I'll start at the beginning and end with God extending His mercy and grace, while alone, one afternoon.
I came from a violent home, (drugs, alcohol, gun shots, being chased with knives, people thrown thru picture pane windows), in fact I was born three months early because my father kicked my mother in the stomach, I weighed two pounds nine ounces.
As early as 6 or 7 yrs old I was out on the streets till 3-4am, I was put in three orphanages... once my father snuck into our house, he put a loaded pistol in my hand and told me to shoot my sisters and my mother, it was crazy.
Through all of this, (which I wouldn't change), I came out a fairly normal kid, I was involved in sports and didn't do drugs, or drink. I thought I was a survivor, wanting only to make it through another day.
At age 16 (in 1974) I started to sense a need in my life, an emptiness that I couldn't explain. I knew I had to find God/Jesus, but who was HE? I had no idea where to find HIM, so I went to the local library to find books concerning world religions, God, and the occult.
At the library I met an ex-hippie (Gary Osborn) he saw my books and decided to share the message with me. Gary invited me to pray in the back of his V.W. so I did, I remember saying "God forgive me for my sins, and whatever you have for me I want it all".
At first nothing happened I expected, lightening or something. Gary said, "Just go home and praise God" I said, "What's that, mean" Gary said, "Just thank him" So I did just that.
Before I asked Jesus into my heart, I never heard voices, I never had visions, Also I never drank, and I never did drugs, but one week after meeting Jesus while in the middle of my last class (during high school) A voice, just as clear, as someone standing next to you, spoke, and the voice said, "tell them about Jesus"
I was surprised, but unafraid, I put my hand over my mouth, since I didn't want anyone to think I was talking too myself, I said (to whoever spoke to me) "I don't know what to say" the voice said "don't be afraid, I'll give you the words to say"
To this day I don't remember my words, but I spoke to those kids about Jesus and salvation, their mouths just dropped open and then, class was over, I walked out of that room, feeling like I had never felt before.
The next day was Saturday; I slept in the living room on an old couch. When I woke it was early and I decided to turn on the TV, to watch my favorite cartoon, the roadrunner.
As I sat there watching the TV, I got up and looked outside, everything was so beautiful, (I never appreciated nature, I just wanted to make it through another day). BUT now it was so pretty, I sat back down on the couch, and as I did, I was somewhere else.
I was sitting at a long-rough-hewn table, to my right, was Jesus, to my left was Satan, (he looked like a very handsome man but very big) then in front of me was the father, I couldn't see him, but knew exactly who He was. Suddenly three bowls appear, filled with what looked like porridge. Now the father spoke and said Satan dismiss yourself, Satan stood and screamed, then vanished. Three bites were taken out of the bowl.
Then all at once I was watching myself from a distance, walking with Jesus up a grassy pathway. Jesus was speaking to me but from a distance I couldn't hear him, I could see myself shaking my head (like I understand) then thru my eyes, as my normal, physical eyesight returns, I see the house where I had been sleeping, the TV was on, my favorite cartoon still playing.
I didn't know what had happened; I'd never experienced anything like that. I sat for a while pondering all of this. I say to myself, Oh I get it. This is like an initiation thing, that God does to people after they accept Jesus.
I'll go find some Christian or even a pastor, and I'll tell them what just happened, and they will explain it to me, and laugh saying "Yes same thing happened to me", there is nothing to do, and nothing to worry about.
How do I find some Christians, to talk to about this, and what pastor do I go to, we have a church on every corner. Surely it doesn't matter, they must all be the same, just a different building.
When I finally found some Christians to talk to, and told them what happened, they just looked at me with a weird expression on their faces.
Next, I decide, I must get a bible. I knew of a Christian bookstore in town.
The lady greeted me, asked if she could help. I told her I wanted a bible. She said what version. I said what do you mean, I just want a bible. She said we have NAS, KJV, AS, and others. I said what are those. Finally, she recommended a KJV.
Then she said what kind of bible do you want. I said give me the KJV, like we just discussed. She said Well we have different types. I said what do you mean different types.
She said we have Family Bibles, Study Bibles, Reference Bibles, Devotional, and Children's Bibles, all in KJV. Oh man, I was confused.
So, I said do you have a big one, one with pictures. She said, that would be a Family bible. It was huge, 18 by 12 by 5 I was so proud, I hopped on the bus, hoping everyone noticed my new bible.
I arrive back home, and later that evening, I'm all alone, my mom has gone to work. I sit on the couch, and I hear the following. "Read Matthew Ch 5". I grab my new bible. I don't even know what a Mathew is, let alone where is Mathew Ch 5.
I look in the contents, ahh I found it. I go to the page, and as I start to read, it's as if the word come alive and jump off the page. I start to cry as I read, overcome with joy, even though I have no idea (mentally) what Jesus is really talking about.
As I obeyed this voice, I noticed it became more frequent. It also would interrupt my agenda and purposes. Especially when I was around people. It would tell me to go talk to that guy, go sit by that lady, or leave this place right now. It would tell me about people's sins, needs, and reveal secrets of their hearts, always resulting in people asking Jesus into their hearts.
So, by now, I've started to learn a little from other Christians, attending prayer meetings, bible studies, and stuff like that. I start to ponder the experience a few months ago with Mathew 5, and this voice leading me.
I say to myself. They are both "The Word of God".... Yet very different from one another. One is heard; the other is read. One can be made alive, by the one who speaks, while the other one always brings life, and amazing results, even salvation when I do what it beacons me to do. Still, I found this overwhelming to comprehend. Now I understand, but then I did not...
