Adultery and Divorce

[Taken]

My husband has had multiple affairs with multiple married women. I left him and have an appointment with lawyer for divorce. He does not want a divorce and insists that I am going against God. He also denies the affairs. All of which I have proof of. It’s a case of serial lies, manipulation and adultery along with mental, emotional and spiritual abuse. He has claimed to be a righteous man of God since day one. He says I can not biblically justify the divorce. My question to anyone who can give me a biblically based answer based on the information I gave you is “Does God rather us remain married to a spouse that has had affairs and continues to have affairs with no confession, accountability and that continuously lies and manipulates using the word of God?

In Hebrew days, men following Gods Word, and being call Mosaic Law, later generally called Jewish Law......

A DIVORCE was “actually what we today would call” the breaking off the Promise of “engagement”.

An “engagement/betrothal” in ancient days was a “PROMISE” (contract of sorts) TO marry. They were treated as ALREADY married....yet rarely saw or never saw one another until the day of the WEDDING.

Each had an expectation to remain virgin and FAITHFUL to one another.
For one FAILING to be FAITHFUL, a DIVORCE was allowed.

The Historical MARRIAGE stipulation ... was ONE man and ONE woman.
One man routinely...married One woman.
And the same ONE man, kept his One Wife....AND he, ONE man...would ALSO marry Another ONE woman....and perhaps REPEAT the scenario over and over.

Today, Many nations OUTLAW, for ONE man to HAVE multiple wives.

Today, Many nations LAWFULLY ALLOW, One man or One woman WHO ARE WED, to lawfully issues a Bill of Divorce to the OTHER to dissolve the Marrage.
Infidelity, cruel treatment, battery, (and modernly, having differences of Opinions)...are typical GROUNDS for issuing one to the other....A bill of divorcement.

Catholics are ONE SECT of Christianity, who fiddle with words, under a pretense, of what the Church calls an ANNULMENT, as if the Church is BLIND to a marriage having occurred, and thereafter the couple can obtain a CIVIL governing Lawful DIVORCE.

You are struggling with a repetitive denying cheating husband and your heart love of the Lord TO DO as He would want you to do.

My suggestion would be:
Personally...
You first must DECIDE IF you LOVE your husband...IF you ARE Willing to Forgive Him...IF you DESIRE to remain WITH your husband.
Thereafter...
To have a SERIOUS and CALM discussion with your husband.
Tell him you love him, tell him you are willing to forgive him, tell him you desire to remain with a FAITHFUL husband. (If that be YOUR decision).

The thing is:
People DO trespass one against the other.
It is primarily BECAUSE people DO NOT KNOW ALL THINGS.
(Accidents, oops, are trespasses against others)
To PLOT, and SNEAK, with INTENT to trespass against ANOTHER...
...IS Wicked and Evil intent.

You can suppose your husband “cheated”, without “plotting”, but rather was in circumstances that lead to cheating.........OR perhaps he DID “plot”, made arrangements to sneak away to engage with another woman....
Only you know WHAT facts you have “regarding” those scenarios.
IF he “plotted”...his act WAS a wicked, evil Trespass AGAINST YOU.

Don’t be shy to identify his PLOT and wicked, evil Trespass AGAINST YOU.
AND don’t be shy to over-ride his “claims of being a “godly man”...WITH true knowledge of his....INTENDED wicked, evil, Trespassing AGAINST YOU.
You know....and Yes, so also does God know...
He continuing to DENY....IS him LYING both to YOU and God.

It’s a matter of accountability. He is using Gods Name as his defense.
IF “your evidence” be true....(having a calm discussion)....remove his trickery of using Gods Name...as his defense.

The matter is not ABOUT every woman, every detail.
The matter is ABOUT...his wicked and evil INTENT (planned Plot) to TRESPASS against YOU.

