My wife and I are both in our second marriage. Our first spouses are still alive. Are we adulterers?
We see the law concerning marriage reflected in the statement by Paul (Rom. 7) that a woman can't be married to another man while her husband yet lives.
2 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he lives; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.
3 So then if, while her husband lives, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.
4 Wherefore, my brethren, you also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that you should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God.
What that means is that one can't be ruled by both the flesh and the Spirit. We are joined to the ego outer man in the power of Adam until we are crucified in that part of us to liberate the inner man to be joined to Christ. The self life has to be put to death before a person can enter into Christ. Hence the cross and the power thereof. That is something that can't be changed...whether we agree or not. This is on
the level of holiness.
Concerning
physical marriage and what is in our power to do on the level of righteousness. A woman is married to her husband as long as he lives. And a man is not to put away his wife unless she is unfaithful to him (as per Jesus). A man is free to marry another woman if the first woman bears the responsibility for breaking the marriage vows (being unfaithful).
What of adultery? Are the ones that are remarried the ones who are responsible for the original marriage breakup? Are these innocent of responsibility for the failure of the marriage?
If a man puts away his wife (divorces her) because he simply wants another woman...then he is responsible for her subsequent adultery. A man should not leave his wife unless she is (physically) unfaithful to him. Likewise if a woman cheats on her husband and then leaves him for another man...the man she marries is also an adulterer just as she is.
My thoughts. I am not divorced (married to the same woman now for 37 years) , but I realize how difficult it is to have all ones ducks in a row, so to speak, when it comes to our relationships. Life is not always easy. So I'm not judging anyone. What I think is that if someone believes they are called into ministry, they should personify the law concerning Christ..being married to one woman...and a woman being married to one man... for righteousness sake. Just look at the extremes we see in those who are called God's servants. The RC church forbids marriage in their ministers. And the reformation would seem to allow marriage freedoms that go directly against the biblical admonitions...
Keeping to a spiritual balance I don't think that we should vilify those who are divorced and remarried. That's between God and them. When it comes to supporting ministries, however, I would be more careful. We are each responsible, as servants, to God. As servants we are to put God first. So then even if we sympathize with brothers and sisters who have had the misfortune to not having their marriages work out...we are not to compromise the holiness message...and that is something we are to all be subject to. Ministries need to be exemplary so that the way of God in Christ is not mocked. Not allowing marriage? Too far! Allowing any marriage? Too far the other way.