Wanted : ..........friends to help me navigate this lonely World

[April_Rose]

Ahahaha..."dating oneself" simply means their showing their age

Ohhhh,.. okay that makes much more sense.

 

[April_Rose]

Btw, this makes me think of this skit as I sort of had a similar moment as I thought that @Hidden In Him was getting jinky with himself.

 

[April_Rose]

Hey! Randy Newman! He's pure Cajan, or at least he was until he moved out to LA and started doing movie soundtracks and stuff.

He always did funny songs, like the theme song for the TV series Monk (a favorite of mine).

Although I'm dating myself badly, this was another one if his feel good songs : )

Btw,.. I love Monk as well. It was my grandma's favorite show too. :)

 

[Hidden In Him]

Hidden,.. is there something that you want to share with us? I thought that you were married. You left your wife for yourself? Well, at least you'll save money when it comes to treating yourself to a candlelight dinner.

Trust me. If it would work, I'd try it every night. But where's the challenge?

Besides, it might get a little embarrassing if we made each other too hot and frisky.

 

[April_Rose]

Trust me. If it would work, I'd try it every night. But where's the challenge?

Besides, it might get a little embarrassing if we made each other too hot and frisky.

Oh Hidden,.. you animal. ;)

 

[Mayflower]

And, you forgot? You already have a hubby?

I didnt think he was looking for a date on this. Lol. But I am lost in that sort of thing.

Im married to a country man saint, who hates my cat mostly. LOL. I don't have too many guy friends or pm without at least a three way line. I am not rockable, Catholic, and am horrible with British humour. I have to think about hard to understand sarcasm.

 

[quietthinker]

Friend needed
Must love my kind of music
Rockabilly
Must love my kind of Christianity
Catholicism.
Must love my kind of humour
British.
Must love dogs
Not cats

lol...you mustn't be toooooo desperate then :) .... but anyway, if you can handle a straight shooter, I can introduce you to the firing range :)

 

[saintiaint]

Oh I forgot to add...
Must have exactly the same worldview as me
Must look up to me in awe quite often
Must like Ricky Gervais except his anti Christian views

 

[quietthinker]

feel for you @saintiaint. Your post makes me think of “I had many things to write, but I will not with ink and pen write unto thee: [14] But I trust I shall shortly see thee, and we shall speak face to face. Peace be to thee. Our friends salute thee. Greet the friends by name.” 3 John 1:13-14

Greet the friends by name
With “He calleth them by name...”
And also the song “what a friend we have in Jesus.”

I can relate to your loneliness as I’ve felt it extremely to where my heart and bones actually hurt. torn. So I’m probably the last person to give you advice on friendships. can share with you two things God has taught me. on my husbands side of the family (they are a big family); I’ve never opened up to any of them while at the same time blaming them for never accepting me. Blaming them because I’m always on the outside. There are teenage boys, tall, hip, and they have always intimidated me beyond no end. Somewhere a long the way I pushed everyone away. One of the boys came up to stand near the other day and acted odd...like he had something to say. Then he didn’t say it, but instead went to walk away. I spoke up and said “come here” and I hugged him. I felt stupid and insecure and never expected what he said next. he pointed out that we hadn’t hugged since he was little and called me by name “aunt Vickie.” You had to be there ...but my insecurities had planted things in my mind that wasn’t true and here was this young man who had noticed our lack of connection and remembered it. As if it had mattered to him more than I ever thought. After, he continued to call me “aunt” when he never had before.

Another lesson God taught me is being ashamed of where I come from and who I am. In thirty years of being married I’ve never offered or invited my husbands family over to my family. Afraid or ashamed for them to see where I come from or how I was raised. God has helped me get over that too and I’m ready to open doors and say “this is me. Come in. Know me.” No lies. No covering up my history. But letting people either accept me for who I really am, or choose not too. it has made a difference. Not blaming others but taking the steps while not at the same time shoving everyone away.

I’ll be your friend. Although on here it is hard because this isn’t real contact day to day, face to face.

Good on you ViJ....you're refreshed attitude warms my heart and now I know you won't hold it against me if I call you aunt Vicki...

 

[saintiaint]

Friend needed
Sadly I don't think I meet enough of your requirements.
Must love my kind of music, Rockabilly
I like rock and I like country but don't know about rockabilly.
Must love my kind of Christianity, Catholicism.
No, definitely don't meet that one as my sort of Christianity is house church based.
Must love my kind of humour, British.
Now being a fellow Brit, that I do like.
Must love dogs
Yep.
Not cats
I do like cats, so like I said I'm afraid I only meet two out of three of your friendship requirements. Sorry.

Hey we are not a perfect match but I feel optimistic about your eternal future. Thanks

 

[saintiaint]

I can relate to your loneliness as I’ve felt it extremely to where my heart and bones actually hurt. torn. So I’m probably the last person to give you advice on friendships. can share with you two things God has taught me. on my husbands side of the family (they are a big family); I’ve never opened up to any of them while at the same time blaming them for never accepting me. Blaming them because I’m always on the outside

Thanks for your warm post. I am sorry you had to suffer like that. Loneliness can really affect our mental state cheers.

