All Alone Again

[JimAndJackie]

Hi Everybody. This is Jim. It's very sad, but after a little over a year of rock solid friendship, Jackie and I agreed to end our friendship and go different ways. I realize that it's late at night and I probably won't hear from anybody, but my heart hurts and I'm very very sad. Please pray for me as this is a really difficult time for me. Thank you.

 

[Keturah]

Welcome:
Praying for your comfort in Christ. He is truly that friend that sticks closer than a brother...mother......father........child or lover, ect.

Lift up your heart & let the SONshine fill it with love, comfort, joy & peace !

 

[Patrick1966]

Hi Everybody. This is Jim. It's very sad, but after a little over a year of rock solid friendship, Jackie and I agreed to end our friendship and go different ways. I realize that it's late at night and I probably won't hear from anybody, but my heart hurts and I'm very very sad. Please pray for me as this is a really difficult time for me. Thank you.

It's really hard to find others with whom to share our lives, particularly as we get older. I feel for you. May God bless both you and Jackie.

 

[Pearl]

Hi Everybody. This is Jim. It's very sad, but after a little over a year of rock solid friendship, Jackie and I agreed to end our friendship and go different ways. I realize that it's late at night and I probably won't hear from anybody, but my heart hurts and I'm very very sad. Please pray for me as this is a really difficult time for me. Thank you.

That's sad and i feel your pain, but I don't understand why a 'rock solid friendship' has to end.

 

[JimAndJackie]

That's sad and i feel your pain, but I don't understand why a 'rock solid friendship' has to end.

There were some issues with me wanting to move to Iowa and that started a whirlwind of problems about me "abandoning" our friendship.

 

[Ronald David Bruno]

There were some issues with me wanting to move to Iowa and that started a whirlwind of problems about me "abandoning" our friendship.

Were you a serious couple, with intentions to be married or just friends?

All I can say is that when you move out of state, it weakens relationships and sometimes they just dwindle. "Out of sight out of mind."
We frequently spend time with friends and family when we are nearby. That's really all we can give to someone, our time. We break bread together, enjoy experiences, recreational or whatever ... but when you leave, it stops abruptly. You cut the family cord and/ friendship cord. Your support system is now just an occasional call on the phone, a visit once a year ... the relationship changes.

I moved away from my family and friends from CT to CA. when I was 20 years old. I didn't lose my family, I just missed out on sharing a lot more time with them. I missed many weddings, funerals, holidays. They are still my family but you cannot be close if you are distant. You cannot depend on them, nor can they depend on you at a moment's notice. You can't just drop by or meet for lunch tomorrow. You can't call Billy up and shoot some hoops later on in the day.
I chose California over them. It was a selfish endeavor at the time and a sacrifice (loss), that I didn't realize until years later. I didn't lose my family, just hundreds of memories and closeness. I lost a best friend. You can't be best friends 3000 miles away. At best, we talked a couple times a year.
Some people do not want to leave their families, their town, friends and church. They grew up and have found contentment and comfort there. Their roots are planted. I was young, not a Christian at the time and selfish. The beach, the weather and even job opportunities in my field were great, but it didn't replace sharing time with loved ones. I just had one girl ... and then another and then another, finally married, had a kid and realized that my kid would grow up without my loving family around.

This is a transient world now isn't it. A century ago families stayed close. Now they spread their wings and start a new life _ apart. You are separated.
So it does feel like you are abandoning them for a new life, job or change of scenery. Why? Because you think the grass must be greener on the other side. It isn't.

 

[JimAndJackie]

Were you a serious couple, with intentions to be married or just friends?

All I can say is that when you move out of state, it weakens relationships and sometimes they just dwindle. "Out of sight out of mind."
We frequently spend time with friends and family when we are nearby. That's really all we can give to someone, our time. We break bread together, enjoy experiences, recreational or whatever ... but when you leave, it stops abruptly. You cut the family cord and/ friendship cord. Your support system is now just an occasional call on the phone, a visit once a year ... the relationship changes.

I moved away from my family and friends from CT to CA. when I was 20 years old. I didn't lose my family, I just missed out on sharing a lot more time with them. I missed many weddings, funerals, holidays. They are still my family but you cannot be close if you are distant. You cannot depend on them, nor can they depend on you at a moment's notice. You can't just drop by or meet for lunch tomorrow. You can't call Billy up and shoot some hoops later on in the day.
I chose California over them. It was a selfish endeavor at the time and a sacrifice (loss), that I didn't realize until years later. I didn't lose my family, just hundreds of memories and closeness. I lost a best friend. You can't be best friends 3000 miles away. At best, we talked a couple times a year.
Some people do not want to leave their families, their town, friends and church. They grew up and have found contentment and comfort there. Their roots are planted. I was young, not a Christian at the time and selfish. The beach, the weather and even job opportunities in my field were great, but it didn't replace sharing time with loved ones. I just had one girl ... and then another and then another, finally married, had a kid and realized that my kid would grow up without my loving family around.

This is a transient world now isn't it. A century ago families stayed close. Now they spread their wings and start a new life _ apart. You are separated.
So it does feel like you are abandoning them for a new life, job or change of scenery. Why? Because you think the grass must be greener on the other side. It isn't.

