Bible....Hawaiian style
I love Jordan's translation of Matthew 26:12:
Then Jesus shouted at him, “Put that switchblade back in your pocket! People who use violence are destroyed by it. Or are you thinking that I can’t call on my Father and get him to instantly send me more than a dozen battalions of angels? But then, how would the writings that it must turn out this way have any meaning?”
Dey Make Plan Fo Kill Jesus
26 Afta Jesus pau teach all dis stuff, he tell his guys, 2 “You guys know dis awready -- get ony two days till da Passova time. I da Guy Who Fo Real, but wen da Passova time come, dey goin set me up fo kill me on top one cross.”3 Dat time, da main priest guys an da older leadas fo da peopo wen come togedda inside da Head Priest guy palace. Kaiafas, he da Head Priest dat time. 4 Dey say, “How we goin trick Jesus so we can bus um? Den we can kill um.” 5 Dey say, “We no can do um wen get da Passova time, cuz bumbye da peopo goin make big noise an fight.”
One Wahine Put Perfume On Top Jesus Head
6 Jesus was Simonʼs house, inside Betany town. Simon, he was one lepa guy befo time. 7 Wen Jesus stay eating ova dea, had one wahine dat wen bring one fancy bottle made from alabaster rock. Inside had da kine fancy perfume dat cost plenny. She wen put da perfume on top his head wen he was eating. 8 Jesus guys wen see dat, an dey wen come all huhu. Dey say, “How come she throw way her money lidat? 9 How come she neva sell dat perfume fo plenny money, an give um to da peopo dat no mo notting?”10 Wen Jesus wen know wat dey saying, he tell um, “How come you guys give dis wahine hard time? Eh! No bodda her! She wen do dis fo me wit plenny aloha. 11 Everytime goin get poor peopo stay wit you guys, but I no goin stay wit you guys everytime, you know. 12 Wen she wen put dis perfume on top me, dis wen make me ready fo wen dey goin bury me. 13 Dass right! An I like tell you guys dis too: weaevas my guys goin teach da Good Kine Stuff Bout Me, all ova da whole world, dey goin tell wat dis wahine wen do, an da peopo goin rememba her.”
