take her.
My father lives in Maine and so I asked if I could move up here because the property in florida was devastated. The flooding was bad. The house was damaged by a tree. He said yes.
So I packed up 10 cats, a dog, and my mother-in-law and headed on a 3 day journey. It was difficult. But we made it. She found housing near her son and I came and stayed in my fathers camp.
He didn't want me back and I didn't want to go back.
I been single, unattached to anyone for 6 years. I am at peace. I spend most my time listening, reading, studying, praying, conversing on this forum, and I am content.
Is this what you would consider "holy emptiness" ?
I feel fuller and closer to God than I ever have in my entire life. To me, it is anything but empty. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
Just sharing...
Hugs