Honestly, we were just really good friends. But we were so close that most people thought we were a couple. I did just receive a text from her saying that she's just hurt and needs some time to think things over. It's in God's hands now.

 

[Mr E]

There were some issues with me wanting to move to Iowa and that started a whirlwind of problems about me "abandoning" our friendship.

Back in February, Jackie wrote:

I still live in Menasha, while Jim has moved to Appleton, but we're both dreaming of the day when we can get out of the "city" and make our home in the country...maybe northwest Iowa.

That's likely what makes it hard to accept. It seems like a shared dream is no longer shared. I wish you the best and hope you can talk through it (in private) and not use your shared profile here as some kind of weird mechanism to communicate to each other. (because that's weird).

 

[amadeus]

Hi Everybody. This is Jim. It's very sad, but after a little over a year of rock solid friendship, Jackie and I agreed to end our friendship and go different ways. I realize that it's late at night and I probably won't hear from anybody, but my heart hurts and I'm very very sad. Please pray for me as this is a really difficult time for me. Thank you.

Praying for you and Jackie and your situation.

 

[dev553344]

Praying the Lord bless you with healing spirit!

 

[JimAndJackie]

Hi Everybody. This is Jim. It's very sad, but after a little over a year of rock solid friendship, Jackie and I agreed to end our friendship and go different ways. I realize that it's late at night and I probably won't hear from anybody, but my heart hurts and I'm very very sad. Please pray for me as this is a really difficult time for me. Thank you.

I just got a call from Jackie and through the grace of God we seem to have worked things out. The misunderstanding was that she thought I wanted to move to Iowa without her...there's been some talk recently about the eventual move. I explained that the plan was to move WITH her when the time was right (which would include getting married if the Lord willed)...not without her. I want to thank Keturah, Patrick1966, Ronald David Bruno, Amadeus, and dev 553344 for your comments of support. Your thoughts and prayers were what made this situation get fixed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much (James 5:16 NASB).

 

[dev553344]

I just got a call from Jackie and through the grace of God we seem to have worked things out. The misunderstanding was that she thought I wanted to move to Iowa without her...there's been some talk recently about the eventual move. I explained that the plan was to move WITH her when the time was right (which would include getting married if the Lord willed)...not without her. I want to thank Keturah, Patrick1966, Ronald David Bruno, Amadeus, and dev 553344 for your comments of support. Your thoughts and prayers were what made this situation get fixed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much (James 5:16 NASB).

Great news. Sounds like you two are supposed to be together.

 

[Mr E]

I just got a call from Jackie and through the grace of God we seem to have worked things out. The misunderstanding was that she thought I wanted to move to Iowa without her...there's been some talk recently about the eventual move. I explained that the plan was to move WITH her when the time was right (which would include getting married if the Lord willed)...not without her. I want to thank Keturah, Patrick1966, Ronald David Bruno, Amadeus, and dev 553344 for your comments of support. Your thoughts and prayers were what made this situation get fixed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much (James 5:16 NASB).

Sorry for this bitter pill, but the truth is -- a phone call from Jackie to discuss the matter like adults, rather than drag dirty laundry onto the forum is what fixed the situation.

Handle these things in private. Save the drama fo yo Mama.

 

[Ronald David Bruno]

Honestly, we were just really good friends. But we were so close that most people thought we were a couple. I did just receive a text from her saying that she's just hurt and needs some time to think things over. It's in God's hands now.

Yes, our lives are in God's hand, but we must take responsibility for our actions that have consequences. Your plans to move _ for whatever reasons _ requires this painful sacrifice that you are aware of. God is not forcing you to move, you want to or feel the need. You thought she might want to go, so you put out the feelers and she played along as if interested, trying to be supportive and positive, but really did't want to. No, was her answer. "Fine, I'm going without you then!" Is that something like how it went down? I am not judging you, but it is your decision.
In life we must make decisions that effect others, sometimes disappointing them. Someone always seems to get hurt from our actions. We set goals for ourselves, make a plan and then follow it. You said you are only good friends for only one year. That means you are just getting to know eachother. Rock solid would mean many years or decades of close friendship ... going through ups and downs with them. This one down, the first bump in the road and what _ it's over? Not too rock solid. It takes years for that.
But hey, It is not like you had her in mind to be your wife, right? Or maybe she felt differently about you? The best relationships between a man and a woman start out as friends. Maybe she was hopeful that it was going to turn into something more? That happens when you don't really know a person, you get mixed signals. One takes it seriously with hopes of it becoming more intimate and the other, thinks: "we are just really good friends". I mean you join a forum using both names AS IF YOU ARE A COUPLE IN LOVE. ??? You presented yourselves that way as if carving your names on a tree with a heart. ??? You sent signals out to others who actually know you and they thought you were a couple. But in your mind, you weren't. Was she hoping ... were you leading her on?
We have all heard the story and seen movies of the guy that just doesn't want to commit, wants his freedom and stays the bachelor. When things get too close, he runs away. But then there is usually more physical contact involved, kissing and you know, more. Not saying that's you.
But there are lots of people that are avoiding commitment in this young generation.
But a man has got to do what he has to do. Set a goal, make a plan that includes others or not and then do it. Friends are not attached to us like a betrothed for instance and don't typically move out of state to follow a friend.