i dont believe God actually loves me

[lilygrace]

i find things tormenting.
i never know if im going to heaven or hell
i am ignored in the church i attend
people only talk to family members
im just evil
i am lonely. yes i have a good s upport system in sense but not off the internet. i can be grateful for what i do have
i watched people grow up and have babies
i desire my own family but im scared.... im scared of having an abuser
i like babies but im scared of them sometimes

 

[Lambano]

Hi, Lilygrace. Haven't seen you for a while.

I wish there were some way I could tell you that God DOES love you so that you would believe me.

I could pray that God would SHOW you that He loves you. That you could see yourself as valued (you are!) and not evil. I could pray that things get better for you.

All I have to offer is a prayer and a few kind words.

 

[GRACE ambassador]

op 'I don't believe God actually loves me'?

I will pray for you, since I believe God Actually Loves all of us:

1) "For God so Loved the world that He Gave His Only Begotten SON,
that whosoever believeth on Him hath Eternal Life" (John 3:16)

2) GRACE Word for our infirmities

3) Simply 'trust' in The LORD Jesus Christ! Amen.

 

[quietthinker]

i find things tormenting.
i never know if im going to heaven or hell
i am ignored in the church i attend
people only talk to family members
im just evil
i am lonely. yes i have a good s upport system in sense but not off the internet. i can be grateful for what i do have
i watched people grow up and have babies
i desire my own family but im scared.... im scared of having an abuser
i like babies but im scared of them sometimes

Thank you for your honesty lilygrace

Ahhh, the struggles! Could it be because everything including the packet of chips but no salt is delivered to the people to keep them controllable?
Debates and speeches about everything that opens and shuts are pushed to the forefront; everything except that which matters so when asked 'tell me about Jesus' folk struggle share him and are out of words in 30 seconds or less.
Of course, the fruit of no assurance is torment......it keeps the coffers full!

 

[Aunty Jane]

i find things tormenting.
i never know if im going to heaven or hell

Would it help to know that God never promised 'heaven or hell' to anyone as opposing destinations?
Tell me if you'd like to live in the place where Adam and Eve were created...?
Does living in paradise on earth, free from hatred, war, sickness and death, sound like somewhere you'd like to be? That is where God designed us to live....forever.

i am ignored in the church i attend
people only talk to family members
im just evil

Is that because you have mental health issues? Sickness is not wickedness. A very dear friend of mine suffered in the same way, but she found comfort in knowing that God was going to take mankind back to paradise, and heal them of all their sicknesses....as Jesus did.

i am lonely. yes i have a good support system in sense but not off the internet. i can be grateful for what i do have

The internet can be a very lonely place because people can be so unkind when they don't have to front up personally to say mean things to you, or about you. Its a cowards paradise.

i watched people grow up and have babies
i desire my own family but im scared.... im scared of having an abuser
i like babies but i m scared of them sometimes

Its natural to want those things and I understand completely that you are scared to become the victim of an abuser. They seek out the gentle souls so that they can control them. No one needs to be "controlled" if they are genuinely loved. This is why we need to choose a mate that cares more about us than he cares about himself. It also helps if this person is a genuine Christian who imitates Jesus in his kindness and compassion. On our part, we need to be the same....."love does not look for its own interests", Paul said.
1 Cor 4:1-8...
"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous. It does not brag, does not get puffed up, 5 does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked. It does not keep account of the injury. 6 It does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never fails."
Great advice there....

Parenthood is the most important job in the whole world, but one for which no one demands degrees at a university.
If we are to emulate our parents as role models, then they too have a great responsibility in giving us a good example.
So many have poor role models and end up making the same mistakes, never learning from others how NOT to be a parent.

Don't be so hard on yourself....God sees the plight of those who are 'crushed in spirit'....(Isa 57:15; Psalm 34:15)

 

[Gottservant]

Every little thing you do, God has a plan for.

 

[quietthinker]

Would it help to know that God never promised 'heaven or hell' to anyone as opposing destinations?
Tell me if you'd like to live in the place where Adam and Eve were created...?
Does living in paradise on earth, free from hatred, war, sickness and death, sound like somewhere you'd like to be? That is where God designed us to live....forever.

Is that because you have mental health issues? Sickness is not wickedness. A very dear friend of mine suffered in the same way, but she found comfort in knowing that God was going to take mankind back to paradise, and heal them of all their sicknesses....as Jesus did.

