Forgiveness

[Lambano]

How do we love our enemies?

Verrrrrryyyyy carefully.

 

[Triumph1300]

When we forgive people it does not mean we have to socialize with them and become friends.
And we don;'t have to justify their behaviour.
It means "forgive" and "move on" and "let go of hard feelings".
Sometimes people think that forgiving means becoming close friends all of a sudden.

 

[Lambano]

One of the things "forgiveness" means is letting go of the urge to WRING THEIR FREAKIN' NECKS!

 

[Sister-n-Christ]

We are told by Jesus, to forgive, as we are forgiven.
He also said that forgiveness is to be from the heart.

So, how do we forgive?

How do we love our enemies?

As for forgiveness, forgiving those who wrong you isn't forgetting what you suffered.

Forgiving them frees you to remember but without hatred in your heart.
If you continue to hate your enemy after their offense,you continue to be assaulted by that recurring memory. And they then continue to take your life from healing and joy back to resentment and malice.

Let it go. What they are who did that evil thing is what lives within them. And what they live with and as.

While you have a choice. Be a perpetual victim. Or, a victorious healed thriving survivor.

And boy will that tick them off .

 

[Seeding Loving]

forgiveness is something that many people have different feelings about

and the very meaning of Forgiveness has different meanings and effects of different people and different situations.

 

[ProDeo]

This is a good question. It's not cut-and-dried.

The Greek word for "to forgive" is ἀφίημι, "aphiemi", which literally means "to send away" or "to let go". When used of a financial debt, it means exactly that, to let it go with no expectation of repayment. The same concept applies to interpersonal relationships, and Jesus often used the debt model in His parables.

One of the books I read defined "forgiveness" is the attitude that the offense will not stand in the way of restoring the relationship. The restoration of a busted relationship, reconciliation, is a separate (but related) topic.

But it's not cut-and-dried. I don't see how you can have relationships without setting boundaries, and how do you have a continued relationship with someone who continuously violates boundaries?. Sometimes reconciliation is not possible unless the offending person changes their behavior.

What your president JFK once said, forgive your enemies but never forget their name.

 

[Triumph1300]

And boy will that tick them off

That should not be the goal, I would think....

 

[Sister-n-Christ]

That should not be the goal, I would think....

Obviously not. However for them,it is an inevitability.

 

[TLHKAJ]

That should not be the goal, I would think....

That's what I was coming back to say (after reading, then cooking and eating a 20oz skirt steak, lol). If our motive is to tick them off, the we most likely have not actually forgiven and let them go.

 

[quietthinker]

We are told by Jesus, to forgive, as we are forgiven.
He also said that forgiveness is to be from the heart.

So, how do we forgive?

How do we love our enemies?

Being able to forgive is the result of understanding ones own forgiveness.
He/she who loves little has the perception of being forgiven little; he/she who loves much understands much has been forgiven him/her.

 

[Nancy]

This is a good question. It's not cut-and-dried.

The Greek word for "to forgive" is ἀφίημι, "aphiemi", which literally means "to send away" or "to let go". When used of a financial debt, it means exactly that, to let it go with no expectation of repayment. The same concept applies to interpersonal relationships, and Jesus often used the debt model in His parables.

One of the books I read defined "forgiveness" is the attitude that the offense will not stand in the way of restoring the relationship. The restoration of a busted relationship, reconciliation, is a separate (but related) topic.

But it's not cut-and-dried. I don't see how you can have relationships without setting boundaries, and how do you have a continued relationship with someone who continuously violates boundaries?. Sometimes reconciliation is not possible unless the offending person changes their behavior.

Thanks Lamb! I agree brother.

 

[Lambano]

Thanks Lamb! I agree brother.

Thanks, Sis, but I'm not sure I even agree with my own append.

Our own sinfulness may be deeper than we realize, so our own repentance may necessarily be incomplete. Thus, God's own grace and forgiveness (which, in the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant, is the model which Jesus challenges us to apply in our own relationships) may be far greater than we can fully comprehend.

So, we are challenged to forgive others' relatively small debts to us without their full repentance, as God has forgiven our own unpayable debt. But I don't know how we can do that without allowing others to walk all over us. Seventy times seven times.

“Cheer up! You're a worse sinner than you ever dared imagine, and you're more loved than you ever dared hope.”​

― Jack Miller

(Note: The last time posted Mr. Miller's quote, I got a lot of frowny-faces.)

 

[Pet]

So, the reason I started this thread, is obviously a personal thing.

There were two people in my life, who I despised. One more than the other.
You know those people, who you wouldn't even pass the time of day with, unless you were forced to.
They did me, as Paul would say, much harm, and I chose to cut them out of my life, emotionally.
I came to faith in the 90's and tried everything in my power to forgive them. I needed to, but simply could not.

In 2016 though, I had a breakthrough. I had prayed, yet again, then concluded that it was impossible, and that The Lord actually understood! I was off the hook.
Then, at a gathering, i glanced over at one of them with the usual disgust, and saw, for the first time, something heart-rending. I saw that God absolutely loved them, and that they were broken.

The strangest thing was, I wasn't even in the equation. It was between them and The Lord, and their salvation was all that mattered, to God and me.

So, the forgiveness, for me, came in the form of compassion. It was forgiveness, and it was NOTHING of me.

Then I noticed that I had completely forgotten what they did! It was absolutely gone.
So, i know that we can forgive and forget.

What they meant for harm, The Lord meant for good...

The other person, I haven't got there yet.
So pls pray for that

 

[Behold]

I came to faith in the 90's and tried everything in my power to forgive them. I needed to, but simply could not.

The Key to forgive the unforgivable person, is to say "i forgive you" outloud .