You can decide, upfront TO ONE TIME, forgive him for his PLOTTING of INTENDED wicked and evil TRESPASSES AGAINST YOU....(and SAY those words)....
AND MAKE CLEAR, (IF HE AGREES), TO NO MORE plot and carry out wicked and evil Trespasses Against you...You will remain WITH him....
(IF HE FAILS to keep his word).....without further discussion or notice from you... .......(when he is not there, gather your possessions, gather your EVIDENCE, leave, go to a safe place he knows not....and let a civil authority NOTIFY Him.)

Scripturally...mankind is in a trial period, practicing HOW TO, give their WORD and STICK to THEIR WORD.
Men routinely use their own WORD, and say yes, yes Lord we agree with you....and THEN DO NOT DO as they agreed they would.

During the “trial period” (so to speak)....WHEN men say to the Lord, yes, yes, we agree and will do as you say............AND THEY DO.....WHAT HAPPENS?
The Lord will BE WITH that man.

AND...WHAT HAPPENS when a man says to the Lord, yes, yes, we agree and will do as you say...........AND THEY DO NOT?
The Lord will LEAVE that man.

The Hebrews/Tribes/Jews......AGREED to DO as God SAID...AND we have a whole history book (Scripture and Secular History)...
OF God WITH the (Hebrews /Tribes)....WHEN they were Faithful to their word.
OF God WITHOUT the (Hebrews/Tribes)....WHEN they KEPT NOT their word.

Remember Moses going up to Gods mountain, having a conversation with God. God using Moses as Gods mouthpiece to the People?
Remember the People agreeing?

Ex 19:
[8] And all the people answered together, and said, All that the LORD hath spoken we will do. And Moses returned the words of the people unto the LORD.

Remember thereafter...how many times the People did not follow through and keep their word? 40 years wandering in the wilderness...400 years of bondage....and God without them?

Expressing for you to have a calm and to the point conversation with your husband....If he agrees TO NOT PLOT INTENDED Wicked and Evil Trespasses Against you....your choice to allow the TRIAL to see if his word be True....
Notify him THEN during your conversation.....THAT should He FAIL....WITHOUT further warning or notice you will exercise YOUR God given RIGHT to seek a life of peace and harmony.

Only you can decide IF God wants you to LIVE in peace and harmony OR LIVE a life with continual wicked and evil Trespasses Against you.

God Bless,
Taken

 

[-Phil]

My husband has had multiple affairs with multiple married women. I left him and have an appointment with lawyer for divorce. He does not want a divorce and insists that I am going against God.

That is sometimes referred to gas lighting. It’s a most manipulative means wherein one is convinced reality is other than it is.

He also denies the affairs. All of which I have proof of. It’s a case of serial lies, manipulation and adultery along with mental, emotional and spiritual abuse. He has claimed to be a righteous man of God since day one. He says I can not biblically justify the divorce.

If you’re buying what he’s selling so to speak, you’re ‘gas lit’.
No longer allow yourself to be mentally, emotionally or spiritually abused.
Isn’t that what this is about?
Is it really about his beliefs?

My question to anyone who can give me a biblically based answer based on the information I gave you is “Does God rather us remain married to a spouse that has had affairs and continues to have affairs with no confession, accountability and that continuously lies and manipulates using the word of God?

God is infinite & unconditional. God doesn’t “rather us”, at all.

Don’t underestimate just how ‘deep’ as it were this manipulation & gas lighting is. It is common that one need be away from all of this for weeks or months to begin to see clearly.

 

[Jim B]

Why divorce? Just leave. Remarry? I don't see remarrying as being ok in the NT if both are still living.

Christians are not under law; we're under grace. And we are living in the 21st Century.

 

[Mantis]

Any “partner” that cheats on you is not worthy of you. That is the most cruel thing you can do to someone who loves you.

 

[-Phil]

@PerfectlyImperfect

You know what Jesus meant by not coming to keep the peace, but with the sword which separates all from each other…right?

If not, it might be very relevant, reassuring, eye opening and maybe even life changing at this difficult time.

