Well I think I consider that drinking is a waste of time. I like a clean house, unless you have reason to drink, like chronic pain. I've had chronic pain before and had to be on pain meds for a couple years. And pain meds were a nightmare. The withdrawals were terrible. I finally came off the pain meds and tried alcohol for my pain problems as my pain began to become less and less over the course of a few years. It was much better and worked well as a pain medicine. No withdrawals and was much more pleasant. But now I don't have pain anymore and don't really need to drink for any reason.
I tried to give into the idea that drinking was OK if you just did a little and not too often. But I don't see it in harmony with Christianity unless you have some chronic pain problem, then it is the least of the evils. Why drink? To get high? I don't see God being OK with that. To leave the reality that God created in your mind and heart for a high. Drinking causes the loss of good judgment (at least that is what was taught me).
But I know some Christians drink, and I don't have a problem with that, as long as it doesn't lead to sinning.
I have walked in a similar path... however my pain was emotional and I turned to alcohol to self-medicate as medication was NOT working for me.. I have suffered with Chronic Depression and Dysthymia for 40 years... I am what is known as medication resistant ( meaning medication does not work for me )... Like you... as my pain became less... I no longer felt the need to drink... and I do not drink at this time... I think I have grown some in my understanding of suffering and how much God truly loves me that I believe I will in future simply take the suffering as it comes...
It is difficult being ill for months on end with no reprieve... and that is what depression is like... Sometimes it's just a mercy to escape some...
From what you have described... you have chosen as you say the lesser of two evils for the purpose of coping. I understand this.
Bless you.... It was refreshing to hear an honest heart speak.