See, God understands how we feel, as God is The Father of the One who was writhing on The Cross for the sin of filthy humanity..........who dont deserve it...........including today and tomorrow. Including ME and YOU.
God understands a horrlble and unfair situation, and Jesus certainly understands it because it happened to Him.

So, we forgive, by intention......by meaning to try........by offering it the best we can, when we speak the words... "I forgive YOU".

If you dont feel the forgiveness.......dont worry about it.
God is not looking for your feelings, He's looking for our obedience, and sometimes we will not like it.

Christianity = Discipleship...... is not designed to be fun and games.......its designed to make you HOLY and Christ-Like, as your permanent BEHAVIOR.

And most of all dear SAINT......forgive yourself for past mistakes.....and for wrong choices...and for choosing to sin which terribly harmed your life or someone you love.

Just completely forgive yourself, as God already has....... and live THERE.

 

[Pet]

The Key to forgive the unforgivable person, is to say "i forgive you" outloud.

See, God understands how we feel, as on one hand He is The Father of the One who was writhing on The Cross for the sin of filthy humanity..........who dont deserve it...........including today and tomorrow.
God understands a horrlble and unfair situation, and Jesus certainly understands it because it happened to Him.

So, we forgive, by intention......by meaning to try........by offering it the best we can, when we speak the words... "I forgive YOU".

If you dont feel the forgiveness.......dont worry about it.
God is not looking for your feelings, He's looing for our obedience, and sometimes we will not like it.

Christianity = Discipleship...... is not designed to be fun and games.......its designed to make you HOLY and Christ Like, as your permanent BEHAVIOR.

And most of all......forgive yourself for past mistakes.....and for wrong choices...and for sinning that harmed your life or someone you love.

Just forgive yourself, as God already has....... and live THERE.

I wasnt willing to forgive the person i forgave, i had no intention. Also, i have often said it out loud, and to the other person. Nothing.
Jesus said forgive "from the heart"... point is, we cannot pretend, it has to be real.
we know when forgiveness comes, because its so astonishing, and there are absolutely no excuses. We must forgive, and it is always possible...with God

 

[Behold]

we know when forgiveness comes, because its so astonishing, and there are absolutely no excuses. We must forgive, and it is always possible...with God

You preceive that you have accomplished forgiveness, because you got a nice warm feeling.

However, the verse does not say....>"forgive and get a nice warm feeling".
It simply says to "forgive"....and that is not a feeling, that is a choice, and it may not feel very good.

What forgiveness does most of all, is it allowes you to be released from unforgiveness, and unforgiveness is an emotional poison that harms YOU.
So, when we put our lips into the service of forgiveness, this allows our "belly" the bible calls it...(the well of our emotions) to be allowed to heal.

Have you considered that when the Head has a problem, the stomach is upset.
An ulcer in the stomach, is based on negative Head thoughts that are producing it.

So, unforgiveness is self inflicted emotional inner harm...and God wants us to be free from this, for OUR sake, most of all.

 

[Sister-n-Christ]

I think we have to consider God's example as the teacher of his chosen.

And it behooves us to realize man's part in compiling the canon of His words.

Did God love his enemies? Does God love those who are enemies of his Gospel? Does God allow Satanists into Heaven? Democrats. No,no,no, I'm totally kidding there.

If we His people are to love our enemies why doesn't God love His?

Whereas,if Roman governors,citizens, wanted to make conquest through faith easier for an authority determined to rule the world, what better way than to tell believers in what they compiled and proffered as God speaking his directives, than to say,love your enemies. Obey the emperor.

I don't love my enemies. Love is a precious gift and privilege . I don't bring those who hate me and wish me ill into the embrace of love that I hold for God and family and friends.

It's a quality thing. If I blanket those who hate me with the same passion and respect I hold for others,when that enemy has no respect for me,and their only passion is wishing me dead, then there is no discrimination in sharing that deepest of community passions.

God leads by example. We should follow that. We must discern what is of God and what is not.

 

[Behold]

I don't love my enemies.

Jesus died for His enemies.... as this is God's love.

It's a quality thing. If I blanket those who hate me with the same passion

Well, God's love is agape' love and that is not about warm loving feelings, that is about compassion and charity.

A Christian does not love their emeny the same way they love their family.
A Christian loves their enemy the same way that God loves His enemies, and that is not the same as how He loves His Son, or His Son's Bride.

 

[Sister-n-Christ]

Jesus died for His enemies.... as this is God's love.

And he brings them to Heaven when they die unredeemed.

Well, God's love is agape' love and that is not about warm loving feelings, that is about compassion and charity.

A Christian does not love their emeny the same way they love their family.
A Christian loves their enemy the same way that God loves His enemies, and that is not the same as how He loves His Son, or His Son's Bride.

Read the Old Testament and get back to me on that part.

 

[Nancy]

Thanks, Sis, but I'm not sure I even agree with my own append.

Our own sinfulness may be deeper than we realize, so our own repentance may necessarily be incomplete. Thus, God's own grace and forgiveness (which, in the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant, is the model which Jesus challenges us to apply in our own relationships) may be far greater than we can fully comprehend.

So, we are challenged to forgive others' relatively small debts to us without their full repentance, as God has forgiven our own unpayable debt. But I don't know how we can do that without allowing others to walk all over us. Seventy times seven times.

“Cheer up! You're a worse sinner than you ever dared imagine, and you're more loved than you ever dared hope.”​

― Jack Miller

(Note: The last time posted Mr. Miller's quote, I got a lot of frowny-faces.)

" But I don't know how we can do that without allowing others to walk all over us. Seventy times seven times."

Exactly my question! Jesus did not forgive those who did not confess or at least own their sin.