 

[Ronald Nolette]

My husband has had multiple affairs with multiple married women. I left him and have an appointment with lawyer for divorce. He does not want a divorce and insists that I am going against God. He also denies the affairs. All of which I have proof of. It’s a case of serial lies, manipulation and adultery along with mental, emotional and spiritual abuse. He has claimed to be a righteous man of God since day one. He says I can not biblically justify the divorce. My question to anyone who can give me a biblically based answer based on the information I gave you is “Does God rather us remain married to a spouse that has had affairs and continues to have affairs with no confession, accountability and that continuously lies and manipulates using the word of God?

1. God hates divorce
2. Reconciliation is always Gods first solution.
3. The offending partner must acknowledge their sin and seek real change.
4. Broken trust is extremely hard to repair.
5. Divorce was granted because people's hearts are hard.
6. Your husband broke the marriage covenant. Jesus clearly showed that in the case of multiple adultery, the offended spouse is free and can even remarry.
7. Pray and do what you truly believe God is calling you to do in this.

 

[Rockerduck]

A Christian man does not cheat on his wife. Period, if he is weak and does it once. The conviction of the Holy Spirit will bring him to the point of desperation on his knees pleading for forgiveness from his wife and Jesus, mostly pleading with Jesus. The pain he has caused will permanently scar him. He would never do it again because of the fear of the Lord.

 

[PerfectlyImperfect]

Very well

In Hebrew days, men following Gods Word, and being call Mosaic Law, later generally called Jewish Law......

A DIVORCE was “actually what we today would call” the breaking off the Promise of “engagement”.

An “engagement/betrothal” in ancient days was a “PROMISE” (contract of sorts) TO marry. They were treated as ALREADY married....yet rarely saw or never saw one another until the day of the WEDDING.

Each had an expectation to remain virgin and FAITHFUL to one another.
For one FAILING to be FAITHFUL, a DIVORCE was allowed.

The Historical MARRIAGE stipulation ... was ONE man and ONE woman.
One man routinely...married One woman.
And the same ONE man, kept his One Wife....AND he, ONE man...would ALSO marry Another ONE woman....and perhaps REPEAT the scenario over and over.

Today, Many nations OUTLAW, for ONE man to HAVE multiple wives.

Today, Many nations LAWFULLY ALLOW, One man or One woman WHO ARE WED, to lawfully issues a Bill of Divorce to the OTHER to dissolve the Marrage.
Infidelity, cruel treatment, battery, (and modernly, having differences of Opinions)...are typical GROUNDS for issuing one to the other....A bill of divorcement.

Catholics are ONE SECT of Christianity, who fiddle with words, under a pretense, of what the Church calls an ANNULMENT, as if the Church is BLIND to a marriage having occurred, and thereafter the couple can obtain a CIVIL governing Lawful DIVORCE.

You are struggling with a repetitive denying cheating husband and your heart love of the Lord TO DO as He would want you to do.

My suggestion would be:
Personally...
You first must DECIDE IF you LOVE your husband...IF you ARE Willing to Forgive Him...IF you DESIRE to remain WITH your husband.
Thereafter...
To have a SERIOUS and CALM discussion with your husband.
Tell him you love him, tell him you are willing to forgive him, tell him you desire to remain with a FAITHFUL husband. (If that be YOUR decision).

The thing is:
People DO trespass one against the other.
It is primarily BECAUSE people DO NOT KNOW ALL THINGS.
(Accidents, oops, are trespasses against others)
To PLOT, and SNEAK, with INTENT to trespass against ANOTHER...
...IS Wicked and Evil intent.

You can suppose your husband “cheated”, without “plotting”, but rather was in circumstances that lead to cheating.........OR perhaps he DID “plot”, made arrangements to sneak away to engage with another woman....
Only you know WHAT facts you have “regarding” those scenarios.
IF he “plotted”...his act WAS a wicked, evil Trespass AGAINST YOU.

