You are absolutley spot on corerct lastsecman
I lost my slavation but somehow through the grace of God I was given it back.
Basically I had a dream in which I was met by the Angel of Death who told me that he had a message from God. I was eager to ehar it but the messsage was that it was the will of God that I be sentenced to eternity burning in Hell. When I was told this I actually laughed at the ridiculousness of what he said. I replied that I aws a Christian and said that "I was saved by the blood of the lamb." Then he told me I was a fool to contest the will of God and went on to say that if God wants to send someone to Hell then it doesn't matter what they believe and that it is God's right to choose if soeone goes to Heaven or Hell. His words were, "it is the will of God that you burn in Hell."
When I awoke from this dream feeling very frightened and upset. It was a Sunday and I was to recieve Holy Communion and to be perfectly honest I wondered if there was any point doing so but I convinced myself that it was a dream and when in Church asked God's forgiveness for my sins and recieved the blessed Eucharist.
I did not know what to make of ths for months as I would try to convince myself that it was just a dream. Eventually I realised that I really had had my salvation taken from me. Before that I had never believed in the doctrine of predestination as I had believed it was unfair and cruel, so I had avoided it. Now I understand that it had been ordained by God that I was to burn and no amount of believing would help me because it was God's will and I also decided that even though I was denied salvation I would try to serve God and never give up on him even if he had given up on me.
So I had lost my salvation and had I died would have gone straight to Hell because it had been revealed to me that it was God's will. When I came to this realisation I almost knew what Hell was like. OK I didn't ahve the heat and the pain of Hell but I felt the separation and I felt jealous of other Christians who all seemed so sure that they were saved and never ave any credence to waht I said. I envied them, I really did, and though I felt angry and jealous and asked God, "why why," I never stopped believing, never stopped loving God and never stopped in my religious observance. Indeed I continued to recieve Holy Communion.
However, things did change. I was a ta Diocisan day in which hundreds of people from my diocese came together to attend seminars and workshops and to attend services. The first service of the day was Mattins and was presided over by the Bishop. Throughout the service and throughout hsi lenghty sermon i was very bitter becasue everywhere I looed I saw Christians who were all saved and would god to heven and I felt so jealous that I thought I might burst because I was dammed to Hell and yet still loved God and worshipped as they did. Then the final hymn came and somehow it helped to calm me and God spke through it. "I almost heard witht he voices of the congregation the words, "your no longer dammd," and when I came out of the servie for a coffeebreak I just couldn't get those words out of my head and I felt like I was filled with joy because I as no longer sentenced to eternal perdition, I was given my salvation and not because I had earned it or deserved it but simply through God's grace, which is so amazing I jsut can't explain it, but imagine what it feels like to be hopeless and all alone only to be pulled out of the hoplessness and given another chance.
So yes lastsecman, people can loose their slavation, but they don't have to be dead to find out that they are on an inescapable road to eternal perdition. I coudl do nothign, I was sentenced and I would burn but it was God's grace that brought me back into the fold and showed me that I am lvoed and valued by God. I do both love and fear God, I always will and I want to warn the complacent that to not fear God and his warth is a realy folly as the two msut be balanced.
When I tell people about this vision they tell me that it mut ahve come from Satan in order to frighten me from turning away from Christ. If so then this has not succeeded as I never turned from Christ and never will. I believe in an all seeing all knowing, all powerful God who can do as he pleases and can cause both good and evil as and when he pleases and if he wishes to send a rihtous person to Hell then he will do so and if he wishes to send a vile sinner to Heaven he will do so, it is his perogative. He is limmited by nothing.
tomwebster, this is why i fear God
Thanks for sharing, Templar, I aprreciated reading your story. :)
My understanding is not quite the same, in other words, I don't see it so much as predestined or not, but reconciled or not. I do think God calls people, but then I think it is according to what we are walking to.
But I did have a similar experience! I was so sure I was a christian, I did the christian thing, I believed in Jesus... And one day I was confronted with something, a brother, who basically saved my life by this, made a decision.
I did not like it, and was fiercely against him in this. I was angry, frustrated. Soon enough the Lord showed me something, this was his hand in the situation, and it was him I was going against! :blink:
I learnt that my ways were not his ways. My pride was brought down. God showed me I was not according to his will, and was not pleasing to him... I didn't give up in this, but was seeking the Lord. I was frustrated with him, but I knew he was in authority. I also feared.
He brought me to the end of myself, and when I broke down in tears and finally let it go, he showed me his way. It was only a beginning, but my life in not the same since, and I have learnt much, and found him in deeper ways.
I was Christian, but I was lost!
Blessings to you in the Lord! :)
Just a thought to add... My understanding of it is that it is not so much 'losing' or 'gaining' your salvation, but walking in it. But as long as we do, the doctrine is only a detail. Your story is a beautiful one of the redeeming power of the Lord in man's life! May we continue in his ways to the end! :)
