Sex outside of marriage

[Armour of God]

I have a workmate who is only 22yo. He went to a Catholic school and today he said something like he doesn't like the teaching of not having sex outside of marriage because he wants to have sex with his girlfriend.

His been in a relationship with her for some time now and they live together.

Before he said that I was just trying to help him control his temper and told him to try and be like more like Jesus because he very easily gets angry when he makes a mistake or something. That's when he responded with the sex outside of marriage comment. I didn't respond to it instead I just kept focus on his issue with anger which he admits he has.

Tomorrow i think I'm going to say something like this to him

"It's true that Christans teach not to have sex outside of marriage. But I think your missing the main point of the teaching. The main point is to be faithful to your partner. Don't commit adultery against her. It's one of the 10 commandments. Heaps of people don't get married these days for many reasons. Main reason is that it's so expensive (he can understand that given he is young and they dont have much money). But your in a commited relationship, you live together, it's basically the same as being married. You don't really need a priest to confirm that, your commitment to each other is what matters the most. So the morale of that teaching is to be faithful to each other"

I'm hoping that will make him respect the teaching and Christianity more.

Any thoughts?

 

[TitusTwoWife]

I have a workmate who is only 22yo. He went to a Catholic school and today he said something like he doesn't like the teaching of not having sex outside of marriage because he wants to have sex with his girlfriend.

His been in a relationship with her for some time now and they live together.

Before he said that I was just trying to help him control his temper and told him to try and be like more like Jesus because he very easily gets angry when he makes a mistake or something. That's when he responded with the sex outside of marriage comment. I didn't respond to it instead I just kept focus on his issue with anger which he admits he has.

Tomorrow i think I'm going to say something like this to him

"It's true that Christans teach not to have sex outside of marriage. But I think your missing the main point of the teaching. The main point is to be faithful to your partner. Don't commit adultery against her. It's one of the 10 commandments. Heaps of people don't get married these days for many reasons. Main reason is that it's so expensive (he can understand that given he is young and they dont have much money). But your in a commited relationship, you live together, it's basically the same as being married. You don't really need a priest to confirm that, your commitment to each other is what matters the most. So the morale of that teaching is to be faithful to each other"

I'm hoping that will make him respect the teaching and Christianity more.

Any thoughts?

Why not counsel him to simply marry his girlfriend? It is better to marry than to burn with lust. Expensive weddings are a modern tradition, there's no moral ought for it. There is a moral ought for marriage, which is a commitment designed to for the protection of the girlfriend's interests and the interests of any resulting children before society.

Marriage is not just a personal preference, you are agreeing to honor vows publicly because society as a whole benefits from strong marriages.

This young couple should value pleasing God over pleasing man. They can simply have a meeting with the justice of the peace, take photos with a wedding dress and tuxedo, and invite their family and friends out to dinner. No great expense needed. If the bride really wants a fancy ceremony, she can have that later but they can avoid fornication by simply getting married first and worrying about a big fancy wedding later.

 

[Armour of God]

Why not counsel him to simply marry his girlfriend? It is better to marry than to burn with lust. Expensive weddings are a modern tradition, there's no moral ought for it. There is a moral ought for marriage, which is a commitment designed to for the protection of the girlfriend's interests and the interests of any resulting children before society.

Marriage is not just a personal preference, you are agreeing to honor vows publicly because society as a whole benefits from strong marriages.

This young couple should value pleasing God over pleasing man. They can simply have a meeting with the justice of the peace, take photos with a wedding dress and tuxedo, and invite their family and friends out to dinner. No great expense needed. If the bride really wants a fancy ceremony, she can have that later but they can avoid fornication by simply getting married first and worrying about a big fancy wedding later.

I did say they don't have much money.
Even the cheapest of weddings costs money.
And they're not serious Christians either.
Advising them to get married to please that teaching wouldn't make sense to a young couple who aren't really Christians.
That would just turn them off Christianity even more I think.

Like what would you say to him exactly?
"You really should get married to please God"
His not even sure if God is real yet so I don't see it being good advise to him

My aim isn't to tell him what to do but to make him see that Christianity has good moral teachings.

Thanks for your input anyway sister
God bless

 

[Taken]

Sex outside of marriage

Intercourse is the “agreeable” exclusive adjoining of ONE with an OTHER.

Sex is the arousal pleasure result of “Intercourse”, by ONE or more parties, “agreeable” or not.

Betrothal / Engagement is an “agreement” between TWO parties, to be Exclusively Faithful;
ONE to the Other, the OTHER to the ONE.

(The Betrothal / Engagement Timeframe
Is also a preparation timeframe…
For planning, working, building, saving, buying, otherwise establishing, land, property, HOME, for the Two To Be Domiciled…occupying a Residence Together, from henseforth.)

The Wedding, is planning, place, travel, clothing, arrangements, notifying Fathers, witnesses, guests, etc.