Don’t be shy to identify his PLOT and wicked, evil Trespass AGAINST YOU.
AND don’t be shy to over-ride his “claims of being a “godly man”...WITH true knowledge of his....INTENDED wicked, evil, Trespassing AGAINST YOU.
You know....and Yes, so also does God know...
He continuing to DENY....IS him LYING both to YOU and God.

It’s a matter of accountability. He is using Gods Name as his defense.
IF “your evidence” be true....(having a calm discussion)....remove his trickery of using Gods Name...as his defense.

The matter is not ABOUT every woman, every detail.
The matter is ABOUT...his wicked and evil INTENT (planned Plot) to TRESPASS against YOU.

You can decide, upfront TO ONE TIME, forgive him for his PLOTTING of INTENDED wicked and evil TRESPASSES AGAINST YOU....(and SAY those words)....
AND MAKE CLEAR, (IF HE AGREES), TO NO MORE plot and carry out wicked and evil Trespasses Against you...You will remain WITH him....
(IF HE FAILS to keep his word).....without further discussion or notice from you... .......(when he is not there, gather your possessions, gather your EVIDENCE, leave, go to a safe place he knows not....and let a civil authority NOTIFY Him.)

Scripturally...mankind is in a trial period, practicing HOW TO, give their WORD and STICK to THEIR WORD.
Men routinely use their own WORD, and say yes, yes Lord we agree with you....and THEN DO NOT DO as they agreed they would.

During the “trial period” (so to speak)....WHEN men say to the Lord, yes, yes, we agree and will do as you say............AND THEY DO.....WHAT HAPPENS?
The Lord will BE WITH that man.

AND...WHAT HAPPENS when a man says to the Lord, yes, yes, we agree and will do as you say...........AND THEY DO NOT?
The Lord will LEAVE that man.

The Hebrews/Tribes/Jews......AGREED to DO as God SAID...AND we have a whole history book (Scripture and Secular History)...
OF God WITH the (Hebrews /Tribes)....WHEN they were Faithful to their word.
OF God WITHOUT the (Hebrews/Tribes)....WHEN they KEPT NOT their word.

Remember Moses going up to Gods mountain, having a conversation with God. God using Moses as Gods mouthpiece to the People?
Remember the People agreeing?

Ex 19:
[8] And all the people answered together, and said, All that the LORD hath spoken we will do. And Moses returned the words of the people unto the LORD.

Remember thereafter...how many times the People did not follow through and keep their word? 40 years wandering in the wilderness...400 years of bondage....and God without them?

Expressing for you to have a calm and to the point conversation with your husband....If he agrees TO NOT PLOT INTENDED Wicked and Evil Trespasses Against you....your choice to allow the TRIAL to see if his word be True....
Notify him THEN during your conversation.....THAT should He FAIL....WITHOUT further warning or notice you will exercise YOUR God given RIGHT to seek a life of peace and harmony.

Only you can decide IF God wants you to LIVE in peace and harmony OR LIVE a life with continual wicked and evil Trespasses Against you.

God Bless,
Taken

said. Thank you so very much

 

[PerfectlyImperfect]

1. God hates divorce
2. Reconciliation is always Gods first solution.
3. The offending partner must acknowledge their sin and seek real change.
4. Broken trust is extremely hard to repair.
5. Divorce was granted because people's hearts are hard.
6. Your husband broke the marriage covenant. Jesus clearly showed that in the case of multiple adultery, the offended spouse is free and can even remarry.
7. Pray and do what you truly believe God is calling you to do in this.

I appreciate your response. Thank you so much

 

[PerfectlyImperfect]

A Christian man does not cheat on his wife. Period, if he is weak and does it once. The conviction of the Holy Spirit will bring him to the point of desperation on his knees pleading for forgiveness from his wife and Jesus, mostly pleading with Jesus. The pain he has caused will permanently scar him. He would never do it again because of the fear of the Lord.