I came from a violent home, (drugs, alcohol, gun shots, being chased with knives, people thrown thru picture pane windows), in fact I was born three months early because my father kicked my mother in the stomach, I weighed two pounds nine ounces.
As early as 6 or 7 yrs old I was out on the streets till 3-4am, I was put in three orphanages... once my father snuck into our house, he put a loaded pistol in my hand and told me to shoot my sisters and my mother, it was crazy.
Through all of this, (which I wouldn't change), I came out a fairly normal kid, I was involved in sports and didn't do drugs, or drink. I thought I was a survivor, wanting only to make it through another day.
At age 16 (in 1974) I started to sense a need in my life, an emptiness that I couldn't explain. I knew I had to find God/Jesus, but who was HE? I had no idea where to find HIM, so I went to the local library to find books concerning world religions, God, and the occult.
At the library I met an ex-hippie (Gary Osborn) he saw my books and decided to share the message with me. Gary invited me to pray in the back of his V.W. so I did, I remember saying "God forgive me for my sins, and whatever you have for me I want it all".
At first nothing happened I expected, lightening or something. Gary said, "Just go home and praise God" I said, "What's that, mean" Gary said, "Just thank him" So I did just that.
Before I asked Jesus into my heart, I never heard voices, I never had visions, Also I never drank, and I never did drugs, but one week after meeting Jesus while in the middle of my last class (during high school) A voice, just as clear, as someone standing next to you, spoke, and the voice said, "tell them about Jesus"
I was surprised, but unafraid, I put my hand over my mouth, since I didn't want anyone to think I was talking too myself, I said (to whoever spoke to me) "I don't know what to say" the voice said "don't be afraid, I'll give you the words to say"
To this day I don't remember my words, but I spoke to those kids about Jesus and salvation, their mouths just dropped open and then, class was over, I walked out of that room, feeling like I had never felt before.
The next day was Saturday; I slept in the living room on an old couch. When I woke it was early and I decided to turn on the TV, to watch my favorite cartoon, the roadrunner.
As I sat there watching the TV, I got up and looked outside, everything was so beautiful, (I never appreciated nature, I just wanted to make it through another day). BUT now it was so pretty, I sat back down on the couch, and as I did, I was somewhere else.
I was sitting at a long-rough-hewn table, to my right, was Jesus, to my left was Satan, (he looked like a very handsome man but very big) then in front of me was the father, I couldn't see him, but knew exactly who He was. Suddenly three bowls appear, filled with what looked like porridge. Now the father spoke and said Satan dismiss yourself, Satan stood and screamed, then vanished. Three bites were taken out of the bowl.
Then all at once I was watching myself from a distance, walking with Jesus up a grassy pathway. Jesus was speaking to me but from a distance I couldn't hear him, I could see myself shaking my head (like I understand) then thru my eyes, as my normal, physical eyesight returns, I see the house where I had been sleeping, the TV was on, my favorite cartoon still playing.
I didn't know what had happened; I'd never experienced anything like that. I sat for a while pondering all of this. I say to myself, Oh I get it. This is like an initiation thing, that God does to people after they accept Jesus.
I'll go find some Christian or even a pastor, and I'll tell them what just happened, and they will explain it to me, and laugh saying "Yes same thing happened to me", there is nothing to do, and nothing to worry about.
How do I find some Christians, to talk to about this, and what pastor do I go to, we have a church on every corner. Surely it doesn't matter, they must all be the same, just a different building.
When I finally found some Christians to talk to, and told them what happened, they just looked at me with a weird expression on their faces.
Next, I decide, I must get a bible. I knew of a Christian bookstore in town.
The lady greeted me, asked if she could help. I told her I wanted a bible. She said what version. I said what do you mean, I just want a bible. She said we have NAS, KJV, AS, and others. I said what are those. Finally, she recommended a KJV.
Then she said what kind of bible do you want. I said give me the KJV, like we just discussed. She said Well we have different types. I said what do you mean different types.
She said we have Family Bibles, Study Bibles, Reference Bibles, Devotional, and Children's Bibles, all in KJV. Oh man, I was confused.
So, I said do you have a big one, one with pictures. She said, that would be a Family bible. It was huge, 18 by 12 by 5 I was so proud, I hopped on the bus, hoping everyone noticed my new bible.
I arrive back home, and later that evening, I'm all alone, my mom has gone to work. I sit on the couch, and I hear the following. "Read Matthew Ch 5". I grab my new bible. I don't even know what a Mathew is, let alone where is Mathew Ch 5.
I look in the contents, ahh I found it. I go to the page, and as I start to read, it's as if the word come alive and jump off the page. I start to cry as I read, overcome with joy, even though I have no idea (mentally) what Jesus is really talking about.
As I obeyed this voice, I noticed it became more frequent. It also would interrupt my agenda and purposes. Especially when I was around people. It would tell me to go talk to that guy, go sit by that lady, or leave this place right now. It would tell me about people's sins, needs, and reveal secrets of their hearts, always resulting in people asking Jesus into their hearts.
So, by now, I've started to learn a little from other Christians, attending prayer meetings, bible studies, and stuff like that. I start to ponder the experience a few months ago with Mathew 5, and this voice leading me.
I say to myself. They are both "The Word of God".... Yet very different from one another. One is heard; the other is read. One can be made alive, by the one who speaks, while the other one always brings life, and amazing results, even salvation when I do what it beacons me to do. Still, I found this overwhelming to comprehend. Now I understand, but then I did not...