The Marriage, is a Ceremonial Act of the TWO Parties, Typically…
With Two Witnesses…
In their FATHERS’ Presence…
In their Fathers House…
( earthly father, God their Father, their House, their presence )…
Pledging Before their Father…(witnesses, also can have guests)…
Their Promise of exclusive Faithfulness, One to the Other.

The Wedding, is the Marriage being Accomplished, in the presence of Fathers and Witnesses.

The Betrothal, Wedding, Marriage, all are steps, processes, Promises, between a man and a woman in preparation…
FOR…
The Committing to being Helpful, in Standing Together…
FOR …
The Unknowns of the unexpected Easy, the unexpected Hard, decisions, choices…
That WILL arise during their Marriage.

It is ALL, a (Practice run, so to speak)…
For humans TO TEST themselves, their own Words, their own Promises, their own Choices in Easy times, in Hard times…
FOR…
Their OWN worthiness, strength, ability..
TO BE…Faithful to One other Human…
IN Preparation …
TO…
By Word, Promise, Commitment, (sexless), Easy times, Hard times, BE Faithfully Adjoined…
WITH / TO…
One Lord God Almighty.

@Armour of God

Your co-worker is looking for approval for sexual pleasure…Without an agreement, word, promise, before their Fathers, Father God, witnesses…
Which would be my advice…

Informal…
Words, Promises matter.
Signing documents optional,
Clergy present not necessary,
Sexual intents, not necessary to discuss,
Filing documents with State, optional.

Legality before God, is Not “always” the Same as Legality before men.

Glory to God,
Taken

 

[Armour of God]

Sex outside of marriage

Intercourse is the “agreeable” exclusive adjoining of ONE with an OTHER.

Sex is the arousal pleasure result of “Intercourse”, by ONE or more parties, “agreeable” or not.

Betrothal / Engagement is an “agreement” between TWO parties, to be Exclusively Faithful;
ONE to the Other, the OTHER to the ONE.

(The Betrothal / Engagement Timeframe
Is also a preparation timeframe…
For planning, working, building, saving, buying, otherwise establishing, land, property, HOME, for the Two To Be Domiciled…occupying a Residence Together, from henseforth.)

The Wedding, is planning, place, travel, clothing, arrangements, notifying Fathers, witnesses, guests, etc.

The Marriage, is a Ceremonial Act of the TWO Parties, Typically…
With Two Witnesses…
In their FATHERS’ Presence…
In their Fathers House…
( earthly father, God their Father, their House, their presence )…
Pledging Before their Father…(witnesses, also can have guests)…
Their Promise of exclusive Faithfulness, One to the Other.

The Wedding, is the Marriage being Accomplished, in the presence of Fathers and Witnesses.

The Betrothal, Wedding, Marriage, all are steps, processes, Promises, between a man and a woman in preparation…
FOR…
The Committing to being Helpful, in Standing Together…
FOR …
The Unknowns of the unexpected Easy, the unexpected Hard, decisions, choices…
That WILL arise during their Marriage.

It is ALL, a (Practice run, so to speak)…
For humans TO TEST themselves, their own Words, their own Promises, their own Choices in Easy times, in Hard times…
FOR…
Their OWN worthiness, strength, ability..
TO BE…Faithful to One other Human…
IN Preparation …
TO…
By Word, Promise, Commitment, (sexless), Easy times, Hard times, BE Faithfully Adjoined…
WITH / TO…
One Lord God Almighty.

@Armour of God

Your co-worker is looking for approval for sexual pleasure…Without an agreement, word, promise, before their Fathers, Father God, witnesses…
Which would be my advice…

Informal…
Words, Promises matter.
Signing documents optional,
Clergy present not necessary,
Sexual intents, not necessary to discuss,
Filing documents with State, optional.

Legality before God, is Not “always” the Same as Legality before men.

Glory to God,
Taken

Like I said to titustwowife above, my work mate doesn't really believe in God so it's not an approval that he seeks. It's a criticism of Christianity

But thanks for your input brother
God bless

 

[Taken]

Like I said to titustwowife above, my work mate doesn't really believe in God so it's not an approval that he seeks. It's a criticism of Christianity

But thanks for your input brother
God bless

Oh, didn’t see the part of his non-Belief.

The conversation, would thus lean toward…
Is his girlfriend in “agreement” with “him” regarding God?
If not, they already have an “monkey wrench” in their “relationship” of NOT on the same page…which WILL lead to a future Hard Times.
Not a secret…Intercourse leads to Offsprings, Family, Raising… with Opposition Conflicts…already present with the parents…and thus a Division between a Parent and Offspring, believing, teaching by word, behavior Opposites.
Who is the Child “suppose to Trust”?
Heavy burden on children.

If “She” IS in Agreement … then “Who” cares, and “Why” do they care what “Others / Christians” think / believe?

God gave all FREEWILL.
It is when TWO humans Agree by Promise to be Yoked together During their natural lifetime…
have the Same Beliefs to Begin with.