 

[quietthinker]

Btw, this makes me think of this skit as I sort of had a similar moment as I thought that @Hidden In Him was getting jinky with himself.

I must say, that skit is funny!

 

[DuckieLady]

I didnt think he was looking for a date on this. Lol. But I am lost in that sort of thing.

Im married to a country man saint, who hates my cat mostly. LOL. I don't have too many guy friends or pm without at least a three way line. I am not rockable, Catholic, and am horrible with British humour. I have to think about hard to understand sarcasm.

The group thing definitely adds to a feeling of security. I had a trio once, good online friends for 14 years, but every time he messaged me privately I got uncomfortable, he got weird, and left me feeling like.. ...Yeah, this is weird. Too many questions with bad motives. I answered too often. I learned overtime I don't have to answer. I used to. I felt obligated to. Distanced myself slowly from both for Psalm 1 reasons and prayed for new online friends. Praise the Lord! God sent a Christian trio and there isn't anything weird about it! LOL

I still talk to her alone from time to time though.

I bet you will finds lots of friends here, @saintiaint :) I like your poem.

 

[saintiaint]

bet you will finds lots of friends here, @saintiaint :) I like your poem.

Except for ...mmm..ok...moving on ... ...thanks anyway...
Yes I wanted to explore the theme of friendship. How we sometimes have too strict a criteria. And other things.
I tend to make friends of a similar personality type. Shyness, social anxiety... People who struggle making friends. I usually don't have extroverted friends. I respect extroverts because they take an interest in other people. But I am usually drawn to the more socially awkward. Empathy perhaps.
So shy people can be found in all groups, including atheists. Shy Catholics are just as shy as shy Mormons or Calvinists...imo.

 

[DuckieLady]

Except for ...mmm..ok...moving on ... ...thanks anyway...
Yes I wanted to explore the theme of friendship. How we sometimes have too strict a criteria. And other things.
I tend to make friends of a similar personality type. Shyness, social anxiety... People who struggle making friends. I usually don't have extroverted friends. I respect extroverts because they take an interest in other people. But I am usually drawn to the more socially awkward. Empathy perhaps.
So shy people can be found in all groups, including atheists. Shy Catholics are just as shy as shy Mormons or Calvinists...imo.

I'm a very shy person myself in person, but with the right people I come out of my shell pretty easily, as long as I feel comfortable and not under a microscope. I have always had good friendships with extroverts. With people that I had an instant connection with and knew they would be it, we've always been life long friends. Quality over quantity.

Best friend, though we grew apart due to distance/I quit Facebook, but she was sitting at a gazebo by herself and I yelled "HEY WHAT'S UP" (out of character for me) and sat down and started talking to her. She seemed shocked, but we were best friends for 10+ years. Threw a couple other girls in our mix. I was usually the host with tea sandwiches/lots of beer. (Pre-Christian, of course.)

Shy people tend to be shy around strangers but can get pretty chatty when they're comfortable. I think sometimes we're drawn to "socially awkward" people not always out of empathy, but because sometimes we have an eye for the positive, beautiful and hidden qualities that other people are missing.

 

[saintiaint]

think sometimes we're drawn to "socially awkward" people not always out of empathy, but because sometimes we have an eye for the positive, beautiful and hidden qualities that other people are missing.

Yes fair enough. But I also avoid talkaholics. Which some extroverts tend to be. Mind you introverts can be talkaholics too .
It's a real gift to be interested in others. I tend to fail in this area. But some improvement noted.

 

[DuckieLady]

Yes fair enough. But I also avoid talkaholics. Which some extroverts tend to be. Mind you introverts can be talkaholics too .
It's a real gift to be interested in others. I tend to fail in this area. But some improvement noted.

I think I always had good relationships with extroverts because they tend to take over so things just flow. I hate leading the conversation. I despise it. There needs to be two people in the conversation or I feel put in a position to come up with things and if I'm really desperate to know that person, I come up with stupid things. It's been a good, fun balance in my experience.

Otherwise I feel like that person is forcing me to pull up the roots in the back of my subconscious of things I don't care about and all of it sounds dumb, that's why it's stored so far back there.

 

[Pearl]

And, you forgot? You already have a hubby?

I have, but he was asking for a friend. You can never have too many of those. :)

 

[Pearl]

Must like Ricky Gervais except his anti Christian views

I never have liked him so . . . .
Anyway my requirements for a friend are those that God gives me irrespective of their backgrounds, likes and dislikes.

My husband prayed that God would give him a Muslim friend and he did. He was called Faisal and couldn't speak English except for the word 'friend' which he used to greet us with.

 

[saintiaint]

I think I always had good relationships with extroverts because they tend to take over so things just flow. I hate leading the conversation. I despise it. There needs to be two people in the conversation or I feel put in a position to come up with things and if I'm really desperate to know that person, I come up with stupid things. It's been a good, fun balance in my experience.

Otherwise I feel like that person is forcing me to pull up the roots in the back of my subconscious of things I don't care about and all of it sounds dumb, that's why it's stored so far back there.

There is also the online versus offline persona to consider. I say this because you come across as quite confident and extoverted now on this forum. Are you different face to face?
I can't believe you don't have confidence to lead a conversation. Are you kidding? :)