The internet can be a very lonely place because people can be so unkind when they don't have to front up personally to say mean things to you, or about you. Its a cowards paradise.

Its natural to want those things and I understand completely that you are scared to become the victim of an abuser. They seek out the gentle souls so that they can control them. No one needs to be "controlled" if they are genuinely loved. This is why we need to choose a mate that cares more about us than he cares about himself. It also helps if this person is a genuine Christian who imitates Jesus in his kindness and compassion. On our part, we need to be the same....."love does not look for its own interests", Paul said.
1 Cor 4:1-8...
"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous. It does not brag, does not get puffed up, 5 does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked. It does not keep account of the injury. 6 It does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never fails."
Great advice there....

Parenthood is the most important job in the whole world, but one for which no one demands degrees at a university.
If we are to emulate our parents as role models, then they too have a great responsibility in giving us a good example.
So many have poor role models and end up making the same mistakes, never learning from others how NOT to be a parent.

Don't be so hard on yourself....God sees the plight of those who are 'crushed in spirit'....(Isa 57:15; Psalm 34:15)

When people share their heart AJ, they are not asking for advice!

 

[jeffweeder]

i find things tormenting.
i never know if im going to heaven or hell
i am ignored in the church i attend
people only talk to family members
im just evil
i am lonely. yes i have a good s upport system in sense but not off the internet. i can be grateful for what i do have
i watched people grow up and have babies
i desire my own family but im scared.... im scared of having an abuser
i like babies but im scared of them sometimes

i relate to your post.
You refer to "i" a lot.
You are too focused on the i.

i no longer live but Jesus lives in me as he gives me a new life a new "i".
What this will be i do not know.

1 John 3:2
Beloved, we are [even here and] now children of God, and it is not yet made clear what we will be [after His coming]. We know that when He comes and is revealed, we will [as His children] be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is [in all His glory].

2 Corinthians 5:4
For while we are in this tent, we groan, being burdened [often weighed down, oppressed], not that we want to be unclothed [separated by death from the body], but to be clothed, so that what is mortal [the body] will be swallowed up by life [after the resurrection].

Believe in what God is doing for you even though it may not be apparent.

 

[TLHKAJ]

 

[BlueNightingale]

i find things tormenting.
i never know if im going to heaven or hell
i am ignored in the church i attend
people only talk to family members
im just evil
i am lonely. yes i have a good s upport system in sense but not off the internet. i can be grateful for what i do have
i watched people grow up and have babies
i desire my own family but im scared.... im scared of having an abuser
i like babies but im scared of them sometimes

@lilygrace
I need to tell you-

God loves you and that's all you need to know for right now. Focus on his care for you.

 

[Lambano]

My goodness, it's been a year and a half since you wrote this. @lilygrace, if you're out there, dear lady, let us know if you're okay.

 

[Kayla McCanny]

It isn't that God doesn't love you. It's that you lack self love. God loves you so much. Seek him and find Christian friends to be around if possible.

 

[Lambano]

@lilygrace, it's good to see you back. How are you doing?

 

[lilygrace]

@lilygrace, it's good to see you back. How are you doing?

im hanging in there. but sometimes i think that ill be in hell when i am gone. sorry that is negative
how areyou?

 

[TLHKAJ]

im hanging in there. but sometimes i think that ill be in hell when i am gone. sorry that is negative
how areyou?

Sis, God cannot lie. His Word says this...

Romans 10:9
“That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.”

Since you have believed and confessed, you ARE saved. It is satan's job to beat you down ...and he uses people around you to do that as well. But His Word is still true. Rest in it ...trust in Jesus' finished work on the cross. You can't be "good enough " None of your works will save you ...only Christ's work ....His righteousness in you. You're clothed in His righteousness by placing your faith in Jesus Christ.

 

[Kayla McCanny]

Romans 8:5 says while we were yet sinners Jesus died for us. Live a life of repentance, but don't beat yourself up. God's mercy is new every morning as it says in the bible and he is full of compassion.

 

[rockytopva]

Remember! You are only a sheep! All sheep are supposed to do is look to the shepherd! All they are supposed to say is Yeeeaaahhh!

 

[Lambano]

im hanging in there. but sometimes i think that ill be in hell when i am gone. sorry that is negative

If that's how you really feel, then it's best you're honest with yourself and others about it, right?

But I still think God loves you, and I'll preach that (and I'll live that) until I run out of breath.

BTW, you sound stronger now than you were three years ago.