It’s like knowing an expectation Before A lifetime commitment …
One may say All offsprings WILL be raised with the knowledge of God…
Or
One saying They will Never denounce their American citizenship.
Or
One saying they will Never Permanently Live in a Foreign Nation.
Or
One saying they will never allow animals to live IN their Home.

Point…being…
Individuals have their Own FREEWILL Ideas, opinions, what they will tolerate or Absolutely Not…and THOSE things…Will Positively or Negatively AFFECT a Wedded Union.

Your co-worker is focused, on himself, his pleasure, without the bother of attention to long term outcome, and THEY being committed to the Same Agreement(S].

Glory to God,
Taken

 

[TitusTwoWife]

I did say they don't have much money.
Even the cheapest of weddings costs money.
And they're not serious Christians either.
Advising them to get married to please that teaching wouldn't make sense to a young couple who aren't really Christians.
That would just turn them off Christianity even more I think.

Like what would you say to him exactly?
"You really should get married to please God"
His not even sure if God is real yet so I don't see it being good advise to him

My aim isn't to tell him what to do but to make him see that Christianity has good moral teachings.

Thanks for your input anyway sister
God bless

It's better to make a really bold claim and follow up with a defense than to make a lot of wishy washy statements with no power to offend.

You only have a few options. You can try to make him see that Christianity has value by coming up with an explanation for the Christian view of sex without stepping on his toes by mentioning the moral ought of marriage.

You can give up and drop the line of conversation.

Or you can be honest and explain that the Christian view is that sex without marriage is destructive, hedonistic, and a path of brokenness. In tandem, you give them a way out, which is a very low cost marriage. It's not necessarily going to sound good but its the truth. You're not controlling him by telling the truth. He can choose to reject it and do what he wants anyway. Let his response be his response. He may surprise you.

 

[Armour of God]

Oh, didn’t see the part of his non-Belief.

The conversation, would thus lean toward…
Is his girlfriend in “agreement” with “him” regarding God?
If not, they already have an “monkey wrench” in their “relationship” of NOT on the same page…which WILL lead to a future Hard Times.
Not a secret…Intercourse leads to Offsprings, Family, Raising… with Opposition Conflicts…already present with the parents…and thus a Division between a Parent and Offspring, believing, teaching by word, behavior Opposites.
Who is the Child “suppose to Trust”?
Heavy burden on children.

If “She” IS in Agreement … then “Who” cares, and “Why” do they care what “Others / Christians” think / believe?

God gave all FREEWILL.
It is when TWO humans Agree by Promise to be Yoked together During their natural lifetime…
have the Same Beliefs to Begin with.

It’s like knowing an expectation Before A lifetime commitment …
One may say All offsprings WILL be raised with the knowledge of God…
Or
One saying They will Never denounce their American citizenship.
Or
One saying they will Never Permanently Live in a Foreign Nation.
Or
One saying they will never allow animals to live IN their Home.

Point…being…
Individuals have their Own FREEWILL Ideas, opinions, what they will tolerate or Absolutely Not…and THOSE things…Will Positively or Negatively AFFECT a Wedded Union.

Your co-worker is focused, on himself, his pleasure, without the bother of attention to long term outcome, and THEY being committed to the Same Agreement(S].

Glory to God,
Taken

It's better to make a really bold claim and follow up with a defense than to make a lot of wishy washy statements with no power to offend.

You only have a few options. You can try to make him see that Christianity has value by coming up with an explanation for the Christian view of sex without stepping on his toes by mentioning the moral ought of marriage.

You can give up and drop the line of conversation.

Or you can be honest and explain that the Christian view is that sex without marriage is destructive, hedonistic, and a path of brokenness. In tandem, you give them a way out, which is a very low cost marriage. It's not necessarily going to sound good but its the truth. You're not controlling him by telling the truth. He can choose to reject it and do what he wants anyway. Let his response be his response. He may surprise you.

I think I'll just keep my mouth shut.
He can think whatever he wants about Christianity and God.
It's none of my business anyway.
I don't want to make things awkward in the workplace.

 

[Debp]

I think I'll just keep my mouth shut.
He can think whatever he wants about Christianity and God.
It's none of my business anyway.
I don't want to make things awkward in the workplace.

That's probably best since he doesn't seem to be a born again Christian. Now if he was a Christian, I would advise him to marry his girlfriend, rather than live in sin.

Maybe in the course of working with him, you can sometimes plant seeds about having faith in Christ. So he can learn it's not about religion but about faith in Christ.

 

[Debp]

Before he said that I was just trying to help him control his temper and told him to try and be like more like Jesus because he very easily gets angry when he makes a mistake or something.

He needs to be born again and that will help him to control his anger.

He needs the fruits of the Spirit.

 

[Armour of God]

That's probably best since he doesn't seem to be a born again Christian. Now if he was a Christian, I would advise him to marry his girlfriend, rather than live in sin.

Maybe in the course of working with him, you can sometimes plant seeds about having faith in Christ. So he can learn it's not about religion but about faith in Christ.

Yea his kind of agnostic at the moment so I've planted a few seeds in the past to get him to consider intelligent design