 

[PerfectlyImperfect]

He has done it his entire adult life. While he claims to be a changed man, godly man and that had has changed him…he is on multiple dating sites such as tinder etc.

 

[PerfectlyImperfect]

@PerfectlyImperfect

You know what Jesus meant by not coming to keep the peace, but with the sword which separates all from each other…right?

If not, it might be very relevant, reassuring, eye opening and maybe even life changing at this difficult time.

 

[PerfectlyImperfect]

Explain, please and thank you.

 

[Taken]

Very well

said. Thank you so very much

U R Welcome. We are all in a trial period between and among humans...
Of giving our WORD and sticking to what we SAY, all in Preparation for the day an Individual gives his Word to God....it’s permanent....it is taught to know it’s permanent....it’s taught to BE SURE....AND it’s taught to LIE and Deceive God...is oops forever separation from God.
...

2 Pet 1:
[10] Wherefore the rather, brethren, give diligence to make your calling and election sure: for if ye do these things, ye shall never fall:

Matt 12:
[32] And whosoever speaketh a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but whosoever speaketh against the Holy Ghost, it shall not be forgiven him, neither in this world, neither in the world to come.

God Bless,
Prayers for you.
Taken

 

[-Phil]

Explain, please and thank you.

The truth & true nature of the fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, etc, is overlooked, as it’s attributed to coming from another, or being some thing between each other. Jesus aimed to sever all those relationships, that one might realized the truth of oneself.

 

[Bob Estey]

My husband has had multiple affairs with multiple married women. I left him and have an appointment with lawyer for divorce. He does not want a divorce and insists that I am going against God. He also denies the affairs. All of which I have proof of. It’s a case of serial lies, manipulation and adultery along with mental, emotional and spiritual abuse. He has claimed to be a righteous man of God since day one. He says I can not biblically justify the divorce. My question to anyone who can give me a biblically based answer based on the information I gave you is “Does God rather us remain married to a spouse that has had affairs and continues to have affairs with no confession, accountability and that continuously lies and manipulates using the word of God?

"And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another, commits adultery." Matthew 19: RSV

 

[-Phil]

God wouldn’t, isn’t, and couldn’t judge.
God wouldn’t even know what judgement is.

 

[Bible_Patrol]

My husband has had multiple affairs with multiple married women. I left him and have an appointment with lawyer for divorce. He does not want a divorce and insists that I am going against God. He also denies the affairs. All of which I have proof of. It’s a case of serial lies, manipulation and adultery along with mental, emotional and spiritual abuse. He has claimed to be a righteous man of God since day one. He says I can not biblically justify the divorce. My question to anyone who can give me a biblically based answer based on the information I gave you is “Does God rather us remain married to a spouse that has had affairs and continues to have affairs with no confession, accountability and that continuously lies and manipulates using the word of God?

Greetings in the name of Jesus Christ. It is verily an unfortunate situation that you are living in. Of a truth, it is written: Let not the wife depart from her husband: but and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband. For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man. Amen.

 

[-Phil]

The evidence you are the creator, and therein can experience what you want to experience, is that you wanted to marry him, and focused on that experience, and it was so. Now you are knowing you want something else, and you can focus on that, and that will effortlessly be as well. All beliefs to the contrary which might arise are felt as discordant, reaffirming the truth of what’s being said. If what is wanted is the limitation of inherent freedom, to hold beliefs, that shall be as well, as the creator.

 

[Rockerduck]

Hello Bible_Patrol,
Jesus Clearly says, Matthew 19:9 - And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife(or husband), except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”

Matthew 5:32 - Youngs Literal Translation: but I -- I say to you, that whoever may put away his wife(or husband), save for the matter of whoredom, doth make her(or him) to commit adultery; and whoever may marry her( or him) who hath been put away doth commit adultery.

Jesus is against sexual misconduct within a marriage and cements that by giving that exception.

A Christian man never cheats in his Christian marriage, so a man that does this is worldly, in sin, a spiritually dead man walking.